The crazy things people say when you are losing weight...
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"When are you going to stop?"
Seriously...why would I stop?
Lol I get this too. Even though I've lost a lot of weight, I still have a lot of body fat to drop. I've had people tell me my goal weight, and which is in the normal bmi range, is too small! Really?0 -
Might be jealous...or could be sick of OTHER people criticizing his food & exercise choices, and is cringing and hoping you don't start doing the same. A lot of people, when they're newly "converted" to a lifestyle, religion, diet, fad--heck, a new favorite book!--can get really pushy about it without realizing it. And some people really do change friends, either because they do become cocky or simply because the activities and habits they shared with their old friends just don't translate to their new healthier lifestyle, and the friendship isn't strong enought to make the transition.So a couple of days ago I went out to lunch with a friend. He complimented me about how much weight I have lost and then he said. "Your not going to become cocky, are you?" I said that I hadn't planed on it, but why would you ask? He replied, well you know, when people loose a bunch of weight they think their better than everyone and become super cocky. That was really one of the first uncomfortable conversations I have had about my weight loss....and still don't know how to take it. He may have some jealousy issues.....
So maybe he's jealous, maybe he's afraid you'll make him feel worse about his choices...but maybe he's also just worried about losing a friend.0 -
80 pounds?!? That's awesome! And there's no way that's gone unnoticed. Perhaps the people in your life are just trying to avoid some of the insensitive comments we've seen in this thread. Great job!I don't even have an answer. No one has ever really acknowledged my weight loss though I've lost over 80 pounds since last year. :ohwell:0 -
People used to tell me "You carry your weight well" and "I can't believe you have more then 10 pounds to lose". I guess they thought it would make me feel better when I was down about it not coming off fast enough...0
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Oh, honey -- you need to block that man from your mind, if you can't block him from your life (sounds like you might still be living at home for a bit yet?). No one should be calling you a horse, let alone trying to convince you that it's your destiny. He's lashing out at you because you make him see his own failings. Ignore him, and get as far away from him as possible. Stay strong!I have been having the opposite experince! My step dad is an older man, and is overweight so therefore suffers from diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure etc. etc. and no matter how many times the doctor has insisted that he needs to lose weight, he just doesn't seem to care about himself and eats whatever etc. So, I thought, I do NOT want to end up like him. So I decided to do something about it. I've only been using Myfitnesspal for a week and a half but it makes me realise! So, my step dad says things to me about my weight and that but they're always insults never compliments (probably just because he's jealous!) His recent comment was, 'can't you just accept the fact your going to be a horse all your life'. It's really horrible what he says and it really upsets me, but at the same time, it also gives me the motivation to prove him wrong and to one day say, remember that time I was overweight.... Look at me now! Cannot wait for this day! He's an A**hole
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:happy:
Hi all, I'm a new memeber here on myfitnesspal.com. Plus I have the app! I'm here to make friends and lose weight. I eat healthy and workout an hour a day!!!
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Lauren, he is clearly a tool and you are far better off without him.I think the worst thing said to me during my progress was about three months ago...when my relationship imploded...
as my now ex was walking out the door he said
"you know if you hadn't lost that weight we would still be together"
:noway:
excuse me? I better not have heard you right.
Lauren0 -
I work mostly from home, so I do get a reaction at times when I pop in to the office.
Lender person: "Are you losing the baby weight?" Me: "um no, our youngest was born in 1977, I'm just working on being healthy" :ohwell:
Same dipwad later in the day: "You know if you lose too much weight your face will be really wrinkled once you turn 40." Apparently maths are not her strong suit since our son will be 35 in November :laugh:
This past week at a funeral home a distant relative walked up and said "Wow you've lost so much weight you look hot; let me see your butt." My husband rolled his eyes and said its time for Karl to go back to rehab... again.0 -
You're wife is a lucky woman.
Why would this anger anybody?
this,I think one of the things I'm not prepared for is getting attention from people who would never have looked twice at my heavy self.
It ticks me off.
Attraction is just nature's expression of the pro-creative instinct.
Of course you'll get more attention the more weight you lose.
That is to be expected.
Welcome to the human race.:drinker:
well bobby, let me try to explain it to you. Since both the posters you quoted were both women. Now, even though I've been happily married for 11 years and probably reasonably "trained"...haha....please feel free ladies to correct me if I'm in error here.....when women don't get attention from men because they are heavy (as in the first poster) and then they lose weight and start getting attention, the feeling is they don't have any worth unless they have a nice hot body. They don't feel respected or that they don't have worth as a human being other than just someone who looks good. They want to be valued as a "whole" person who has value way beyond just their physical appearance. This is where the anger comes from. If I'm not nice to look at, then I have no value. When all of us, men and women, have much more to offer and are much more valuable than just our physical appearance. Hope that clear its up for ya.
While your statement might be theoretically "true" in the abstract, Its male thinking. Which is normal because you are in fact a man, unless your profile pic is a complete lie.
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First, I think there are a lot of people that have no skill at being genuine, caring people. The craziest thing I hear is "you don't need to lose any weight" so then I show them my "bikini" photos and it shuts them right up, LOLLLLLLLLLLL!! I have a small build with all or much of it in my mid section, very easy to hide, but not from myself:)
Hang in there and sounds you are doing awesome!! Lot's of support here for you too:)I am in the middle of losing a lot of weight that I have carried all my life. It's noticeable. Most people say something along the lines of, "Wow, you look great!" which is a wonderful boost for me. Plus it has the added benefit of allowing me to either say "thank you" and move on, or to open up a discussion about it if I so choose.
It's amazing to me what some people have said to me though! Many people will come up to me in the hall at work, and instead of saying "hi" will say, "So how much weight have you lost?" I am not comfortable giving my number out to everyone, because I still have a long way to go, and frankly, it's still embarrassing to me that I had so much to lose in the first place. I had one person who could not let it go (and this was someone I can NOT stand under the best of circumstances!). When he asked how much I had lost, I just replied "a lot." He kept on asking "so how much is a lot?" Seriously! Why does it matter!?
When I first started losing weight, people would ask me if I was losing weight. I learned to answer, "Yes, I am certainly trying to!" because if I just said "yes" it was following with something like "have you been sick?"
Many people want to know what I am doing. I have started making stuff up, because no one believes that I could just change my eating habits and exercise routine and have any success. I told someone once that I had been hypnotized. Haha!
My favorite is the woman who said "I didn't know you had weight loss surgery!" Yeah...I didn't. How uncomfortable.
What is the craziest thing that someone has said to you while you were losing weight?0 -
Wow, really?Why the complains about what people say?
They notice your progress.
Just be glad they did not say what they were thinking before the weight loss.
Be VERY glad :drinker:
Because of the level of condescension that comes along with the commentary provided by others. They don't really need to say what they thought about us before we lost weight, because the attitude and tone of their comments makes it clear that they've waited AGES to tell us what they really thought of us. When you've lost weight, it becomes open season on your former self. When you haven't lost enough weight to believe you're changing for good, those demeaning comments about your former self cut deep. Once they realize that you've recognized that you're overweight (because they assume you're entirely unaware of your size), then they really want to make it known that they've already thought at great length about EXACTLY the plan you should follow to get to the size they deem appropriate.
Are people really this thin-skinned?
BUCK UP FOLKS!
Crybabies don't get very far in life.
Neither do jerks.0 -
I find that kind of thing is pretty common. You change something about the way you look. People recognize that something's different, but they can't figure out what, so they make some funny guesses....
The craziest thing said to me was, after I had lost 25 lbs, three people came up to me on the same day and said, "Did you get a haircut?"
For instance, I get my hair cut and someone asks if I got new glasses. I wear my contacts, and someone asks if I lost weight. etc...0 -
I had something like that when I first started losing weight. I got really excited when my second weigh-in showed I lost 5lbs (after 5 weeks, of course )and told my family about it. My sister gave me this weird stare and said "You aren't starving yourself, are you?" I actually started laughing at this because I was still eating junk foods like burgers combos and pasta on a regular basis. I know, not the healthiest things to have, but aside from that it seems funny that people automatically think in order to lose weight you have to take drugs/surgery or have an eating disorder. 0
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I always heard from my family that i should stop starving myself and i kept telling them i was not starving myself, but they did not want to hear it.0
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For up to the first 70 pounds. "What have you done with your hair?" "I love your hairstyle! "" Did you change the color of your hair. " Now at 90 + pounds, in more revealing summer clothes. . ."I hate you, you are dead to me!", (in jest from an obviously jealous person), "Your face looks so thin" (What about my rear end?) "What are you doing to lose weight?" My standard answer. . ."Eating less, moving more"
The comments I appreciate most. "Good for you!" " You look great!" "You must feel terrific"0 -
I love hearing "Wow, I don't even recognize you!"
Although when they ask how I've done it, and I tell them I had surgery I hate when they're like "Oh, so the cheater way then."
Excuse me? I have completely changed my entire lifestyle. The surgery is a tool, and like a hammer I still have to work to wield it. I watch what I'm eating, make sure I'm taking the appropriate vitamins, making sure I am drinking enough etc....
Not to mention the MAJOR complications I went through. Long story short, there is no "cheating" about it. There is nothing "easy" about it either. I have had to mentally rewire myself... because just because my stomach capacity is physically smaller does not mean my brain wants chocolate cake any less.
That and I exercise every week, and I have been rewarded with significant weight loss. I underwent the surgery because my weight got out of control, and I couldn't get it back under control on my own. So with countless months of preparation with my surgeon and dieting, counseling and weekly nutritionist visits, (the 3 months I was in the hospital with complications) and my ongoing commitment to change... I have earned my weight loss.
Although now I just stop telling anyone that I had surgery. I just smile and tell them its a mix of anorexia and bulimia. I get far less judgement that way, and people stfu.0 -
MIne too has been people asking me what pill I was on. For some reason they had a hard time accepting that I dropped 90 pounds by simple diet and exercise. I try to tell them all the time that I didn't start a diet I changed my life, but they still want to know what the magic pill was. Now I say water, veggies and lots of sunshine
The cutest for me was my grandma when she saw me last year she was impressed with my weight loss and then expressed concern over how skinny I looked. She gently tapped my leg and said Honey you look too thin, come with me I'm gonna make you a sandwich. LOL I laugh because I know that she is just being who she is and she is grandma and tends to worry a lot. So even though I would have declined that from someone else I allowed that to be my cheat for the week and let her 'tend' to her granddaughter LOL
Sandwiches made by our Grandma (Nana) are always the best. Made with love and care which makes it taste so much better.0 -
Now that I am pregnant, whenever I go out to eat with friends, if i refuse cakes or second helpings, they are like, its okay to eat them, your pregnant, you need to gain weight. I'm like ya I need to gain weight, but i don't need to sabotage myself and gain 80lbs! whenever they ask me, well how much weight have you gained, and then I tell them, they are like well thats nothing! I'm like yes its plenty. LOL. I have gained 3lbs MORE than the recommended at my stage (3.5months pregnant and I gained 8lbs)
really? how much does a one or two pound fetus need to grow? Pregnant ladies do not need to "eat for two," especially if "two" is interpreted as "two fully grown people." So, pass on the cake and send over the fruits and veggies.
I was six or seven months along, obviously pregnant, and a lady commented "Oh, have you been losing weight?" I was dumbstruck! She knew I was pregnant. After a moment, I told her "Thank you, but if anything, I've been gaining weight throughout my PREGNANCY. {awkward chuckle}"0 -
My parents think I'm anorexic.
And they are on the right...0 -
people are so damn dumb...they need constant instruction.... :indifferent:0
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I have been asked quite a bit how I am doing it. I cannot take credit for the answer because I read it on here somewhere. My response "it is two simple steps: I eat less, mostly plants, and exercise". If they seem genuinely interested I explain MFP and my exercise routine but usually by then I have lost them.0
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Someone once said, I liked you better when you were fat.
Seriously?? Who says that. I think they liked me more when I was 50lbs heavier because I made them feel better about themselves or ok with the poor decisions they were making.
Apparently I am no fun when I don't want to have ice cream and chocolate everyday.0 -
I was told that I lost "a ton" of weight. hahaha didn't know I had "a ton" to lose! 0
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my favorite is "omg you don't need to lose anymore weight!" or don't get too skinny as someone that was 200lbs i'm pretty sure getting "too skinny" won't happen lol. As far as a number i'm happy to admit i have lost 65lbs i'm really proud of all the work i have done to get here. also how much you weigh is a lie i would always want to tell now i'm happy to shout it from the roof tops! be proud of what you are doing and keep it up and ignore all the go eat a cheeseburger comments! good luck!0
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I've heard a lot of really ill-timed, well intentioned but horribly said compliments that were so back handed Serena Williams wouldn't have been able to handle it..fortunately for me I'm sarcastic and the more weight I lose the thicker my skin has gotten. So I while I am always grateful to those who are well meaning, those who aren't- well they just get what they get.. unfortunately these are all statements/compliments that I've gotten over the years
Them: Are you losing weight so you can date more??? (with wide eyes and heartfelt concern)
Me: Well no..I mean your boyfriend didn't seem to have a problem with my weight sooo......
Them: Tell me what you take cause I need to lose about ten pounds too!
Me: Ibuprofen. From the 5 to 6 days a week I spend in the gym (and trust me honey, it's more than ten pounds. Didn't say it-thought it)
Them: I bet you think you're sexy now huh?
Me: Yes. Yes it just happened this very second. Thank you for being here to share the moment with me.
Them: Wow in a couple of months you'll be hot enough to date (a lovely guy tossed this jewel at me)
Me: (snapping fingers) Aww man..in a couple of months I'm gonna be busy. Living in a convent. On the moon. Forever.
And my all time favorite:
Them: I bet now that you think you're all cute (again, it happened in that exact moment I guess) you don't have time to talk to me anymore huh?
Me: Well actually I didn't like talking to you before..I just didn't have the speed or agility to get away from you like I can now..
The bottom line for me is this: I understand when you make a positive change in your life people will need to tear it down to some extent based on their own insecurities. If they want to lose weight but don't have the courage/discipline/motivation/determination- they can't imagine you could have those things. So they feel the need to pull your off of your course so that the status quo can be maintained. In their minds you looking better means they look worse. They just can't seperate your success from their failure....it's an unfortunate side-effect of losing weight in that some times you lose people too. But in reality this is a blessing..because if they don't cheer at your success they didn't deserve you anyway..
And my favorite way to answer the question of "how much more do you want to lose anyway??" you know they tone they say it in..kind of snide, kind of rude but always with a smile cause that makes it okay..
My answer : I'll make you a deal..you don't ask how much I want to lose, I won't ask how much you need to lose - never fails to end the conversation)) 0 -
Wow, really?Why the complains about what people say?
They notice your progress.
Just be glad they did not say what they were thinking before the weight loss.
Be VERY glad :drinker:
Because of the level of condescension that comes along with the commentary provided by others. They don't really need to say what they thought about us before we lost weight, because the attitude and tone of their comments makes it clear that they've waited AGES to tell us what they really thought of us. When you've lost weight, it becomes open season on your former self. When you haven't lost enough weight to believe you're changing for good, those demeaning comments about your former self cut deep. Once they realize that you've recognized that you're overweight (because they assume you're entirely unaware of your size), then they really want to make it known that they've already thought at great length about EXACTLY the plan you should follow to get to the size they deem appropriate.
Are people really this thin-skinned?
BUCK UP FOLKS!
Crybabies don't get very far in life.
Neither do jerks.
Further than crybabies...what with wiping up the tears and all....0 -
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all the posts. I just joined MFP, before this I lost 15 lbs by logging my food in a journal. I have 7 lbs more to go to reach my goal weight, so overall I am about 2/3rd's of the way there. I work in an office with a lot of older women (in fact I am the youngest person in the whole company) and i swear they are getting resentful that I am losing weight. They have all asked what I am doing, I tell them I have cleaned up my diet and exercise more but they do not want to hear it. It's sad when the best advice falls on deaf ears.0
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I've heard a lot of really ill-timed, well intentioned but horribly said compliments that were so back handed Serena Williams wouldn't have been able to handle it..fortunately for me I'm sarcastic and the more weight I lose the thicker my skin has gotten. So I while I am always grateful to those who are well meaning, those who aren't- well they just get what they get.. unfortunately these are all statements/compliments that I've gotten over the years
Them: Are you losing weight so you can date more??? (with wide eyes and heartfelt concern)
Me: Well no..I mean your boyfriend didn't seem to have a problem with my weight sooo......
Them: Tell me what you take cause I need to lose about ten pounds too!
Me: Ibuprofen. From the 5 to 6 days a week I spend in the gym (and trust me honey, it's more than ten pounds. Didn't say it-thought it)
Them: I bet you think you're sexy now huh?
Me: Yes. Yes it just happened this very second. Thank you for being here to share the moment with me.
Them: Wow in a couple of months you'll be hot enough to date (a lovely guy tossed this jewel at me)
Me: (snapping fingers) Aww man..in a couple of months I'm gonna be busy. Living in a convent. On the moon. Forever.
And my all time favorite:
Them: I bet now that you think you're all cute (again, it happened in that exact moment I guess) you don't have time to talk to me anymore huh?
Me: Well actually I didn't like talking to you before..I just didn't have the speed or agility to get away from you like I can now..
The bottom line for me is this: I understand when you make a positive change in your life people will need to tear it down to some extent based on their own insecurities. If they want to lose weight but don't have the courage/discipline/motivation/determination- they can't imagine you could have those things. So they feel the need to pull your off of your course so that the status quo can be maintained. In their minds you looking better means they look worse. They just can't seperate your success from their failure....it's an unfortunate side-effect of losing weight in that some times you lose people too. But in reality this is a blessing..because if they don't cheer at your success they didn't deserve you anyway..
And my favorite way to answer the question of "how much more do you want to lose anyway??" you know they tone they say it in..kind of snide, kind of rude but always with a smile cause that makes it okay..
My answer : I'll make you a deal..you don't ask how much I want to lose, I won't ask how much you need to lose - never fails to end the conversation))
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: L
VE this! You're now my official smartass hero (and yes, it happened in this exact moment!) :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: 0 -
"Why are you killing yourself with diet and exercise, you will never look like your 20!"
LOL I didnt know that was my goal!0 -
"When are you going to stop?"
i get this a lot from my co-workers...
recently ive had a lot of people come up to me and comment on how heavy i used to be, then comment on how good i look now. i understand they are trying to comment but dang, dont harp on the subject! it only makes me feel worse about my old self than i already feel!0
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