Getting To The Gym!

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RunDottyRun
RunDottyRun Posts: 95
in Fitness and Exercise
Ok so back in March I joined a gym. I joined only after my partner agreed that he'd look after the kids and let me go at least 1-2 times week (even though I'd prefer every 2nd day). This went okay for about a month, then he started to refuse to let me go.

Now it's months later, and we're paying $65/month for NOTHING. I am so irritated. I will even get into my workout clothes, pack my gym bag, get the kids fed, settled ect so they're easy to look after... and I'm still not allowed to go.

Anyone else have this happen and have advice?
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Replies

  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
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    Are they his kids? If so, he isn't "babysitting" he's being a father. Don't wait for permission just pack and go. If they aren't his kids, is there anyone else who can watch them? Is there childcare at your gym?
  • RunDottyRun
    RunDottyRun Posts: 95
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    They're both our kids. I can't just up and leave because I know if I did, he wouldn't look after them. He'd likely lock them in their rooms until I got back and just put headphones on so he didn't have to hear them cry.

    & no, no daycare at the gym.
  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
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    I'm staying clear of the relationship advice because thats a whole kettle of fish on its own. That said can you take the $65 a month and start you're own gym? A bench, some adjustable bar/dumbbells, maybe a jump rope or a bike? Maybe for cardio take the kids to the park and chase them around?
  • RunDottyRun
    RunDottyRun Posts: 95
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    No because it was a 12 month membership. Locked in till next March, otherwise I would have just cancelled it case closed. :( The thing I'm irritated with is the money going to waste!
  • ncqueenbee
    ncqueenbee Posts: 147 Member
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    How much will it cost to cancel the membership. Will it cost more or less than the $65 per month x 12?

    If you can, I too suggest you establish your own mini gym at home. Get some work-out dvds, a few weights etc. I cancelled my gym membership many, many years ago because it was just to inconvenient with my hectic schedule, and now I have a nice set-up in my spare bedroom...treadmill, spin bike, weights..etc.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.
  • mmk137
    mmk137 Posts: 833 Member
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    that's one seriously poor excuse.

    remind him of the agreement, also tell him, if he wants you to be the best that you can be, you need to go to the gym
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I'm not going to give relationship advice, but that doesn't stop me from giving him the ****ty dad of the year award. I'm a single Dad with sole custody of my THREE children. NOTHING is more important than spending time with them.

    Then again, we'd be finding a sitter anyhow, because I'd be going to the gym WITH my wife.

    In the end though, given your stated circumstances...you have no choice but to pay it and don't go, or go and jeapordize your children and relationship.

    This is assuming your relationship is more important of course.

    Good luck with all of this...but unless you give in to him and how he's manipulating you...I don't see it ending well at all.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

    Don't have any kids of your own...do you.
  • MelStren
    MelStren Posts: 457 Member
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    Maybe you can hire a sitter to come in so you can go to the gym.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    WOW. Not "allowed" to go??? I think he is insecure of you getting all fit, and dumping him.
  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
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    WOW. Not "allowed" to go??? I think he is insecure of you getting all fit, and dumping him.
    This. I would also say tell him to suck it up (I do have children). But then again, this would tell my hubby I was serious - but hes an awesome dad. It has happend to me though, and that is what I have done.

    Get a sitter if you have to, say its for x amount of children, and one "grown" male. LOL.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
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    They're both our kids. I can't just up and leave because I know if I did, he wouldn't look after them. He'd likely lock them in their rooms until I got back and just put headphones on so he didn't have to hear them cry.


    I'm sorry but this makes me physically ill.
  • MrsBully4
    MrsBully4 Posts: 304 Member
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    This situation sounds incredibly effed up.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

    Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

    Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

    She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

    Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.
  • jeffpettis
    jeffpettis Posts: 865 Member
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    Take the $65.00 a month and hire a divorce attorney!!! They're his kids and he won't be a father while you go to the gym? He'll lock them in they're rooms? What the hell are you still doing with this piece of garbage that calls himself a man????? :mad:
  • denisebme
    denisebme Posts: 103 Member
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    Ok so back in March I joined a gym. I joined only after my partner agreed that he'd look after the kids and let me go at least 1-2 times week (even though I'd prefer every 2nd day). This went okay for about a month, then he started to refuse to let me go.

    Now it's months later, and we're paying $65/month for NOTHING. I am so irritated. I will even get into my workout clothes, pack my gym bag, get the kids fed, settled ect so they're easy to look after... and I'm still not allowed to go.

    Anyone else have this happen and have advice?

    I don't normally comment on other people's relationships, but this one just got my blood boiling.

    You are a grown woman, there is no "allowed" here, you make your own choices. That said, you obviously can not leave your children with someone unwilling to look after them, or who would lock them up in their rooms just to spite you if you left. That makes me sick!

    This man is not your partner, he's not even much of a man, because real men don't act like that.

    You really do teach people how to treat you. You need to change the lesson plan with this moron.. (sorry, strong feelings about this subject)

    Oh yes, and I did have this in my life once.. I got divorced.. I just wish it was that easy. After years of putting up with this behavior, I finally said "no more", and my home erupted into violence. I took my kids, put them in my car with only the clothes on our backs, and ran 1000 miles to get away. When we give up control of our own lives to someone else, they don't give it up easily. When you give it to someone who uses it to manipulate and control you, they don't react so well when you try to take it back.
  • BABetter1
    BABetter1 Posts: 618 Member
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    And, I would add one thing to what the previous responders said. The fact that you seem very accepting of this "allowed or not allowed to go" situation is utterly disturbing to me. A person who loves, cares about, and values another person (in other words, a healthy relationship) wants them to do things that make them happy and healthy. This man seems very controlling. It's great that you want to improve the health of your body, but you might want to start looking into ways to improve the health of your relationship as well.
  • yarwell
    yarwell Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Maybe you can hire a sitter to come in so you can go to the gym.

    Preferably an unattractive one.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

    Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

    Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

    She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

    Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

    So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

    I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

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