"you don't need to lose weight"

I am getting "STOP running" ~ "You're perfect" ~ "Don't lose anymore" ~ "You're not going to lose anymore weight are you?" etc. etc. - and all this from people who used to enjoy telling me how FAT I was... can't win!

StaceyZombie: Not to mention, I had a work meeting which included dinner with the region at PF Chang's....I declined the greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers....I declined the plethora of mini cakes for dessert....I ate lettuce wraps and drank unsweetened tea. At lunch the next day, I declined potato chips...to which I get the comment that it's great I have so much dedication to losing weight, but I'm borderline "neurotic" about it (says my territorial vice president)...WTF.

People don't like it when you judge them indirectly. Saying things like "greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers" means that your TVP and anyone else who may have heard you is suddenly a glutton and you're better than them. I'd take offense, just sayin'. From what it seems, you probably also said something to the effect of the above about the potato chips too - and yes, getting called "neurotic" about your weight loss goal was the normal response.

Just saying "I'm trying to eat healthier to better myself" or hell, lying and saying "I'm not really in the mood for chips" is better when in a social situation with people not doing the same thing as you.

That's the thing!!!!! I DIDN'T say anything, I just said "no thank you"!!! I attempt to keep my calorie counting to myself where ever possible to avoid discussing my personal health choices, it's only when people probe or question me that I divulge the ever-boring details.

I would just take the comment at face-value, as an attempt to be kind or even complimentary, and move on. Odds are pretty good that your friends and family don't really wish for you to be unhealthy or unhappy, even if they're not supportive in the way you want them to be. You have your own goals and your own reasons for working toward them, and that is ultimately the only thing that matters.

people that say it to me are...

1. fat
2. lazy
3. want me to go out with them that day/night

I generally just say.. umm, but I do. Thanks.

Hezz

This. I notice it's always people who are either overweight or looking for someone to drink/eat with that say this to me. It drives me crazy.

I know it's probably mighty frustrating to you but it could be worse... It could be that you're my size, and instead of telling you you don't need to lose weight, everyone is telling you how much you DO need to lose weight... Even those you see on the street that don't know you from a hole in the ground feel the need to put their input in on your life and size.. even in the 5 seconds they see you before they pass you by that they just can't keep their opinion to themselves... So like i said... Could be much worse.
As long as you know where you're going and you know it's a healthy place to be, while it doesn't make the situation better, it /is/ the only thing that matters in the situation. I don't think they are meaning to offend you, or at least I would hope not. And if it is, or you feel it is, then just stop going around them until you're where you want to be :P

This is so inspiring! Congratulations on making your own decision to improve your health.
She's right though, the other people in this world can think whatever they want, for whatever reason applies to them. You are doing what is right for you, and that is better than anything you could do for others.

If someone says to me, "you look fine" I remind them that "It isn't about how I look. It's about not getting diabetes when I'm 60." That usually shuts them up.

My come back has always been to thank them and to let them know that I'm toning up. That way the weight loss isn't as much of an issue.

Bingo! I really don't need to lose weight (5'8", 119 lbs) so when people give me grief about checking nutrient content in food or declining a dessert (because I'd rather spend the calories on a protein shake later) I just reply that eating right and working out is my plan to *gain* weight by adding lean muscle.

Make the discussion about health rather than vanity and rational people can't really argue with you.

I get called an idiot for trying to lose weight and it is so awkward. I also get sighed at if i'm seen looking at calories or saying no to something bad. I don't mind the comments like 'ah you're tiny!' and things as I know it doesn't mean you are literally tiny but when someone hasn't seen you for a while and you have lost a bit then you do look tiny for you.

When i've lost weight before people use to try to make me eat. This time I have said I am not depriving myself, I am just being healthier and if I lose weight it's a bonus and it seems to have helped with the comments. Also as I am eating a larger quantity of food than I did when I was bigger, but being better thought out meals, they all seem to want my advice

OMG, the sighs! Those sighs of despair happen almost every time I decline some food or I order a "healthy" meal at a restaurant. I have one aunt who literally sighs every time she sees me exercise (like I was getting ready for a morning run during a reunion) or I decline an offer to eat.

I have this thing with fruit--in that, I don't like fruit. I can eat a single banana or apple, but that's basically it. But fruit on dessert? Ugh, get that thing away from me! Or pineapple on pizza? I mean--why do people like this? Fat or thin, I was never gonna eat a fruitcake or blueberry pie.

So, my aunt offered me a cheesecake with strawberries on top. I decline because I actually don't want to eat it. If it were a plain or cheesecake (or chocolate), I would've accepted. But noooooo...."Why are you still dieting?!?!?!"

Generally, I just become blunt with some humour added: "I am not intending to lose more weight, so don't worry. Would I like to gain more muscle? Sure, but that would involve a different type of discipline which I'm still trying to develop, so just be patient, okay? In the meantime, I like how I look like, so get used to it. In the meantime, I have other flaws you can pick at instead."

It's difficult too when the people supporting you are also the people who are making things hard for you. My dad, for example, has always drilled into me that chocolate makes you feel better (admittedly, that holds true), that eating sugar-free and fat-free foods makes you some kind of environmental health nut, and that depriving yourself of the foods you love isn't worth it. He's constantly offering ice cream (my biggest weakness), and he rolls his eyes or teases me whenever I'm eating vegetables or fruits, or when I turn down an offer for something that I love but isn't good for me. He seems to think that I never eat, or that I don't eat near enough, but it's only because I'm eating healthier foods! But he's also one of my biggest supporters, telling me on occasion that he's proud of my determination and my decision to change my lifestyle for the better. Sometimes I just think he lives to give me a hard time, but I guess that's what dads are for.

My roommate, on the other hand, had an actual problem with me losing weight. She was on the cusp of obesity, and since I started off with a healthy BMI, she gave me a hard time about how I was already in a healthy weight range and if I thought of myself as fat, how should she interpret what I thought of her weight? I told her I wasn't judging myself in relation to others; heck, I just want to feel good about myself. That's when she started on the whole spiel about how we should embrace our bodies just how they are, etc., which translated to me as just an excuse for her not working out too.

As has been mentioned a few times before, some people really do just get jealous and don't know how to confront their own physical insecurities when faced with someone who does. I just figure that I'll curb their snarky comments all the more as I lose weight and tone up, and hopefully inspire them to change their lifestyles for the better as well.

Goodness, I didn't realize I'd written an entire novel. :embarassed:

If you feel you need to let them know what is going on, tell them that you want to feel comfortable in your own skin and that you want to be more healthy. It is your body and if they really do care, let them also that it will help you out if you have their support.

I get those comments too. Especially because I am tall, I carry my weight differently. I get 'you aren't going to lose much more are you?' Yeah I am. I have stopped trying to explain it to people because I just get pissed off. They're not going to understand because they aren't me!

stop telling people. its none of their business.

It may not be their business. But as friends and family I want their support. Most of this is from the family, and they are bigger. My main problem is that they say that stuff, and I keep getting offered junk food, and I keep saying no and they keep going "But I don't want it" I explain to them that I'm on a diet so I don't want that food. that's usually when I get the Oh you don't need to lose weight crap. It helps to make them aware of the weight loss as it HAS helped the offers of junk food. Just not the other stuff

You are not going to change them. Understand that and make the proper choices for the proper reasons and continue on. No reason to let it bother you.

stop telling people. its none of their business.

It may not be their business. But as friends and family I want their support. Most of this is from the family, and they are bigger. My main problem is that they say that stuff, and I keep getting offered junk food, and I keep saying no and they keep going "But I don't want it" I explain to them that I'm on a diet so I don't want that food. that's usually when I get the Oh you don't need to lose weight crap. It helps to make them aware of the weight loss as it HAS helped the offers of junk food. Just not the other stuff

I find telling people that I am trying to be healthier, instead of mentioning diet or weight loss - i don't get that as much now; course of course most ppl mean well, but it's still frustrating.

lol i had one of my teachers in hs tell a teen boy once "have you seen me nake?"... "then zip it", after he made a similar comment. She said it lightheartedly (just as he had) but we went to a really conservative private school and the color of his face was enough to stop any more comments lol!!

I've started getting this recently, mostly from people who have been struggling or yo-yoing with the same 10-15lbs. "You don't have X-lbs to lose!" is another popular one.

I always tell them that I see myself naked - and naked me has a different story to tell. Usually, they don't quite know how to respond to that without sounding either offensive or inappropriate and thus ends the conversation.