I could do With a Hug

frando
frando Posts: 583 Member
in Motivation and Support
At dinner tonight we had salad (as you can see from my diary) and I had one slice of cheese, one slice, and my Dad exploded 'and when do you plan on loosing that???'

I didn't tell my parents that I'm going to the gym and neither of them had noticed me loosing a stone and it was just the last straw. I finished dinner, completed my diary and showed my dad it. Showing cleary I have left over calories. I can't remember much of the argument that followed but it wasn't pleasant. I remember the 'you should be 1200 calories a day and it doesn't matter what exercise you do you should never eat more just because you've exercised, good luck with that appy thing!!!'

It was when I told him I'd lost a stone he literally laughed in my face.

I'm just feeling so detested and pointless and ****. I thought had accomplished something but I obviously haven't. What's the point any more???
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Replies

  • meglynne1987
    meglynne1987 Posts: 382 Member
    :flowerforyou: I am so sorry you are dealing with that. Just try and keep your head up and look to MFP for support if you need to!
    Sending you a hug!
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
    Ew, your dad sounds like a jerk. Sending virtual hugs your way, and the patience to deal with unkind people. Remember, you're doing this for yourself, not anyone else. Take a deep breath, and keep doing what you're doing. If it's working, you're fine!
  • p0kers0ph
    p0kers0ph Posts: 250 Member
    The point is that you are making amazing progress!
    You are doing this for yourself, not for anyone else. I'm really sorry that your dad isn't supportive.
    Personally I would just carry on doing what you need to do and focus on yourself. Please don't let anyone else ruin your goals.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,728 Member
    Don't let your dad ruin this for you.

    Parents think they have our best interest at heart, but they aren't right all the time.

    You are doing something really amazing. You've lost a stone--that's a lot of work.

    You should be doing this for yourself. Not your father.

    What's the point? The point is to be healthy. To live a long life, doing the things you want to do--not being sick. To be able to have children without the complications weight brings (if you want that). To buy the outfits you want to buy without worrying whether you'll have a muffin top, flabby arms, etc.

    This is about you. Not him.

    We all want to impress our parents. We all want their approval. But, eventually, we have to live our lives in the way that is best for us. Take their advice seriously, but if it doesn't work for you, you have to do what's right for you.
  • historygirldd
    historygirldd Posts: 209 Member
    Keep up the good work. You are doing well and the scale even shows it. I'm sorry about your dad. Sometimes the people we want most to approve of our weightloss are the hardest ones on us. Keep up the good work and remember, you can always find support here. So here is a hug and some flowers:flowerforyou: to make your day go better.
  • tweakz20
    tweakz20 Posts: 152 Member
    Personally, I'd piss in his coffee. Then you can laugh at him all the time too. That's ridiculous. Congrats on your progress and don't starve yourself just because your dad's being an *kitten*.
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    I know it works and I just don't see why he's being so mean, this is after I made the whole dinner and cleaned all his clothes. I feel so frustrated that I've made progress and I'm sticking with it and even worse this over a ****ing slice of cheese.

    If I had money I'd move back out again but I can't I have to live at home and deal with this every day.
  • reojames
    reojames Posts: 96
    Ouch! You really do need a hug. As a dad, I have made mistakes like your dad made yesterday, and I'm sorry you had to go through it. Parent's can be very hurtful! Mine were, at times. But be proud of your accomplishment! You've done a fantastic job and I bet you'll continue to do a great job. I don't even know you, but I'm proud of you!
  • opalescence
    opalescence Posts: 413 Member
    it really sucks when the food police are relatives, as long as you see that the restrictions he placed on you is absurd. Keep doing exactly as your doing and when you win in the end you can tell him to kiss your perfectly shaped round *kitten*

    :flowerforyou:
  • JessMySize
    JessMySize Posts: 130
    Cheer up, maybe your Dad not giving you support should be your motivation to say that you could do it. Prove him wrong. :)
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    O_o I'm sorry your family is so mean.

    You can't let it get to you. I wouldn't be doing anyone's laundry if they were that rude, though. Or I would 'accidentally' mix the reds and the whites. Whoops.

    Best of luck. Congrats on the loss so far.
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    You HAVE accomplished something, remember that.

    My family can be a bit like this. They want to restrict my eating, becuase I'm fat, but they eat as much of more. It's fine for them though, they're thinner. It's so hypocritical. How would your dad like it if you followed him around and demanded that he stick to your idea of how many calories he should have?
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
    Most people have no idea how to lose weight properly (and it looks like your Dad doesn't) but you are doing the right thing. I know it's hard but tune him out, you are doing great!
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    Thanks for all your support.

    My Mum came in afterwards and said that since there's actually been a result then I should stay with it.

    I'm going to keep on going *nods* and show him *nods further*
  • gitnfit2
    gitnfit2 Posts: 203 Member
    Wow normally I just read through and see what all is going on but have to say that was a rough one and kudos to you for sticking with the plan and venting here verses other ways that may cause more trouble and staying strong with your choices. It’s never an easy task to make ourselves to do the right things but you are and it will pay off. Sending a hug your way.....
  • STICKYFINGAHZ
    STICKYFINGAHZ Posts: 3
    Your Dad sounds like he has a lot of pride and he thinks you wont be able to do it. which is why even when you shown him your efforts/progress he just laughed and made a silly comment. Ignore the negative comments, they will do you no good. Don't give people the privledge of controlling your thoughts and emotions, they are yours. You choose to be happy. Happiness doesnt rain on you or happen to you, it is a state of mind. Stay Positive and keep it up.


    http://i622.photobucket.com/albums/tt308/420swimmah/Noteasybutworthit.jpg
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Oh hun, I'm sorry ((hugs))

    When I lived with my Mum, she wasn't all that supportive at times. Sometimes she was, and was overzelous in her compliments, but other times, she would jeapordise my success. Complain about me not making left over food (I weigh all of my food out, only cook what I need. Less chance of over-eating or wasting food). Throw it all in my face if I was having a cheat meal etc. It hurt more because I always had a bad relationship with her, and all I ever wanted was to be good enough, to make her proud, to show I was worth something.

    I digress.

    I understand, hun. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. He was out of order. I know it's not much, but WE'RE proud of you.

    <3
  • indygirl2012
    indygirl2012 Posts: 5
    Honey you take every bit of good advise and run with it! People like your father are only angry that they have not met certain goals or aspirations for themselves and taking it out on others (you). Do NOT let him get you down. Right now it sounds like you need to keep your distance from him. He thinks you are going to fail and he is going to try to make you fail!!! Don't let him! Sneak your mom into your room and tell her how you're doing if she'll listen. Let her be your ally, you will need one on this journey esp if you have someone that negative living that close to you!!! HUGS
  • cindys0417
    cindys0417 Posts: 1,279 Member
    ***Hugs*** Stay with it...sorry you have to put up with your DAD. Maybe someday you will be able to move out on your own ... If you want a piece of cheese...Just take it when he isn't around to embarrass you. Nobody should have to deal with that. He is not very supportive...Hang in there..You are doing great! :smile:
  • fabandfunat51
    fabandfunat51 Posts: 117 Member

    I'm just feeling so detested and pointless and ****. I thought had accomplished something but I obviously haven't. What's the point any more???

    Don't you EVER let another human being determine YOUR feelings. Whats the point? The point is you've lost weight (I have no idea how much a stone is!) and sometimes in life, you just have to be proud of you!

    You say you've accomplished nothing? How is losing weight and being excited about that NOTHING?

    Unfortunately, you cannot pick your family, however you have picked MFP as a means to take control of your health and you are doing GREAT!

    Keep it up and stand tall and smile big!

    HUGS!!!
  • Nigelfightingfit
    Nigelfightingfit Posts: 27 Member
    Hey have a hugi, a big one!

    They are free and always make you feel happy

    If other people dont understand or disrespect what you are doing, then dont let them have the power to make you unhappy, just be happy for yourself and find friends who really care

    Feel free to add me as a friend for support if you want

    Nigel
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
    Close your eyes, put your arms around yourself, think of the greatest hugger you know and squeeze. All of us here are very proud of you but I know from experience how hurtful Papa's words can be. If you gave yourself a squeeze for all of us who care, all you would get done for the rest of the evening is hugging yourself. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Is that enough? One can never get too many hugs.
  • jhigg11
    jhigg11 Posts: 121 Member
    Hey just want you to remember you are not doing it for anyone but yourself. I'm not sure why your dad is tearing you down, maybe he doesn't even realize. I take his response with 1200 calories no matter the exercise, just shows his lack of knowledge in this. So in reality he makes no sense at all. Don't engage in a battle, just remember you are in control, and it makes you feel good. Good luck!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Time to move out?
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
    big hugs hun, you stay motivated and keep working hard don't let anyone put you off family or otherwise, you are doing this for YOU!! for your health and your future and your happiness, you're doing a great job please don't put yourself down you should be proud of yourself!! :smile:
  • fatty_to_fitty
    fatty_to_fitty Posts: 544 Member
    You know in you heart it isn't true. Don't listen to him
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    Tell your father he is uneducated, and can not justify anything he says untill he becomes educated, and if not, to shut up.
  • comet_wow
    comet_wow Posts: 180 Member
    Sending big hugs your way.
    Just remember you're doing this for yourself not your dad.
    Best of luck :flowerforyou:
  • tberend
    tberend Posts: 91 Member
    *hugs*

    Sucks that your dad wasn't supporting you as he should. Somewhere in his mind he probably thinks he's doing the right thing for you and doesn't realize how wrong it all went. Just remember that you are doing great and really making a difference in yourself inside and out. You've got all the support you need here on MFP. Keep up the good work and prove to him that you're awesome!
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    People are just human, you can't control what they say to you but you can control how you react to it and whether you take it on board or just brush it off! Don't take it on, motivate yourself and prove people wrong about you! x

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