Unfriended for being too fat?

Everyone struggles with things in their own way. It's better to feel sad for people like that than to be angry at them. Feel free to friend me if you would like encouragement.

I have never even considered how much someone had to lose when I have asked to be or have been friended - strange. Hope you didn't let her get you down even for a second.

what a meany pants! i hope she reads your post and feels shamed by her discriminatory and judgemental choices. I have 39 pounds to loose and I am sending you a friend request right now!

i unfriend people all the time for not eating the way i do. if they're not active. if they have views i don't agree with, etc.

i don't see the big deal.

I can see unfriending people who aren't active, or have different views, etc. But because they've got more to lose than you do, that's childish. I can see unfriending someone who eats crappy and then has to work their tail off to burn those calories off because obviously, they're not taking this seriously. Or someone who thinks starvation mode is the way to go... I get that do. So I do have to ask (and hopefully you'll answer); What do you mean by "not eating the way I do?"

i do a ketogenic diet. it's hard to be friends with 'calorie counters'. they mean well, but sometimes their ideas on meals/snacks just aren't what i need. it's nothing personal! i just want friends with similar goals.

maybe your on the wrong site if you find it hard to be friends with calorie counters!

this is the exact attitude i mean.


i have plenty of great friends here, and i wouldn't trade them for the world.

good for you!

I notice on MFP that there is a distinction between those who have 20lbs or less to lose, the people in between, and then the obese people who have 100lbs or more to lose. I don't really give a crap anymore. I'm on here to lose weight, plan on losing it, and if you can't support that, leave me the hell alone.

I've noticed that too, especially the >20 and 100< groups. Then there are groups of maintainers... It is very sectional on MFP, which is odd considering that everyone's end goal is personal health and fitness!

When someone "friends" someone on message boards, the main reason is to feel better about themselves. The typical reason is for friendly support & motivation. The occasional people only know how to feel better about themselves is by downing others, implying they are not good enough. Reality is that anyone who "unfriends" you due to reasons like that is because they are the occasional person who doesn't know how to make herself feel better about herself unless she tells people that she is better. Just know the truth, which is that you are awesome and obviously, she will never have been a friendly support and motivator for you.

I am in the "Typical" category...I am on here for friendly support and motivation. I does not effect me how much weight you have to or want to lose. If you want friendly support and motivation and can also provide friendly support and motivation, then know that you are doing the right thing. I wouldn't even care if you ate big mac's all week long; if you are friendly and supportive of my goals, then a friend you are. Some people are having trouble with all sorts of issues, some may be that they are having trouble resisting unhealthy foods or breaking out of habits. Nothing that anyone can "say" is going to change anything...well except "I am here for you. Just let me know what you need." Just being supportive and not judgmental is what is going to make a person a good support. I get it that some people just don't want to be a support and only want someone to support them. I'm late and gotta run, but I am open to anyone who wants some friendly support and motivation. I can use the same thing. Oh, btw, I originially had 30 lbs to lose and now I only have 16 lbs to lose. I'll be supportive to anyone as long as they are friendly and supportive of me. No criticism please.

I received a friend request a few days ago along with a message from the person..I'm not including the whole message, but this was part of it
They say you lose more weight if you have friends to help motivate you. I liked your post and maybe we can motivate each other. I don't have much to say to people who have to lose 100 pounds or so because I have enough of a fear of being fat so that between 20 and 25 pounds is the limit that happens to me before I start back down.

I had accepted the request and replied to her that I was one of "those" people who needed to lose close to 100 lbs and how that came about. I was nice about it and today I realize she's unfriended me...really? I guess I'm fortunate I've made it this far in life without dealing with discrimination...but from someone that also needs to lose weight? All I can say is..wow.

Some people, due to media, and tv, live in mortal fear of being fat, and I'm convinced some think you can actually catch "fat" like you catch a cold if you're around fat people. Screw her.

I received a friend request a few days ago along with a message from the person..I'm not including the whole message, but this was part of it
They say you lose more weight if you have friends to help motivate you. I liked your post and maybe we can motivate each other. I don't have much to say to people who have to lose 100 pounds or so because I have enough of a fear of being fat so that between 20 and 25 pounds is the limit that happens to me before I start back down.

I had accepted the request and replied to her that I was one of "those" people who needed to lose close to 100 lbs and how that came about. I was nice about it and today I realize she's unfriended me...really? I guess I'm fortunate I've made it this far in life without dealing with discrimination...but from someone that also needs to lose weight? All I can say is..wow.

If you wish, I'll be your friend! And just for you: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;rct=j&amp;q=&amp;esrc=s&amp;source=web&amp;cd=1&amp;ved=0CGMQtwIwAA&amp;url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9jBx1u8-aQ&amp;ei=IDEQUN_zHIb28wTm-IHwBg&amp;usg=AFQjCNHyUJeGXJ4dluui7xHYkOo_NjZHAg&amp;sig2=afaIBiKsCDOHdtDeBHMYAg

:happy:

That is so rude of her!!! Feel free to add me...enjoy all of my MFP friends.
Marlys
MN

That is just plain stupid.

I can kind of understand if you are just trying to lose vanity weight like your BMI is "normal" but you want to take off 15-20 pounds maybe you would have a different attitude about diet and exercise then say someone with 100 or more to lose, but I guess for me the reality is that even the person with 200 pounds to lose will be down to that last 20 someday and while that original "friend" may be long gone because they reached their goal they might have shared some little nugget of wisdome along that way that could be helpful? I don't know I'm just trying to assume the "friend" communicated poorly rather than had some malicious intent but I suppose in the end what matters is there are enough other MFP members who will send requests and who will be supportive that you probably won't remember this in a few weeks.

I agree with this. ^ But that was pretty rude. Just keep in mind that it takes all kinds.. some people just dont have the social skills as others, and being blunt is the only way they know. My 15 y/o with aspergers is like that. She means NOTHING by what she says, but shes very honest with her feelings. Shes just telling you what she has the most in common with. I hope thats what it is anyway! Good luck!

You can add me. I don't care how much weight you have to lose. Heck my original goal was to lose 170lbs and I still have 55lbs to go.

I wouldn't worry too much about her. There are plenty of other people here to be supportive. She obviously has her own insecurites to work on....

PS I sent you a friend request. I have close to 100lb to lose as well.