How old is too old?

NotJustADieter

I'm 21 years old. I've started seeing a guy who I've known for years, before this in a friends-only context. He's substantially older than me. Without me telling how old he is, how old would you think would be too old for me?

cakebatter07

Only you can answer that question.

farmgirlrrt

.

Locked_On_Target

There's a saying I have heard a lot "Age is nothing but a number ". If you are having a good time, roll with it

ponycyndi

Old is too old. Ew. Old stuff is gross and old-y.

Alluminati

Old is when he has one foot in the grave.
Unless he has fat stacks. Then it's on like donkey kong.

moya_bleh

Are you both consenting adults? Then get it on!

DenDweller

I dunno. It depends. Exactly how big is his...



...bank account?

ThePhoenixIsRising

If you are questioning him being too old for you, you are too young for him!

Oxmarqt

How old is too old is an interesting question. As long as he is physically and mentally able to do all of the things you want to do then it shouldn't matter. Now on the flip side you need to be sure you are mentally able to do all of the things he may want to do.

Personal opinion would be anything over like 35. I am 43 and would not consider dating someone younger than 30 or older than say 50. Why? Can't see how we would have much in common.

The biggest thing is can you, and he, handle the "peer pressure" and judgement you may get from others?

meliebianco

To find out what the oldest age you should date is, take your current age, subtract 7, and multiply it by two. So that would make it 28.

Apparently this is the highest age you 'should' go up to. Personally I think as long as he's not old enough to be your parent (I think that is just uncomfortable and weird, personally), and you're both on a similar level mentally then it should be okay. I would think it would be weird for him though to date someone much younger. Idk. You would both be at such different stages of your lives.

NotJustADieter

He's 33. So if he were a very messed up 12 year old, he could technically be my parent. We're very similar, culturally and interest-wise, and have been very close for quite a while.

My main worry about it isn't me thinking he's too old for me- it's the reaction we will eventually get from our parents and families.

harlanJEN

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

If you are questioning him being too old for you, you are too young for him!

^^ this

ThePhoenixIsRising

NotJustADieter wrote: »

He's 33. So if he were a very messed up 12 year old, he could technically be my parent. We're very similar, culturally and interest-wise, and have been very close for quite a while.

My main worry about it isn't me thinking he's too old for me- it's the reaction we will eventually get from our parents and families.

The fact that you draw the "he could be my father" card makes me wonder......

If you are old enough to date him you are old enough to deal with people's reactions! This include your and his families.

Forty6and2

Honestly, if you're both adults, I don't think it should matter too much. If you were a teenager or a child, it would be a different story but you're not.

alyci

I am married to a man 13 years older than me and it works out well.
I have also been romantically involved with a man 22 years older than me and it was a very good relationship.

Others may always wonder but if you are happy and confident in your relationship you really shouldn't worry too much.

nehushtan

"An old man is a nasty thing." -- Ernest Hemingway, A Clean Well-Lighted Place

clb105

I think age shouldn't matter as long as you both are compatible, and willing to work together to make it work, etc. Keep in mind the aging process will catch up to him first and all the stuff that comes with it.

...however I married someone 11 years older, was fine at first, but it turned out to be a toxic relationship. So I dare to caution ...although that was in my case, and I am sure there are others out there that are making it work and are happy together.

EngineerPrincess

I'm 22, and sure it depends on your maturity, but there's some definite differences in lifestyle, goals, and life experiences you want to consider first. I'd say anyone who has had/ is looking to immediately start a family wouldn't be good because you won't be on the same page. Honestly I wouldn't date anyone older than 28 or so, regardless, because it's unlikely there would be a good power balance in the relationship right now.

Aviva92

kind of think that around early 30's is when some men look their best. He probably won't look so great anymore in 5 years or so.

EngineerPrincess

And yeah I'll echo: if you need to ask, chances are you're somehow doubting the relationship. At 33 he's likely looking to settle down. If you are, there's a chance it'll work. If it turns out later on you weren't ready to settle, things could get uglier than normal breakups, really quickly.

countscalories

When he's as old as me!

annette_15

Id say if hes old enough to b ur dad ur pushing it...lol

Fredbruin

Here’s the thing about getting married to an older person. It’s great when you’re in your 20s. 30s. 40’s and even 50’s. When you get to be over 60, look for some problems on the horizon. I have a friend who is 70 and married to a 55-year-old lady. He needs extra income and wants to do a reverse mortgage on his home, but he has to wait until she is 62 before he can do it. I know some guys who have younger wives and the wives are still working while their retired husbands are playing golf every day. The wives don’t like it.

NotJustADieter

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

NotJustADieter wrote: »

He's 33. So if he were a very messed up 12 year old, he could technically be my parent. We're very similar, culturally and interest-wise, and have been very close for quite a while.

My main worry about it isn't me thinking he's too old for me- it's the reaction we will eventually get from our parents and families.

The fact that you draw the "he could be my father" card makes me wonder......

If you are old enough to date him you are old enough to deal with people's reactions! This include your and his families.

I only mention it because an above poster asked if he was old enough to be my dad. I don't doubt the relationship at all- he's been a stalwart friend to me for years and means the world to me. I trust him above all other men and for someone with my history that's a big thing. I just worry that reactions will be less than positive.

Basilin

Don't worry about it. People can mind their own business. Cradle robber jokes are always fun, though.

I would've said if he were over 40 that would push it into the creepy zone to me.

I'm dating someone 14 years older that me, and not gonna lie, sometimes it is apparent and you might have to work though some differences in life experience. His mother made some snide remarks to me at first, and some friends/family were hesitant about it, but once they saw what a great relationship we have and how much we care about each other, no one bats an eyelash anymore.

christinazaia

old? r we talking dracula I think it all really depends on maturity level and needs...what u both want out of life...sometimes age matters...sometimes it doesn't

JazzFischer1989

27+, generally speaking, too old for you. I know some people like to say "age is just a number", and sometimes it's true, but most of the time, it really isn't. I think there's usually a discrepancy, one way or another.

Oldest man I'd ever seriously dated was someone who was 32 when I was 20 or 21 I think. And I've had random dates here and there with men 20-30 years my senior. I went through a little phase I guess. But I learned that I relate best to people closer to my age because we're generally on the same wavelength as far as where we are in life and our level of maturity.

JazzFischer1989

27+, generally speaking, too old for you. I know some people like to say "age is just a number", and sometimes it's true, but most of the time, it really isn't. I think there's usually a discrepancy, one way or another.

Oldest man I'd ever seriously dated was someone who was 32 when I was 20 or 21 I think. And I've had random dates here and there with men 20-30 years my senior (I'm 24 now). I went through a little phase I guess. But I learned that I relate best to people closer to my age because we're generally on the same wavelength as far as where we are in life and our level of maturity.

ThePhoenixIsRising

NotJustADieter wrote: »

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

NotJustADieter wrote: »

He's 33. So if he were a very messed up 12 year old, he could technically be my parent. We're very similar, culturally and interest-wise, and have been very close for quite a while.

My main worry about it isn't me thinking he's too old for me- it's the reaction we will eventually get from our parents and families.

The fact that you draw the "he could be my father" card makes me wonder......

If you are old enough to date him you are old enough to deal with people's reactions! This include your and his families.

I only mention it because an above poster asked if he was old enough to be my dad. I don't doubt the relationship at all- he's been a stalwart friend to me for years and means the world to me. I trust him above all other men and for someone with my history that's a big thing. I just worry that reactions will be less than positive.

Relationships have to weather rough waters. This one may have to do it because of age

The only thing I hope is that you are old enough to make your voice heard in the relationship. If he has been a friend a while, there was a time when you were a child and he was an adult. This can be troublesome because it can be easy to revert to those original rolls. I see no reason not to test the relationship if you are both truly wanting to, but I hope you are really ready for it.

50sFit

NotJustADieter wrote: »

I'm 21 years old. I've started seeing a guy who I've known for years, before this in a friends-only context. He's substantially older than me. Without me telling how old he is, how old would you think would be too old for me?

At age 21 I'd say a guy older than 32 is too old for you unless you're honestly attracted to him and do not have hang ups because you were sexually abused as a kid. It's a question only you can answer.
I've seen too many such relationships fail, because the younger one grows into another person while the old party does not.
As for me, I always questioned the motive of any significantly younger woman who expressed interest, and usually she did indeed have some hidden motive or secret agenda other than true love.