Mean people on MFP
hansolo420
Posts: 9 Member
Hi everyone. I posted in a forum on this site yesterday with some questions regarding eating habits. I received a private message from a very mean person saying very mean things that are not meant for a support site, or ever really. Is there anything I can do (besides blocking the user) so they cant do this to anyone else? This is supposed to be a supportive community. I am very disappointed.
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Replies
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Report them, if you felt it was abusive. Otherwise, no. And the "ignore" feature has been disabled I think. He sounds like a sad sack. Sorry that happened.0
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Definitely report him/her if the message was abusive.
But is it possible that it was just very blunt and maybe touched a nerve? I obviously don't know you, or the other member, but I think at least 80% of the " mean" comments on MFP are just blunt and are taken much more harshly than intended. A lot of the so called "mean people" on MFP have learned things the hard way, and gone on to great success. They can be passionate about trying to help others avoid their mistakes, but do have your best interest at heart.
Or maybe it was just a *kitten* who needs to be blocked and reported. Hard to say without seeing the comment.
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Take a deep breath, take a step back, make sure you're not being hangry or overly sensitive.
If, after a review period you are confident they are still being a douche, report block and move on.0 -
Thats awful! people have way too much time on their hands. I've noticed that some people can't wait to trash other people's success, however, most of the people here are supportive!0
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I dont comment too much on the various posts, but i do read a lot and try to get good insight and advice. I can empathize as I have read some nasty posts, and I can't tell if they were being blunt, well intended, or just being a mean jerk. I would recommend you do as has been suggested from the users above. it is too bad that those of us who come for support get treated like that.0
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There are a lot of emotionally insecure people on this site. A significantly amount of people here have had periods in their life of low self-esteem. Some of them take it out on other people on the site through sarcasm and asinine levels of rudeness.0
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Report them, if you felt it was abusive. Otherwise, no. And the "ignore" feature has been disabled I think. He sounds like a sad sack. Sorry that happened.
I haven't had to do this but how do you report a pm or user? I see where you can block them0 -
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I see some rude things on the threads, and some have said some pretty mean things to me too, but receiving it via private message really sucks. I agree with taking a moment and a breath, if the use continues to bother you, report them.0
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One thing that I have learned here (I have been on this site over 2-1/2 years and have lost 160+ pounds) is you have to develop a thick skin.
Most people are extremely supportive, but there are some that take delight in being less than nice.
If the person was extremely abusive, report him/her. Definitely block this person from your receiving personal messages.
Sorry this happened to you.0 -
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there are, like any place in the world that includes humans. people who are too mean. and people who are too nice and only tell you what you want to hear. and people who are somewhere in between those. take what you need and leave the rest.0
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sorry you had this experience, but i would say forget them, focus on us, the caring and supportive community, we all look out for each other, and you are now included! please add me as a pal, we can do this together...Catrina xxxx0
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Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.
OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.
Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.0 -
"Shake it off"
-Taylor Swift0 -
PrizePopple wrote: »
Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.
OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.
Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.PrizePopple wrote: »
Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.
OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.
Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.
Ahhh, I LOVE YOU.
I always, always get called 'mean' or a '*kitten*' for being blunt when it comes to fitness. If I feel like someone's giving excuses or risking their health for the sake of losing weight (Those <1,200 diets, I swear.), then I'll deliberately call them out. Otherwise, chances are that they'll be spinning their wheels in place and end up the same even after a few years.
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Name and shame, I always find this works with sneaky people who hide behind annonymity. Even snide remarks face to face, a loud response usually sends them scurrying off. Don't let the bxxxxxxs get you down.
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ascottishguy wrote: »
1. Directly naming would be against the rules
2. Those of us who have been around long enough and seen enough in the forums are raising eyebrows with skepticism at this since we know the players involved. It goes back to that mean vs. direct and how you as an individual interpret mean.
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QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »ascottishguy wrote: »
1. Directly naming would be against the rules
2. Those of us who have been around long enough and seen enough in the forums are raising eyebrows with skepticism at this since we know the players involved. It goes back to that mean vs. direct and how you as an individual interpret mean.
agreed …
people like to classify "mean" as not being 100% supportive when someone wants to do a seven day water fast or some other disastrous idea…
or - heavens forbid - someone tells someone they don't need low carb and can accomplish their goals with calorie deficit and working out...0 -
I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.0
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I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.
Yup, we actually get some pretty memorable trolls here on occasion, but everyone learns who they are pretty quickly. Most of the rest is just name calling and snarking between people who just don't like each other.0 -
I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.
The new boards opened the floodgates. Previously banned posters are not currently banned. (I like it, it keeps the boards interesting. Anyone really nasty will get re-banned.)0 -
I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.
The new boards opened the floodgates. Previously banned posters are not currently banned. (I like it, it keeps the boards interesting. Anyone really nasty will get re-banned.)
Some of those previously banned users got banned for having a low tolerance for stupid.... which I can sympathize with.
A person on my FL months back got her third strike for telling someone that if they were so concerned about eating ingredients they couldn't pronounce then maybe they should take a chemistry or latin class and learn to pronounce them, because eating them wasn't hurting them any (I'm seriously paraphrasing here but you get the idea).
Was it blunt... yes
Was it true... yes
Should she have gotten the ban hammer for it? Not my call obviously.
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QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.
The new boards opened the floodgates. Previously banned posters are not currently banned. (I like it, it keeps the boards interesting. Anyone really nasty will get re-banned.)
Some of those previously banned users got banned for having a low tolerance for stupid.... which I can sympathize with.
A person on my FL months back got her third strike for telling someone that if they were so concerned about eating ingredients they couldn't pronounce then maybe they should take a chemistry or latin class and learn to pronounce them, because eating them wasn't hurting them any (I'm seriously paraphrasing here but you get the idea).
Was it blunt... yes
Was it true... yes
Should she have gotten the ban hammer for it? Not my call obviously.
that is how I got banned…being too blunt…
I said something about special snowflakes (not directed at anyone in particular) and boom, strike three….
that sucks your friend got a strike for that ….
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QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.
The new boards opened the floodgates. Previously banned posters are not currently banned. (I like it, it keeps the boards interesting. Anyone really nasty will get re-banned.)
Some of those previously banned users got banned for having a low tolerance for stupid.... which I can sympathize with.
A person on my FL months back got her third strike for telling someone that if they were so concerned about eating ingredients they couldn't pronounce then maybe they should take a chemistry or latin class and learn to pronounce them, because eating them wasn't hurting them any (I'm seriously paraphrasing here but you get the idea).
Was it blunt... yes
Was it true... yes
Should she have gotten the ban hammer for it? Not my call obviously.
Well, that's what I meant when I said I'm glad they're back. Some people that were banned deserved it, and I'm guessing some may have not been as deserving. (I have someone on my FL who was banned, and while she disagreed with a lot of others, I never saw her post anything harmful, just unpopular.)0 -
What's always amusing to me is what does and does not get strikes or now flags. In the previous system I had a warning and no strikes and the warning was for posting a thread that I thought was hysterical but I knew when I posted it I would get dinged for it, I did it anyways, because it was funny. But I never got in trouble for my responses to other users in the forums.
With the new system I have ONE flag, and that was from a user (probably somebody in this thread) and they did it as a joke because I was being silly complaining about the fact that I didn't have any flags and everyone else did....
Now, I'm usually pretty blunt. I've gotten in to plenty of arguments with people on here when I disagree with what they have to say and have no problem taking someone to task if I think the advise they are giving someone is bad or wrong. I could have easily made the same comment my friend did but probably wouldn't have even gotten a warning for it....
It's just funny how different people's perception of what constitutes mean can be. I think I'm fairly blunt and often snarky, but clearly something about the way I present my opinions doesn't ruffle feathers quite as much as some other people. Maybe I should try harder.....
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I love that we can see the flags now, for the entertainment value. I may have flag-baited my flag.
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QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »What's always amusing to me is what does and does not get strikes or now flags. In the previous system I had a warning and no strikes and the warning was for posting a thread that I thought was hysterical but I knew when I posted it I would get dinged for it, I did it anyways, because it was funny. But I never got in trouble for my responses to other users in the forums.
With the new system I have ONE flag, and that was from a user (probably somebody in this thread) and they did it as a joke because I was being silly complaining about the fact that I didn't have any flags and everyone else did....
Now, I'm usually pretty blunt. I've gotten in to plenty of arguments with people on here when I disagree with what they have to say and have no problem taking someone to task if I think the advise they are giving someone is bad or wrong. I could have easily made the same comment my friend did but probably wouldn't have even gotten a warning for it....
It's just funny how different people's perception of what constitutes mean can be. I think I'm fairly blunt and often snarky, but clearly something about the way I present my opinions doesn't ruffle feathers quite as much as some other people. Maybe I should try harder.....
if you get three flags do you get banned? i am clueless as to the new rules...0 -
QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »What's always amusing to me is what does and does not get strikes or now flags. In the previous system I had a warning and no strikes and the warning was for posting a thread that I thought was hysterical but I knew when I posted it I would get dinged for it, I did it anyways, because it was funny. But I never got in trouble for my responses to other users in the forums.
With the new system I have ONE flag, and that was from a user (probably somebody in this thread) and they did it as a joke because I was being silly complaining about the fact that I didn't have any flags and everyone else did....
Now, I'm usually pretty blunt. I've gotten in to plenty of arguments with people on here when I disagree with what they have to say and have no problem taking someone to task if I think the advise they are giving someone is bad or wrong. I could have easily made the same comment my friend did but probably wouldn't have even gotten a warning for it....
It's just funny how different people's perception of what constitutes mean can be. I think I'm fairly blunt and often snarky, but clearly something about the way I present my opinions doesn't ruffle feathers quite as much as some other people. Maybe I should try harder.....
if you get three flags do you get banned? i am clueless as to the new rules...
No, right now it's still based on the old rules, mods have to agree with the complaint to issue a warning or strike. It looked like warnings and strikes are now the same thing though.0 -
QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »What's always amusing to me is what does and does not get strikes or now flags. In the previous system I had a warning and no strikes and the warning was for posting a thread that I thought was hysterical but I knew when I posted it I would get dinged for it, I did it anyways, because it was funny. But I never got in trouble for my responses to other users in the forums.
With the new system I have ONE flag, and that was from a user (probably somebody in this thread) and they did it as a joke because I was being silly complaining about the fact that I didn't have any flags and everyone else did....
Now, I'm usually pretty blunt. I've gotten in to plenty of arguments with people on here when I disagree with what they have to say and have no problem taking someone to task if I think the advise they are giving someone is bad or wrong. I could have easily made the same comment my friend did but probably wouldn't have even gotten a warning for it....
It's just funny how different people's perception of what constitutes mean can be. I think I'm fairly blunt and often snarky, but clearly something about the way I present my opinions doesn't ruffle feathers quite as much as some other people. Maybe I should try harder.....
if you get three flags do you get banned? i am clueless as to the new rules...
No, right now it's still based on the old rules, mods have to agree with the complaint to issue a warning or strike. It looked like warnings and strikes are now the same thing though.
so a flag is neither a warning or a strike?0
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