Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

dixiewhiskey

I never used one, even with my oldest who is diagnosed with Autism (and has been known to try and wander off).. we have one just in case but we haven't had to use it. I think whatever keeps your children safe, DO IT. It doesn't matter what joe blow thinks of your parenting but what matters is that your child is safe.

Every child is unique.. comparing yourself to your child does no good for your children or for anyone else IMO. Do what you have to do.

dixiewhiskey

Some of these posts about kids being "runners" annoy me. I was a runner. Once. One time. After the spanking I got I made sure to never, ever, let go of my moms hand again. I'm not advocating spanking, heck, I don't even believe in it most of the time, but my question is how are these parents enforcing hand holding and staying close? This wasn't really an issue when I was a kid.

I remember going on family vacation with my extended family and friends when I was about 5. One of the boys (5 or 6) wandered off and when his parents found him they bought one of those backpack leash things and put it on him as punishment. That's how they were viewed in my circle, as a joke or punishment. Something had to be wrong with you if you need one of those. I know times have changed, and to each his own, but I know I wouldn't be able to use one of those on my kid. I would view it as a demeaning punishment and a failure on my part as a parent. *** I AM NOT SAYING THOSE WHO USE THEM ARE FAILURES OR ARE BAD PARENTS. That's just my 2 cents and personal point of view.

Your post annoys me. Do you even have kids? :laugh:

laurynwithawhy

Some of these posts about kids being "runners" annoy me. I was a runner. Once. One time. After the spanking I got I made sure to never, ever, let go of my moms hand again. I'm not advocating spanking, heck, I don't even believe in it most of the time, but my question is how are these parents enforcing hand holding and staying close? This wasn't really an issue when I was a kid.

I remember going on family vacation with my extended family and friends when I was about 5. One of the boys (5 or 6) wandered off and when his parents found him they bought one of those backpack leash things and put it on him as punishment. That's how they were viewed in my circle, as a joke or punishment. Something had to be wrong with you if you need one of those. I know times have changed, and to each his own, but I know I wouldn't be able to use one of those on my kid. I would view it as a demeaning punishment and a failure on my part as a parent. *** I AM NOT SAYING THOSE WHO USE THEM ARE FAILURES OR ARE BAD PARENTS. That's just my 2 cents and personal point of view.

You had a well worded non confrontational post. I just wanted to share a bit about my son who was a "runner". He is an incredibly independent boy. Holding hands would cause a melt down. Full on screaming. falling to the ground melt down. Consistent time outs did not work, spanking did not work, removal of toys did not work, rewarding good behavior did not work. We were at our wits end. Again, this is my child who could unbuckle and escape strollers, car seats, etc. We were all miserable. I bought the "monkey leash" and he loved it. It allowed him to feel as though he had some freedom and independence while I felt I had some control over his safety. And even when he was on the lead, I still watched him. It gave us all our sanity back. My first son would hold my hand and stick close, but he had some sensory issues that would require my attention to be focused on him and it was a relief to know while I helped boy #1, boy #2 was within reach. It was a definite bonus that boy#2 loved the harness and was so well behaved with it.

Thanks for sharing your story. I can see how, especially with more than one child, it could be helpful. I'm glad you found something that worked for you so you could enjoy your time out with your sons.

laurynwithawhy

Some of these posts about kids being "runners" annoy me. I was a runner. Once. One time. After the spanking I got I made sure to never, ever, let go of my moms hand again. I'm not advocating spanking, heck, I don't even believe in it most of the time, but my question is how are these parents enforcing hand holding and staying close? This wasn't really an issue when I was a kid.

I remember going on family vacation with my extended family and friends when I was about 5. One of the boys (5 or 6) wandered off and when his parents found him they bought one of those backpack leash things and put it on him as punishment. That's how they were viewed in my circle, as a joke or punishment. Something had to be wrong with you if you need one of those. I know times have changed, and to each his own, but I know I wouldn't be able to use one of those on my kid. I would view it as a demeaning punishment and a failure on my part as a parent. *** I AM NOT SAYING THOSE WHO USE THEM ARE FAILURES OR ARE BAD PARENTS. That's just my 2 cents and personal point of view.

If you were old enough to remember the spanking you got from running off, you were probably a few years older than most of the kids parents are referencing in this thread that they are using reins for. I can see how using a rein at age 5 might be seen as a punishment, most 5 year olds can retain basic rules and he didn't just bolt like a toddler does, he wandered off according to your post. There's a big difference developmentally between a 1-4 year old and a 5-7 year old and a big difference between a 1-4 year old bolting or wandering and a 5-7 year old wandering off.

Toddlers - ages 1-4 - don't get danger, especially at the younger age range. They want to run and see whatever, and they bolt - in like the time it takes you to switch the hand you are holding, they have like a 3 second attention span. If you have other kids, you're probably also carrying at least 1 diaper bag, pushing a stroller and/or holding another child - it's impossible to react fast enough to grab your 2 year old from running in front of a car or disappearing into a crowd. My son was running at 10 months old. He refused to be carried as soon as he could crawl. Of course I taught him not to take off and appropriately addressed his behavior when he did but toddlers just don't retain things like an older 4 year old or 5 year old does. The majority of time I used a rein it was more about keeping him from getting separated in large crowds - some adults don't watch where they're walking and have literally walked right into my son's and my arms as we were holding hands knocking him over or separating him from me - or if we were walking near traffic, not kid friendly places like the park. Most parents realize it only takes 2 seconds for a small child to disappear or get seriously hurt because toddlers (the age the OP and most posters are referring to) don't get that cars are in the street and will hit them if they run in front of one or that mommy and daddy don't magically come with them everywhere when they run off to see whatever while mommy is cleaning up baby sister's spit up. It's not about punishment or failure, it's about realizing it's impossible to watch your kid every single second, knowing your own child's personality and limitations and keeping them safe in an effective way until they are old enough to think a little bit before they act.

It's true, most of these kids are a little bit younger, and of course developmentally there are going to be differences. I could see how crowds would pose a big threat too. I can't imagine the panic of losing your child in a crowded/strange place (I live in a small town). Thanks for the insight.

rmich222

I never have used one and for some reason I just don't like it at all.
I have 4 small kids.. i hold their hands when in the street or near.. if they bolt, I pick them up. I am much MUCH faster than them

thcri

eta: BTW, I have 2 children. I strive to be a MILF :bigsmile:

Well don't take this wrong but from the pictures I think you are doing just fine. :blushing:

thcri

And whatever you do, do NOT google MILF while at work.

dang it. You just had to say it didn't you? :laugh: