Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm
Replies
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its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior.
I can't believe you just made that last statement after knowing the child has autism. Discipline does not cure autism. Surely as a PA, you'd know this.0 -
I am the mother of 2 amazing boys with autism and both of them have had tantrums and behaved like that while having there hair cut. Sadly I am no stranger to this form of treatment. I once took my children to get my hair cut because I had no child care and was told my children were the worst behaved children she had ever met, when I explained they have autism she said I should keep them locked up at home if they cant behave in a civilised manner. I told her my boys were entitled to go out as much as she was and they had an excuse for their behaviour what was hers for being rude. My hairdresser backed me up 100% and said if she didn,t be quiet she could no longer cut her hair. I have learned to ignore it I take the boys wherever i please sometimes I can,t wait to get home but i won,t let it keep me in the house.0
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upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
She could have still acted like a professional at her own place of business regardless of the situation. Yelling at your customers is not professional.0 -
i thought the spa was a place to send mom and dad to get away from screaming kids....
Dude......So you hate kids, we get it! Enough already.
I LOVE kids. We all need to get away from them. The spa is a place to do that. Don't hate on someone you don't know because of the accepted atmosphere of a spa.0 -
A salon is a place for adults to relax, not a place to bring a child.0
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And I'm glad that you were there. Being someone that has supposedly worked with autistic people, you should support the mother who it happened to. You should know from experience what it's like. I have 2 autistic cousin's and they have gone to nice places without any problems and with throwing fits and NOBODY ever said ANYTHING to them because they could see that they were autistic. It's call RESPECT and some people are just so low that they don't have any.
its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior. you keep skipping over that fact that you dont even know which autism the kid has.
title of story, Loud kid make spa owner upset.
I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.0 -
We're hearing one side of the story.
Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.
Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?
I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.
If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
This was more like the final straw
Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
Actually if you look on TripAdvisor you'll see that all of the reviews prior to this incident (which has sparked a slew of false reviews based on this story) were positive.
Try Yelp, they have a lot of the new ones that have come from this but they also have negative ones dating back to 2011. There's not a single positive review on there that I saw and I think I saw them all.0 -
where is the like and dislike button on here some of these i really like0
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I looked up the website for M spa and there is no where on there that says the spa has children's pricing anywhere so I do not see why they would even book a child in for a hair cut. One can clearly see it is a Spa meant for adults and not something for children. I personally would have been choked if I was there for spa or hair treatment and had to listen to a small child freaking out because of a hair cut. Autism or not - you cannot see that a child is autistic and perhaps the owner had a complaint?
The way she handled the situation lacks tact, it looks poorly on her, she very well could have come out and quietly dealt with the situation rather than making a spectacle of it. It is horrible that a woman was treated poorly but as a customer who would be paying good money at a place I would be pretty unhappy to have to hear that - even if the music was louder I generally go to the spa to relax and having a child crying is not relaxing in the least.
I also have to question the mother - why would you take a child to a spa for their first hair cut - especially a child with special needs? There are places that are just for kids cuts they would be better equipped to help calm the child sometimes haircuts are scary for small children. Hell sometimes haircuts are scary for me and I am an adult woman with a hair dresser for a mother.0 -
its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior.
I can't believe you just made that last statement after knowing the child has autism. Discipline does not cure autism. Surely as a PA, you'd know this.
where did i say discipline? and you dont know what spectrum of autism the child has.. stop playing what if and stick to facts. owner didnt say **** about autism, only complained about behavior.0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
I am wondering what kind of spa it was... at the spas I go to where I spend over $100 it's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere and I don't know why anyone would bring kids. I would be mad if I spent $100 to have someone bring their kid, autistic or not, just so I can hear crying during my manicure.
Although if it is a place that offers kids haircuts, then crying kids could be expected.
Also don't see what being autistic has to do with it. Sounds like she didn't know he was autistic before she yelled, so she wasn't yelling at him for being autistic, and children without autism cry all the time during haircuts anyway.
very good points.. and everyone here is being way too anally PC about a point that didnt matter. The owner didnt say get that special kid outta here. the owner was mad the kid was being too loud and the parent failed to control it.
plain and simple. yet you "sick" people wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill.
parent should take the kid to super cuts, not a upscale spa.
1. There are no rules that children are not allowed
2. The woman had been a client there for 2years and her son getting his hair cut there for the past year - the owner knew he was autistic
3. The status was written by a bystander who said he wasn't even being that loud
4. This owner has had made a reputation for herself over the past 5 years due to how poorly she treats clients. Her employees are what keeps her in business
5. A friend of mine has worked there for 5years - she resigned today because that incident was the final straw
1. silence is the golden rule of the spa
2. there is a broad spectrum of autism, we dont know if the kid had Rett syndrome, PDD-NOS, Asperger's and childhood disintegrative disorder. so we dont know if she was able to tell he was autistic by looks, or if the owner knew outright the info,since this was stated as newly being diagnosed. Also, she never said anything about the kids condition, just his behavior in her place of business.
3. its a spa, see golden rule number 1
4. its her business. her money, her life. if she made it past 1 year, she is doing it right.
5. in this economy, im sure the business owner had 40 applications to fill that one new paying seat
Dude, you got boxed up and now you just come off looking like an idiot. Her business, her money, her life....apparently her business accepts appointments to cut kids hair.0 -
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I think the salon owner acted in a way that makes me embarrassed for her.
That being said, I think the mother should have had her son in mind when chooing a place to get his hair cut. I have always taken my kids to a place that specialized in kids hair cuts like Mop Tops. They get to sit on a animal or airplane chair, get their hair washed with banana or chocolate shampoo, choose a movie to watch and walk away with a balloon. The people working there have experience with kids and know how to calm them in that situation. It is easier on everyone involved.
I'm not saying the mom deserved the lashing but she could have avoided it had she thought about her son.0 -
I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.
knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?0 -
Ok...I'll give you my story on a similar incident.
My son's first haircut, he was about 1 I guess, it was traumatic for him and he wasn't happy. He was crying loudly....the hairdresser who still does his cuts to this day (he's 16 now) was being as cordial as she could and trying to be as gentle as possible.
A lady who was there said "Get him under control" in a snarky tone. My wife says to the woman, "it's his first haircut, he's scared".
The woman says, "I don't care, I don't come here to listen to whiny brats". This is a family haircuttery...lots of kids...and most people understand that it can be a scary thing to a young kid. Anyhow, the owner of the place comes out and says to the woman, "Calm down, he's a baby." The woman says...."I just don't think I can come here again if this is how it is going to be". The owner says, sorry ma'am, your haircut is free, you can leave". The woman was about 1/4 way through her haircut with her hair pulled through some hood or something. They stopped her cut right there and she was escorted out.
My wife started to tear up a little, and the owner said to her..."It's not your fault, some people think they are the only people in the world". We have never gotten a haircut anywhere else, ever.
Where is the "LOVE IT" button on mfp?!?? Excellent. The owner "did the right thing" by not charging the hair cut and showing the woman to a quieter place....her vehicle. YAY0 -
We're hearing one side of the story.
Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.
Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?
I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.
If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
This was more like the final straw
Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
So basically you are surprised that this owner acted poorly even though she has had a history of bad behavior for the past FIVE years?? This really has nothing to do with the child being autistic. It has to do with the owner. Sounds like people reinforce her bad behavior by going there any way.0 -
A lot of people on here act like autistic children/people don't deserve to go where other people go...that is SOOO wrong!! If the mother is paying the money, and she has been a client there and they know how the child is, there should've been no issue!! I hope that woman's business sinks!!
We know this because a random person on the internet told us? Let's hear some reliable facts before we start the Witch Hunts, as NinerBuff said. This post is full of righteous Indignation.
It doesn't matter, autistic people have just as much of a right as anybody else!!
More rights than the other people at the spa?
Believe me, I'm all for equal rights and have worked with autistic kids, but the onus is on the caretaker to make sure that they take the child to appropriate places where their behavior won't cause as much of a disturbance.
It seems like the only person it disturbed was the owner..
Says one person from the other side of the spa?
And I'm glad that you were there. Being someone that has supposedly worked with autistic people, you should support the mother who it happened to. You should know from experience what it's like. I have 2 autistic cousin's and they have gone to nice places without any problems and with throwing fits and NOBODY ever said ANYTHING to them because they could see that they were autistic. It's call RESPECT and some people are just so low that they don't have any.
Just saying we can't judge the situation based on someone's Facebook status.
See they're autistic? Really not that easy - I have 2 cousins and you can't 'see it'
Sorry, it's on the caretaker to bring their child to a safe place during a potentially traumatic event.
Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!0 -
Lots of businesses get bad reviews and complaints. If were that bad, then the business should have closed 4 years ago. Not saying that the owner is right, just saying that reviews and complaints are subjective sometimes.Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
Bystanders can see things differently. Not all bystanders see things the same.It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
Certainly within her right. People shouldn't stay if they aren't comfortable in their work environment.The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
This was more like the final straw.
So did the owner tongue lash the mother every time he came? And if the mother accepted it each time, then why come back? Something doesn't sound right here.Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Dude, you got boxed up and now you just come off looking like an idiot. Her business, her money, her life....apparently her business accepts appointments to cut kids hair.
answer you with this....I looked up the website for M spa and there is no where on there that says the spa has children's pricing anywhere so I do not see why they would even book a child in for a hair cut. One can clearly see it is a Spa meant for adults and not something for children. I personally would have been choked if I was there for spa or hair treatment and had to listen to a small child freaking out because of a hair cut. Autism or not - you cannot see that a child is autistic and perhaps the owner had a complaint?0 -
We've all been annoyed by crying children. In grocery stores, restaurants, and yes, even upscale salons. Unlike the first 2 types of businesses, you cannot walk out in the middle of getting a haircut.
There's usually a quiet corner or a break room if a child (or out of control client--it happens) gets too feisty.
The owner of the "spa" (salon is more like it) completely mishandled this. She should have discreetly offered her office (or break room) for the haircut. Completely humiliating the mother was out of bounds. And possibly actionable.
And for those of you up in arms over a child's (i don't care if the kid's autistic or not.) crying. Is it annoying? Yes. Now get over it. Noise happens. Once you leave the house, all bets are off. The world does not exist solely for your convenience or comfort. Yes, it would be nice if all was quiet, but life doesn't always go that way.0 -
Someone said "upscale spa, her business, her rules. don't bring the kids". She didn't bring the child just to sit in there while she was getting a manicure or whatever. The place gave children haircuts, she took him for a haircut.0
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upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
This was the first thing that came to your mind after reading the story?0 -
Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!
Exactly. You have experience and would recognize it. Not everyone has been or does have experience. You can't expect everyone to know and recognize every disability, especially something like autism that has such a wide spectrum.
Why did I picture a pouty child when you said "Yes, you can..." Hahaha0 -
The owner of this Spa deserves everything she gets, if she knew the mother and knew the boy had autism she could have went over quietly and let the mom know her son was being a little loud and if she could get hm to calm down a bit rather than screaming at her and making a scene. I worked in an upscale salon and spa and we had kid's haircuts offered, some kids cried some yelled others were perfectly quiet. If anyone was disruptive my boss would quietly pull the parent aside and offer a candy or toy to quiet the kid down nicely.
Having a brother with autism I see this kind of behavior way too much and more often than not it is from someone who knows Peter and is aware that he has autism. Its almost like people expect them to be disruptive and loud and get aggravated instantly. Hopefully the child is okay and wont remember and the mom is okay as well.0 -
We're hearing one side of the story.
Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.
Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?
I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.
If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
This was more like the final straw
Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
Actually if you look on TripAdvisor you'll see that all of the reviews prior to this incident (which has sparked a slew of false reviews based on this story) were positive.
Try Yelp, they have a lot of the new ones that have come from this but they also have negative ones dating back to 2011. There's not a single positive review on there that I saw and I think I saw them all.
Yelp = 14 reviews (1 positive recent review, 1 negative review from 2011, and 12 negative reviews referencing this FB post)
Trip Advisor = 14 reviews (10 4-5 star reviews since 2012 and 4 negative 1 star reviews referencing this FB post)0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
I am on the fence about this, agree and disagree...but either way it doesn't make the actions of the owner appropriate or considerate or justified. Either way, my thoughts are definitely with the mother and child.
However - big kudos to the stylist who no matter the circumstance completed the job outside! That shows some true character and compassion in my book.
P.S. I hope this is true...the story...I hate it when these things are made up. We read it on the internet, so it must be true, right?0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
This was the first thing that came to your mind after reading the story?
yes. the owner said nothing to the mother about autism. it was all about behavior. just like she would have done if a normal kid acted up in her spa.
a spa is for relaxation.. not for screaming kids.0 -
My son is autistic with Sensory Integration Disorder.
He is extremely sensitive to getting his haircut along with many other external stimulators.
He cannot process them like most kids and it upsets him greatly.
Having a child with special needs is ostracizing enough without incidents like this.
A little public education would go a long way.0 -
Seems to me like the owner of the spa had a bigger "tantrum" than the poor child had. Perhaps it was SHE who should have had a time out.0
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I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.
knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?
If I had always gone there and liked the haircuts and liked the place, then yes I would. If the cut was worth the money, you can bet that I would take him!! Kids are everywhere in this world, my kids act up in the grocery store, even when I tell them to be good when we go in. Kids will be kids and you NEVER know what will happen, from one minute to the next. If you were a parent, then you MIGHT understand!! I can't stand when people without kids go judging those of us with kids!!0
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