Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

wineplease

i get that. i am sorry he is made fun of. If I ever found out MY kid had the audacity to make fun of someone, his life would be very miserable.

Thank you.

Lisa1971

So the world should accomidate every one with special needs? I am not saying the treatment was not horrible, it was but be realistice here. The truth is the world CANT acoomidate every autistic/hyper active/add/adhd child. Sometimes their behaviour is unnacceptable and out of place. Cold hard truth. Any good parent of a special needs kid knows exactly when and where they can bring their kids AND they know the triggers that can cause an issue with their kids and can seperate their kids from the anxiety/stimulation. Truth be told my son has one friend with adhd and hyper activity he came to my house once, never again. He broke everything on purpose, got into stuff, harrassed my cat, ran around like a banshee and did not respect my most basic rules. No matter how nicely I asked him. When I did ask him he got with in inches of my face and screamed at me. When I told his mother she acted all huffy and like I just needed to deal with it becuase he has all these needs. Truth be told she never should have brought him over and left him there, I felt had she stayed it would have been much better becuase she would know the tatics to control him. Instead she dumped him off with me, did not even come in to say hello, and expected me t be accomidating to her special needs kid, whom I did not know was special needs. Needless to say he is not welcome back in my house, not because of his issues but because of his mother. To many parents expect people to accomidate their childeren whan that is not a reality. Sad but true. One thing i do know is that GOOD parents accomidate their childeren and account for the needs and behaviours.

If the world can accommodate your lifelong inability to spell (without even taking into consideration your inability to correctly use grammar or punctuation), then I don't see why the world can't briefly accommodate a screaming, scared child getting a haircut.

:flowerforyou: :drinker:

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aimforhealthy

I am hearing a common theme that autistic kids dont like hair cuts.....why not let them have long hair? Not trying to be a douche but with all the issues that come with autism just let that **** grown and put it in a pony tail?

I had the same thought with my brother when he kept throwing tantrums with haircuts. One thing that people don't think of is that the child may start to get used to the hair cut process and while they may still not like it they handle it better with time. Not speaking for everyone with autism but my brother managed to get used to it and while he still gets upset he doesn't freak out anymore. Also some people with autism are not very good at showering themselves so the long hair may become an issue down the line if they can't keep it clean.

Exactly this. Kids with autism often have sensory issues and fine motor issues that prevent them from having the world's best hygiene. After a certain age, they don't want you to bathe them anymore (and you don't want to either).

My son is 16 and has autism and he's always hated haircuts. But yes, at 16, he is now used to them and I insist he keeps his hair short because when he doesn't, no matter how much we go over how to properly wash it, say, in the sink or whatever, he doesn't do it right and it becomes a greasy gross mess. Or worse, it's just greasy and gross in the back because he only knows to wash the front part and feels uncomfortable washing the back part. At least when it's short, you don't notice so much.

wineplease

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Joocey

If the world can accommodate your lifelong inability to spell (without even taking into consideration your inability to correctly use grammar or punctuation), then I don't see why the world can't briefly accommodate a screaming, scared child getting a haircut.

The world CAN. But we, the world, are accommodating YOU. We are doing you a FAVOR.

You aren't entitled to anything. You don't deserve accommodations. You don't get to complain if we decide not to accommodate you.

...at least, you shouldn't. But seeing as how you've chosen to take potshots at someone's ability to spell in a post, I'll assume you believe that you are somehow doing the rest of us a favor when we accommodate you.

Joocey

They are public places and you can't stop kids from going somewhere. And trust me, my kids get in trouble... You are clearly a *kitten*. Did your parents hold you in your house all the time? If they did, then I feel sorry for you. People can't predict how their kids are going to react to something or behave. If you had kids, you would understand.

Parents can't predict or parents shouldn't try to predict? Which is it?

KatLifter

No, my parents took me lots of places, but my dad made me mind and act like a human instead of a wild animal. Thanks for the name calling though, it shows what an intelligent human being and great parent you are.

Yeah, the same person was throwing insults at me earlier too. That's just how some people communicate...

moosegt35

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Joocey

If I had always gone there and liked the haircuts and liked the place, then yes I would. If the cut was worth the money, you can bet that I would take him!! Kids are everywhere in this world, my kids act up in the grocery store, even when I tell them to be good when we go in. Kids will be kids and you NEVER know what will happen, from one minute to the next. If you were a parent, then you MIGHT understand!! I can't stand when people without kids go judging those of us with kids!!

This is a laudable attitude.

"I know my kids scream during haircuts, but I don't care! I'll take them wherever I want! I don't care if they scream and bother others! I don't care if my kids act up at the grocery store! I never know what they do so everyone else just has to put up with it!"

/slowclap

bearkisses

how terrible....i find all children annoying, but would never ever yell at the parents. So not my place!

k8blujay2

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Wow!! Gonna guess that either A) You don't have kids or if so, then your kids are robots.

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KatLifter

I'm out of popcorn so I brought you bacon covered fries,

BeachIron

Edit: this thread is well on its way to derailing. No need to chime in.

jasmineconley

The original writer is a friend of my friend and it's crazy how this took off. It's good though the owner has been bullying mothers with small children for a while now

bearkisses

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

this is a really sick unempathetic attitude. That little boy deserved a haircut, at a salon, despite his behaviours, as much as any child! Parents also deserve to be able to go out and bring their children out!!

I hear you, kids are annoying like crazy. The other day some kids that were playing outside of the building were trying to get back into the building w/o their parents but didnt have keys. My partner and I both looked the other way because we didn't want the responsibility if they ended up screaming or doing some stupid child thing.

As annoyed with kids as I may be, they deserve the same rights that anyone else does.

aimforhealthy

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Kids aren't meant to be "controlled." They're people with free will like anyone else. You do your best, especially as a person alone with a special needs kid.

I became the single mother of a child with autism when I was 21 years old. My son tantrumed constantly, and I do mean all day every day, for years. I had to do things like go to doctor's appointments, do groceries, get the car fixed and buy clothes for him and myself and other things ALL BY MYSELF with him in tow, because of course no one ever wanted to watch him and no one ever wanted to go anywhere with me because who wants to be around that? So I stopped being able to go to work, to church, to ANYWHERE, because no one wanted him in their daycares, no one wanted to babysit, nothing. It was all on me.

It wasn't ever a matter of discipline, it was a matter of having a child who could not understand what was expected of him and could not speak or communicate at all except by shrieking, who didn't get enough sleep, and who was sent into a sensory meltdown at even minor smells and sounds, and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT. But you have to leave your house sometimes. So you learn to not give a damn that morons who have the luxury of thinking only about themselves and the short-term will get irate that you had to leave your house with a child who screams all the time. What else is there to do?

vdobbs28

People without kids will NEVER understand and are ignorant on the subject!! Unless you have kids and have gone through their motions, you will never understand and will never know how parents feel.

moosegt35

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Wow!! Gonna guess that either A) You don't have kids or if so, then your kids are robots.

I don't have nor want kids. It isn't imp[ossible to have well behaved kids, people are just too lazy these days and expect everyone else to put up with their screaming sex trophies.

totalsham

The original writer is a friend of my friend and it's crazy how this took off. It's good though the owner has been bullying mothers with small children for a while now

see, its not about autism. thanks for proving this about the owner.


Its about noisy lil kids in her spa that adults pay top dollar to relax

moosegt35

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

this is a really sick unempathetic attitude. That little boy deserved a haircut, at a salon, despite his behaviours, as much as any child! Parents also deserve to be able to go out and bring their children out!!

I hear you, kids are annoying like crazy. The other day some kids that were playing outside of the building were trying to get back into the building w/o their parents but didnt have keys. My partner and I both looked the other way because we didn't want the responsibility if they ended up screaming or doing some stupid child thing.

As annoyed with kids as I may be, they deserve the same rights that anyone else does.

I never mentioned this kid so I don't know what you are talking about. Parents can bring their children out, but they should make them behave.

aimforhealthy

The original writer is a friend of my friend and it's crazy how this took off. It's good though the owner has been bullying mothers with small children for a while now

see, its not about autism. thanks for proving this about the owner.


Its about noisy lil kids in her spa that adults pay top dollar to relax

It is the owner's responsibility to set boundaries for what's expected in her business establishment. If she allows child clients, she must allow child behavior. If she is not tolerant of child behavior, that is her prerogative. But to allow people to book 2-year-olds for appointments and then get belligerent that a 2-year-old has the audacity to act like a 2-year-old is moronic. Straight up.

Joocey

Kids aren't meant to be "controlled." They're people with free will like anyone else. You do your best, especially as a person alone with a special needs kid.

But kids, and people, learn to behave. Because that's how society works.

We don't all just do whatever we want because we have free will, and everyone else be damned.

It is the owner's responsibility to set boundaries for what's expected in her business establishment. If she allows child clients, she must allow child behavior. If she is not tolerant of child behavior, that is her prerogative. But to allow people to book 2-year-olds for appointments and then get belligerent that a 2-year-old has the audacity to act like a 2-year-old is moronic. Straight up.

I can agree with this. I don't think there's any real dispute that the owner failed in her role as an owner as well.

aimforhealthy

Kids aren't meant to be "controlled." They're people with free will like anyone else. You do your best, especially as a person alone with a special needs kid.

But kids, and people, learn to behave. Because that's how society works.

We don't all just do whatever we want because we have free will, and everyone else be damned.

Of course they must learn. I'm not under the impression that we're talking about negligent parents who aren't even trying. Learning is a process, and sometimes you will run into children who are only in the process of learning to behave. Part of learning to behave is being exposed to situations where they must exercise their newly acquired skills and learn to comply with expectations. If you want kids to learn, you must allow that this takes time and is not an instantaneous process. A little kindness and understanding goes a long way sometimes.

Derpes

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Wow!! Gonna guess that either A) You don't have kids or if so, then your kids are robots.

I don't have nor want kids. It isn't imp[ossible to have well behaved kids, people are just too lazy these days and expect everyone else to put up with their screaming sex trophies.

Try forcing a two year old to behave. I once thought as you did until I had kids. Just try it, I dare you......then you might reconsider such misguided comments, however, there are parents that take the lazy route.

Qarol

Given the information provided, I think the owner handled the situation quite poorly. There are better ways it could have been handled. Because if I were there to get my nails done, I would not appreciate listening to this child crying...not for 100 bucks! No way. I don't pay that kind of money to put up with listening to crying children.

Autistic or not, the owner has a right to ask the mother to leave if she feels he's being a nuisance to other patrons. She would lose my business had she not done anything and let the child interrupt my (expensive) services.

k8blujay2

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

"Make them behave"? Two year olds? Children with autism? You know not about which you speak.

Then they shouldn't be taken places where other people have to put up with them. They are YOUR kids, not everyone elses. Why should I be punished because you can't control your kid?

Wow!! Gonna guess that either A) You don't have kids or if so, then your kids are robots.

I don't have nor want kids. It isn't imp[ossible to have well behaved kids, people are just too lazy these days and expect everyone else to put up with their screaming sex trophies.

Good... I'm glad you are not raising more unsympathic cretins. And No, you are right, it isn't impossible to have behaved children... BUT you don't know the reason as to why a child is misbehaving. Laziness isn't the only reason to have misbehaved children... but then you might realize this if you actually tried to understand what a parent with Autism or other behavioral and/or sensory issues is going through. It never as simple as saying the parent is "too lazy".

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Joocey

this is a really sick unempathetic attitude. That little boy deserved a haircut, at a salon, despite his behaviours, as much as any child! Parents also deserve to be able to go out and bring their children out!!

This is the sicker attitude. Everyone deserves everything... except when it isn't you.

The little boy deserved his haircut, despite his behavior? What about the other customers who deserved not to have to deal with the little boy?

Parents deserve to be able to go out and bring their children? What about the other people who deserve to have a quiet night at the restaurant, or a quiet flight on the plane, or a quiet day at the spa?

All of a sudden, they don't deserve those things anymore?

As annoyed with kids as I may be, they deserve the same rights that anyone else does.

Which is the right to do whatever... as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's rights.