Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm
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Someone said "upscale spa, her business, her rules. don't bring the kids". She didn't bring the child just to sit in there while she was getting a manicure or whatever. The place gave children haircuts, she took him for a haircut.0
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upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
This was the first thing that came to your mind after reading the story?0 -
Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!
Exactly. You have experience and would recognize it. Not everyone has been or does have experience. You can't expect everyone to know and recognize every disability, especially something like autism that has such a wide spectrum.
Why did I picture a pouty child when you said "Yes, you can..." Hahaha0 -
The owner of this Spa deserves everything she gets, if she knew the mother and knew the boy had autism she could have went over quietly and let the mom know her son was being a little loud and if she could get hm to calm down a bit rather than screaming at her and making a scene. I worked in an upscale salon and spa and we had kid's haircuts offered, some kids cried some yelled others were perfectly quiet. If anyone was disruptive my boss would quietly pull the parent aside and offer a candy or toy to quiet the kid down nicely.
Having a brother with autism I see this kind of behavior way too much and more often than not it is from someone who knows Peter and is aware that he has autism. Its almost like people expect them to be disruptive and loud and get aggravated instantly. Hopefully the child is okay and wont remember and the mom is okay as well.0 -
We're hearing one side of the story.
Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.
Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?
I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.
If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
This was more like the final straw
Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
Actually if you look on TripAdvisor you'll see that all of the reviews prior to this incident (which has sparked a slew of false reviews based on this story) were positive.
Try Yelp, they have a lot of the new ones that have come from this but they also have negative ones dating back to 2011. There's not a single positive review on there that I saw and I think I saw them all.
Yelp = 14 reviews (1 positive recent review, 1 negative review from 2011, and 12 negative reviews referencing this FB post)
Trip Advisor = 14 reviews (10 4-5 star reviews since 2012 and 4 negative 1 star reviews referencing this FB post)0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
I am on the fence about this, agree and disagree...but either way it doesn't make the actions of the owner appropriate or considerate or justified. Either way, my thoughts are definitely with the mother and child.
However - big kudos to the stylist who no matter the circumstance completed the job outside! That shows some true character and compassion in my book.
P.S. I hope this is true...the story...I hate it when these things are made up. We read it on the internet, so it must be true, right?0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
This was the first thing that came to your mind after reading the story?
yes. the owner said nothing to the mother about autism. it was all about behavior. just like she would have done if a normal kid acted up in her spa.
a spa is for relaxation.. not for screaming kids.0 -
My son is autistic with Sensory Integration Disorder.
He is extremely sensitive to getting his haircut along with many other external stimulators.
He cannot process them like most kids and it upsets him greatly.
Having a child with special needs is ostracizing enough without incidents like this.
A little public education would go a long way.0 -
Seems to me like the owner of the spa had a bigger "tantrum" than the poor child had. Perhaps it was SHE who should have had a time out.0
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I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.
knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?
If I had always gone there and liked the haircuts and liked the place, then yes I would. If the cut was worth the money, you can bet that I would take him!! Kids are everywhere in this world, my kids act up in the grocery store, even when I tell them to be good when we go in. Kids will be kids and you NEVER know what will happen, from one minute to the next. If you were a parent, then you MIGHT understand!! I can't stand when people without kids go judging those of us with kids!!0 -
So the world should accomidate every one with special needs? I am not saying the treatment was not horrible, it was but be realistice here. The truth is the world CANT acoomidate every autistic/hyper active/add/adhd child. Sometimes their behaviour is unnacceptable and out of place. Cold hard truth. Any good parent of a special needs kid knows exactly when and where they can bring their kids AND they know the triggers that can cause an issue with their kids and can seperate their kids from the anxiety/stimulation. Truth be told my son has one friend with adhd and hyper activity he came to my house once, never again. He broke everything on purpose, got into stuff, harrassed my cat, ran around like a banshee and did not respect my most basic rules. No matter how nicely I asked him. When I did ask him he got with in inches of my face and screamed at me. When I told his mother she acted all huffy and like I just needed to deal with it becuase he has all these needs. Truth be told she never should have brought him over and left him there, I felt had she stayed it would have been much better becuase she would know the tatics to control him. Instead she dumped him off with me, did not even come in to say hello, and expected me t be accomidating to her special needs kid, whom I did not know was special needs. Needless to say he is not welcome back in my house, not because of his issues but because of his mother. To many parents expect people to accomidate their childeren whan that is not a reality. Sad but true. One thing i do know is that GOOD parents accomidate their childeren and account for the needs and behaviours.
You really should stop using the words "good parents" when you know nothing about parenting a special needs child yourself. "Good" people are kind and don't expect children with special needs to be kept home all the time. "Good" people will even tolerate children having temper tantrums in public. "Good" people don't judge other parents.
I consider myself the best parent I can be. I know my son's limitations and triggers. I realize the world doesn't have to accomodate him, but I don't keep him locked up at home, either.0 -
It's awful that the owner treated the Mommy and child that way. And yeah, if a kid has autism, then a more stimulating "kid friendly" place could cause a serious meltdown. Even as a Mom of a toddler withOUT autism, sometimes tantrums happen and you can't really "control" it. I just take my child from the place she is throwing a tantrum at and try to talk to her in the car or secluded area when she's through with her screaming. It's embarrassing enough to have your child throw a freak out in public. It doesn't make a person a bad parent because the kid is being a normal kid.
On the other side I would still find another place to get my kid's hair cut than an upscale salon. Most upscale places and the people who go there on a regular basis don't know how to deal with kid behavior, let alone autistic behavior, and it's their prerogative to deal or not deal, but to be disrespectful and rude should NOT be permitted at all. Especially not if they're trying to come off as professional .0 -
Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!
Exactly. You have experience and would recognize it. Not everyone has been or does have experience. You can't expect everyone to know and recognize every disability, especially something like autism that has such a wide spectrum.
Why did I picture a pouty child when you said "Yes, you can..." Hahaha
Because you're immature0 -
This made me cry. My son is autistic. He's six and still reacts to getting a hair cut like this. People are way too quick to judge. I feel for the mom and hope the owner of the shop isn't so quick to react like that next time.0
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this thread has almost everything!
over reaction, misunderstanding, fake outrage, actual outrage, indifference, and sanctimony...
it's missing bewbs and bacon.
I have a 2 year old, and am pretty conscious about his behavior and where i take him. Those are my "qualifications."
I just don't think there is enough here to consider it the whole story. It's the observation of one person, and while something obviously happened, some people consider different things "yelling," and "tongue lashing," etc. It's very subjective, and as someone thinks about an incident like that, the more distorted their memory becomes, and they internally exaggerate.
so, again - something happened. there was probably some sort of confrontation. but the context and degree of it are in question, in my mind.0 -
I have two kids. Who the hell brings a two year old to a SPA for a haircut? You go to one of those strip mall places where every other kid is yelling too. I enjoy spa days a lot. I would be PISSED if I was spending a ton of money to hear a kid scream. I don't want to hear my own kids scream.
This has nothing to do with autism, and everything to do with time and place. And a spa with a little kid, no matter if he's on the spectrum, is an inappropriate place. What it is was a very fancy restaurant, or the theatre, would be still be so accommodating?
This is not about autism for me one iota.0 -
The worst part is that everyone sat there and said nothing while it happened and then griped about it from the safety of Facebook. Typical0
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Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!
Exactly. You have experience and would recognize it. Not everyone has been or does have experience. You can't expect everyone to know and recognize every disability, especially something like autism that has such a wide spectrum.
Why did I picture a pouty child when you said "Yes, you can..." Hahaha
Because you're immature
Oh Burn! I tried to point out to you that you would recognize something that others don't. Take is for what you will. No need to attack me.0 -
upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...
This was the first thing that came to your mind after reading the story?
yes. the owner said nothing to the mother about autism. it was all about behavior. just like she would have done if a normal kid acted up in her spa.
a spa is for relaxation.. not for screaming kids.
Everyone must admit that you are correct in some ways here. Its easy to point fingers, share the passion, elevate blood pressure all for the sanctity to protect the less fortunate. No, it does not make it correct, and I feel bad for the mother and child...heartfelt sincerity goes out to her. It really must have been a difficult situation.
If the owner has a track record, than shame on all of the other customers for putting up with it this long before this issue. Sometimes when the straw that breaks the camel's back occurs, it is too late. Was it in this case? Reading the other posts, maybe it was.
Before anyone points fingers, yes, I too have had similar situations in life with my child and his condition. I can personally relate to the mother and choose to fight to understand the owner. Doing it this way helps to make life easier...a lot.0 -
This has nothing to do with autism, and everything to do with time and place. And a spa with a little kid, no matter if he's on the spectrum, is an inappropriate place. What it is was a very fancy restaurant, or the theatre, would be still be so accommodating?
The spa took the appointment knowing who the kid was!0
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