Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

RachelSRoach1

upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

I am wondering what kind of spa it was... at the spas I go to where I spend over $100 it's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere and I don't know why anyone would bring kids. I would be mad if I spent $100 to have someone bring their kid, autistic or not, just so I can hear crying during my manicure.

Although if it is a place that offers kids haircuts, then crying kids could be expected.

Also don't see what being autistic has to do with it. Sounds like she didn't know he was autistic before she yelled, so she wasn't yelling at him for being autistic, and children without autism cry all the time during haircuts anyway.

I agree with you. I'm not saying that there wasn't a better way to handle speaking with the mother, but it would be a bad thing I think to let this blow the emotions of everyone way out of proportion.

Instead this should be a good reminder and lesson about how one should handle this situation. Peacefully and calmly.

Michelle_Nicole

Who the hell brings a two year old to a SPA for a haircut?

I've explained this already, but it's a busy thread, so perhaps you missed it. Some children with autism get easily overstimulated, which will cause a meltdown. Kid friendly places like Supercuts and those in the mall are overstimulating for some children with autism. My son, for example, does much better in a "spa type" setting. However, I make sure the owner/manager/stylist knows he could start acting out. If he does, we try to calm him down or take him outside. Having someone come up and yell at me while I'm trying to calm him down is not going to help. It's going to create an even greater scene for the other customers. From what I understand, this owner knows the family and knows the child has autism. Even if the child didn't, yelling at the mother is only going to make things worse for the child's behavior.

I completely agree with all of this! My brother has autism and tends to get more worked up and throws tantrums in a busier and nosier environment and stays more calm in a quiet place. We took him to a supercuts kind of place when he was a kid for a haircut. He got so upset with all the other people in there and other kids being loud that he threw a tantrum. The woman cutting his hair freaked out and wound up cutting off the top part of his ear! We had to rush him to the hospital after it was such a mess. Since then he goes where ever my mom would go for her own haircut. She would just let the owner or stylist know that he had autism and if he got upset she or I could calm him down by singing or taking him to a quiet space.

Perhaps the woman in the OP's story knew her son would do better in the spa than he would at the local chain salon. Either way the owner handled the situation completely wrong.

BigDaddyRonnie

I'll bet many of you haters shop (or have shopped) at Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle (yes, AE too...they don't exactly have a big boy or big girl section either, ya know).

:drinker: to the finger pointing!

smaihlee

I think it is incumbent upon the parents of autistic children to call ahead first and make special arrangements and/or seek out barbers, dentists, etc. who are experienced with this sort of thing. The ball park here even has a night where parents can bring autistic children to prepare them for the stress of coming to a game.

Nice in theory, but in a lot of areas it's hard enough to even find medical providers who are experienced with the diagnosis and treatment of Autism spectrum disorders. Over the course of 2 years, we repeatedly asked our son's pediatrician group for help in dealing with what we kept being told were his "behavioral issues". It wasn't until we saw a pediatric therapist that the word "autism" ever came up.

In the town where I live (which is not BFE by any stretch), the closest Developmental Pediatrician is 30 miles away and has up to a year-long waiting list for diagnostic appointments. Over 10 years later, we still have to drive 30 miles to find a therapist who has any inkling how to handle a teenager on the spectrum.

wineplease

I am hearing a common theme that autistic kids dont like hair cuts.....why not let them have long hair? Not trying to be a douche but with all the issues that come with autism just let that **** grown and put it in a pony tail?

Because I don't want my son with long hair and a pony tail? My son is in 7th grade and in a "regular" school. He gets made fun of enough as it is. Having long hair and a pony tail will just cause more issues with other kids. Some don't like doctors and dentists either. You do the best you can to keep them calm.

pinkledoodledoo

It's amazing how many of the negative reviews on Google, Yelp, etc. were posted by people who admit they weren't there and that they heard the story on Facebook, case in point:

NEVER EVER GO TO THIS PLACE!!!!! I just heard the story about how the owner of this spa horribly yelled at a woman who had an autistic child in her spa. The child was 2 to 3 years old, getting his hair cut but would not stop crying because.....well he is a small child and I remember how upset my son was when he was that small getting his haircut. Kids will be like that...and to yell at a mother in public is bad enough but to do that to a mother with a special needs child....that is terrible! LIKE I SAID...I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THIS PLACE, DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS LOCATED BUT I WILL NEVER GO THERE!!!

Unless you've actually witnessed or experienced terrible service, you have no right to post a negative review. No credibility, mmmkay?

I already went on TripAdvisor and reported all of the negative posts there that admitted to simply reviewing after hearing this story. Reviews like that make it impossible for people who are actually interested in the business to get a reliable review. It's not right what people are doing simply because of word-of-mouth. Even if this is the worst spa in the world, it should be rated by people who have actually been there and experienced it for themselves!

gogojodee

upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

I am wondering what kind of spa it was... at the spas I go to where I spend over $100 it's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere and I don't know why anyone would bring kids. I would be mad if I spent $100 to have someone bring their kid, autistic or not, just so I can hear crying during my manicure.

Although if it is a place that offers kids haircuts, then crying kids could be expected.


Pretty much this. I don't go to an upscale spa to NOT relax.

Also don't see what being autistic has to do with it. Sounds like she didn't know he was autistic before she yelled, so she wasn't yelling at him for being autistic, and children without autism cry all the time during haircuts anyway.

very good points.. and everyone here is being way too anally PC about a point that didnt matter. The owner didnt say get that special kid outta here. the owner was mad the kid was being too loud and the parent failed to control it.

plain and simple. yet you "sick" people wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill.

parent should take the kid to super cuts, not a upscale spa.

fatfrost

upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

I kind of agree with this. Although my heart does go out to the mom. I can't imagine how hard it is to raise a special needs child. My kids aren't special needs and I can barely control them.

Michelle_Nicole

I am hearing a common theme that autistic kids dont like hair cuts.....why not let them have long hair? Not trying to be a douche but with all the issues that come with autism just let that **** grown and put it in a pony tail?

I had the same thought with my brother when he kept throwing tantrums with haircuts. One thing that people don't think of is that the child may start to get used to the hair cut process and while they may still not like it they handle it better with time. Not speaking for everyone with autism but my brother managed to get used to it and while he still gets upset he doesn't freak out anymore. Also some people with autism are not very good at showering themselves so the long hair may become an issue down the line if they can't keep it clean.

BeachIron

People with no patience for children have no business serving the general public. If you don't want to allow children in your place of business, then make it clear with signage and rules. Do not berate parents for children behaving like children and expect to take their money. My guess is that this woman will be out of business in short order.

Mustang_Susie

I took my son to the stylist that I have gone to for over 20 years (in a private salon or spa as some of you are calling it).
And while he was never thrilled about getting his haircut, the familiarity and consistency helped him to relax and build trust.
Working together, we were able to help him have a positive experience and accomplish the goal of a nice haircut.

Joocey

I think it is incumbent upon the parents of autistic children to call ahead first and make special arrangements and/or seek out barbers, dentists, etc. who are experienced with this sort of thing. The ball park here even has a night where parents can bring autistic children to prepare them for the stress of coming to a game.

Nice in theory, but in a lot of areas it's hard enough to even find medical providers who are experienced with the diagnosis and treatment of Autism spectrum disorders. Over the course of 2 years, we repeatedly asked our son's pediatrician group for help in dealing with what we kept being told were his "behavioral issues". It wasn't until we saw a pediatric therapist that the word "autism" ever came up.

In the town where I live (which is not BFE by any stretch), the closest Developmental Pediatrician is 30 miles away and has up to a year-long waiting list for diagnostic appointments. Over 10 years later, we still have to drive 30 miles to find a therapist who has any inkling how to handle a teenager on the spectrum.

It sounds like a hassle. But guess what? You're rewarded because you have a child that I'm sure you love very much!

Me, on the other hand? I get nothing from your son. If he's bothering me, I couldn't care less if it's because he's autistic, or temperamental, or just at that age where kids are really, really annoying. It's not my responsibility to "deal with it", as so many posters in this thread seem to think.

Of course, I can choose to "deal with it", which reflects well on me. But it doesn't change the fact that person who should've handled it in the first place i.e. the parent failed to do so.

To say nothing of the poster who implied that she would physically assault anyone who made her child "feel bad" for doing something that bothered others. Because, evidently, it's the fault of the person being bothered.

MyChocolateDiet

Okay everyone RELAX! (pun intended)

I think making this big a deal about it, and having it be on the news, and going viral, and getting all the way to, "no! all our kids all need to be allowed everywhere at all times".. runs the risk of having blanket policies made where children will be allowed at spas, upscale or otherwise.

For this reason alone, I hope the story dies down and real spa's can remain quiet places of refuge for mom's like me who I'm sorry people, but sometimes need a gawdammed break! *smh*

moosegt35

I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.

knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?

If I had always gone there and liked the haircuts and liked the place, then yes I would. If the cut was worth the money, you can bet that I would take him!! Kids are everywhere in this world, my kids act up in the grocery store, even when I tell them to be good when we go in. Kids will be kids and you NEVER know what will happen, from one minute to the next. If you were a parent, then you MIGHT understand!! I can't stand when people without kids go judging those of us with kids!!

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

MyChocolateDiet

upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

I kind of agree with this. Although my heart does go out to the mom. I can't imagine how hard it is to raise a special needs child. My kids aren't special needs and I can barely control them.

qft :laugh:

FattyPandaCakes

To be completely honest here and I'm not trying to be rude but.... People are making it a bigger thing than it is.
I have a brother who has autism, BUT when he was little he didn't cry or anything a lot. He was quiet and out of the way really.
Putting the "Oh he has autism" does not justify anything in my opinion.
Kids cry regardless, and this boy is 2 years old. Terrible two's anyone? Reading this, the owner seemed to be upset BECAUSE of the kid screaming and crying in her spa NOT because of autism. She was talking to the parent at that, not the kid.
Then again, she could of calmly just told the parent to try to calm her child down and not run up to her all rude.
So I do feel sorry for them because of the owner being really rude but it's not that outrageous.
If the child didn't have autism this wouldn't be on the news or anything.

cuterbee

So the world should accomidate every one with special needs? I am not saying the treatment was not horrible, it was but be realistice here. The truth is the world CANT acoomidate every autistic/hyper active/add/adhd child. Sometimes their behaviour is unnacceptable and out of place. Cold hard truth. Any good parent of a special needs kid knows exactly when and where they can bring their kids AND they know the triggers that can cause an issue with their kids and can seperate their kids from the anxiety/stimulation. Truth be told my son has one friend with adhd and hyper activity he came to my house once, never again. He broke everything on purpose, got into stuff, harrassed my cat, ran around like a banshee and did not respect my most basic rules. No matter how nicely I asked him. When I did ask him he got with in inches of my face and screamed at me. When I told his mother she acted all huffy and like I just needed to deal with it becuase he has all these needs. Truth be told she never should have brought him over and left him there, I felt had she stayed it would have been much better becuase she would know the tatics to control him. Instead she dumped him off with me, did not even come in to say hello, and expected me t be accomidating to her special needs kid, whom I did not know was special needs. Needless to say he is not welcome back in my house, not because of his issues but because of his mother. To many parents expect people to accomidate their childeren whan that is not a reality. Sad but true. One thing i do know is that GOOD parents accomidate their childeren and account for the needs and behaviours.

I don't see why the world can't briefly accommodate a screaming, scared child getting a haircut.

Joreanasaurous

Says internet poster. MUST be true?

No. I've read other articles. Other employees of the spa are speaking out.

And if it online it MUST be true right?

vdobbs28

I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.

knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?

If I had always gone there and liked the haircuts and liked the place, then yes I would. If the cut was worth the money, you can bet that I would take him!! Kids are everywhere in this world, my kids act up in the grocery store, even when I tell them to be good when we go in. Kids will be kids and you NEVER know what will happen, from one minute to the next. If you were a parent, then you MIGHT understand!! I can't stand when people without kids go judging those of us with kids!!

I can't stand it when those of you with kids won't make them behave and expect those of us without kids to put up with it just because they are kids. They are YOUR kids, not ours.

They are public places and you can't stop kids from going somewhere. And trust me, my kids get in trouble... People can't predict how their kids are going to react to something or behave. If you had kids, you would understand.