People on here need to stick to feedback the user asks for?!?!

Options
1356710

Replies

  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Options
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
  • mommyrunning
    mommyrunning Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    levitateme wrote: »
    levitateme wrote: »
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:

    *I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
    Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

    *Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
    Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.

    *Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
    Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.

    *Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
    Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?

    These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.

    Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!

    So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?

    Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.

    You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).

    Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.

    Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.

    Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.

    So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.


    While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    Options
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.

    lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.

    I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
    Options
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:

    *I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
    Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

    *Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
    Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.

    *Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
    Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.

    *Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
    Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?

    These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.

    Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!

    1) I don't know of any books, but you can try the Nutrisystem web site. When I was on NS they had a suggested grocery list. You can also look at the Weight Watchers web site - I'm sure they have healthy meal planners. Or check Amazon.com for healthy recipe cookbooks.

    2) I don't think a quick workout routine to tone up fast exists otherwise no one would be overweight and we wouldn't need to be here.

    3) The only one I can think of is Thyroid Disease. But you can also try google...

    4) I use Special K Proten Shakes when I'm in a hurry.



  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
    Options
    Yep - and in a perfect world, I could just park my car and leave the keys in it... after all carrying around my keys is a drag - plus, y'know, people should just respect my right to personal property. But you know what - my car is locked and the keys are in my pocket.

    I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like-minded people in the groups. The public forums (by virtue of being public) tacitly invite others to chime in with their opinions.
  • thcguy123
    Options
    Some people need a pep talk. Most people don't need tough love answers so keep them to yourself.

    Ever heard of the saying "if you can say something nice don't say it all"? Try it out!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    Options
    levitateme wrote: »
    From now on, my canned answer to every thread will be "you are doing everything exactly right. Good job."

    And then people will be like "but wait you didn't answer any of my questions" and I will be like "You're so smart and strong."

    That's basically where I'm at these days too. Even when I know that agreeing for the sake of their mental state will be negatively impactful to their stated mission.

    Ain't my kin or my friends, so w/e.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    Options
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:

    *I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
    Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

    *Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
    Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.

    *Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
    Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.

    *Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
    Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?

    These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.

    Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!

    But, those are truthful answers.

    Truthful or not, they didn't answer her question. And some are just wildly off topic.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Options
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    LEVITATEME's post above is a good example of what I mean. Not the positive feedback most people need.

    It's great it takes you 45 seconds to make a shake - I don't have that time so I am looking for something I can grab from fridge and walk out door. But I didn't ask that anyway so don't comment unless you know of a good pre-made shake suggestion.

    Eat less - move more - really?!?! Yes it's true but it's about the least helpful thing I have ever heard. What people on here need is something in depth - links to a website you use, a book that really turned things around, some tales from your journey that might inspire them. Eat less and move more doesn't help lay out any specific plans which is what people here need.

    And "you don't need a grocery list". Do you realize people who go the store without a grocery list tend to overeat and buy fattening items they don't need. Your always better shopping with a list. Yes - many of us DO need a grocery list and don't know how to make a healthy one ourselves.

    POSITIVE FEEDBACK IS WHAT WE NEED! Not just you telling us it's all so simple and acting like why can't we all just figure this out.

    I think for answers like that, google is your friend. Seriously, a large part of this you could do yourself.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.

    lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.

    I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.

    Or babycenter.com forums.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    Options
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Some people need a pep talk. Most people don't need tough love answers so keep them to yourself.

    Ever heard of the saying "if you can say something nice don't say it all"? Try it out!
    Have you ever heard the saying, stop having boring tuna, stop having a boring life?

  • Sevendust912
    Sevendust912 Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    People are wayyy to sensitive.

    A lot of the time these threads are people starting topics looking for validation for their poor decisions.
  • canadianvampyregurl
    Options
    I like your post. I fully agree...I actually just made a new thread in another category as I've been feeling a little off the last few days...feeling like food is the enemy etc...the last thing I want/need is someone telling me to suck it up or oh it will get better...I am just seeking friendly encouragement :)

    People are rude and inconsiderate and if things aren't going the way they want, they tend to be discouraging to others.

    I'm a very positive person and do my best to show that in any answer I give on MFP or elsewhere for that matter. If I have nothing constructive to add, I don't.

    and just a side rant..i really despise those posts about would you date the person above you or rate their hotness...pathetic
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
    Options
    levitateme wrote: »
    levitateme wrote: »
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:

    *I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
    Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

    *Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
    Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.

    *Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
    Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.

    *Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
    Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?

    These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.

    Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!

    So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?

    Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.

    You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).

    Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.

    Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.

    Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.

    So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.


    While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)

    This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam

  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.

    lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.

    I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.

    Or babycenter.com forums.
    heh. I'll give $5 to anyone who goes there and posts that they gave their darling child some benadryl to help them go to sleep.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Options
    TL; DR
    16c47bq.jpg
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Options
    Why is it my job to tell you how to make a grocery list? and why is it rude of me to say you should be able to figure that out yourself?

    The question provided as an example was not how to make a grocery list. It was a request for a book that includes a grocery list.

    I agree with the OP, and this is just one example of why. The original request/question/point has already been lost.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.

    lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.

    I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
    But are they designed with a specific goal as this one is? Not usually. Just a free for all. :smile:
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    Options
    dbmata wrote: »
    dbmata wrote: »
    It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.

    lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.

    I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.

    Or babycenter.com forums.
    heh. I'll give $5 to anyone who goes there and posts that they gave their darling child some benadryl to help them go to sleep.

    I'm from Oklahoma....don't you mean whiskey?
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
    Options
    levitateme wrote: »
    levitateme wrote: »
    levitateme wrote: »
    thcguy123 wrote: »
    Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:

    *I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
    Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.

    *Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
    Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.

    *Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
    Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.

    *Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
    Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?

    These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.

    Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!

    So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?

    Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.

    You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).

    Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.

    Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.

    Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.

    So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.


    While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)

    This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam

    liked. ;)

    I read the last line in the voice of Gene Wilder.