People on here need to stick to feedback the user asks for?!?!
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BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
The people telling you that you don't need a book and can eat anything you like within your calories are trying to "share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way." I spent years reading all of the books, trying all of the "plans." I only wish I had figured this out years ago.
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BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?0 -
Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
I'd be curious to see the answer to this question.0 -
OP: Grow up.
Google is your friend.
There's an entire internet's worth of stuff out there for you to peruse.
If you don't know how to grocery shop, cook, put together a meal or other things functional adults should do...
No amount of advice from strangers will help you, nor should you rely on randos for assistance.
No amount of "motivation", "support", "help", coddling or babying is going to help you achieve your goals.
You learn by experience. That includes success, failure and everything in between.
You have to rely on yourself and your closest circle(s).
That's what adults do.
By starting this thread and drawing attention to yourself, you're acting like a child who didn't get what he wanted.
That sentiment goes for all your deficient supporters who are shaking their tear drenched rally towels at how "mean" everyone is.
Bottom line: no one here exists to validate anyone, save for themselves.
You want validation and advice that suits your agenda?
Call your mother and have her powder your bottom instead of bothering strangers.
You will get differing and dissenting opinions EVERYWHERE in life.
You are not "owed" a saccharine ideal of "politeness", and people will say things that you will find "mean" simply because you didn't get your way.
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Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
Agreed.
There's also a difference in asking, "How do I workout?" and asking "As a beginner in weightlifting without a gym membership and limited equipment, what's a good program that I can follow?"0 -
I think from the feedback here it's clear a lot of people dislike the negativity from the board. That is too bad.
It's also easy to see how quickly others jump on and turn things nasty and negative which basically just proves the whole point of the thread.
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.
I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
I am certain this is going to go well. The world is full of angry people, and MFP is full of hangry people. It is what it is, kicking at others will improve nothing. Did that answer your question? Wait, what was your question?0 -
I looked up some other words like compassion, sympathy, comiseration. I "guess" that's better. I think pity can be condescending and often implies the recipient is "helpless" or "hopeless". No, uh-uh.0
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Some people need a pep talk. Most people don't need tough love answers so keep them to yourself.
Ever heard of the saying "if you can say something nice don't say it all"? Try it out!
I can understand this. Not everyone is the same. Perhaps at the beginning of your posts it would be helpful if you told people ahead of time that you do not benefit from tough love and want only positive cheery answers otherwise you may become enraged and that it is counterproductive to your progress.
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Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
He also failed to mention that when he asked how to tone up "fast" he had a timeline of eight days. Sorry people told you that's not possible. They're so mean.
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If you are such a delicate flower that the slightest disagreement causes upset you should probably not converse with members of the general public - I'm looking at you flaggers!-3
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levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
It is true that other sites are worse but it doesn't make it okay. I agree some do think a different opinion is an attack and some people take things too personally. However, that does not mean that there are not rude people/posts. Just to be clear, I didn't think the first part of your post was rude just a bit blunt but I saw the point until you threw in the cyberbabies part. I congratulate you on your success and I am sure that you have lots of useful info to pass on. Sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it.
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Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
We are people. We aren't teachers, coaches, nutritionists, lifestyle advisors, trainers, or otherwise; and we don't claim to be!
This is why we give our opinions and answer the questions as we see fit. What's really frustrating is when a person believes themselves to be obsolved from personal responsibility and expects others to coach them on shopping, working out, diseases etc.
Additionally, in regards to your "sharing knowledge we had to learn the hard way" that's exactly what we did when we said use google, build your own meal plan, stop looking for excuses on why you may be gaining weight, etc. Those are all things most of us thought/went through when we started and now we see it for what it is... A waste of time! You must take control of your own life and actions and we can only offer support on what WE do.0 -
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise? [/quote]
The same way they don't know how to eat a healthy meal.
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DiabolicalColossus wrote: »...No amount of advice from strangers will help you, nor should you rely on randos for assistance.
...
By starting this thread and drawing attention to yourself, you're acting like a child who didn't get what he wanted.
That sentiment goes for all your deficient supporters who are shaking their tear drenched rally towels at how "mean" everyone is.
...
You are not "owed" a saccharine ideal of "politeness", and people will say things that you will find "mean" simply because you didn't get your way.
Oh my, I do declare. I am overcome.
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Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
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diannethegeek wrote: »Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
No one is required to act as a teacher, coach, or positive influence for another person just because they signed up for a message board or app. People are here for many reasons and I don't see anything about requiring successful people to act as teachers in the TOS.
This thread and the Tough Love thread should get together.
Off to find tough love thread.
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*liked*trinatrina1984 wrote: »If you are such a delicate flower that the slightest disagreement causes upset you should probably not converse with members of the general public - I'm looking at you flaggers!
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