How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
elphie754
Posts: 7,574 Member
I know that other people weight loss journeys really are none of my business, however I have a work partner that is constantly discussing some very disillusioned ideas about weightloss. They are seeing a personal trainer (which is their business, not mine) but he has given them some really bad broscience ideas about weightloss. The past few weeks I've steadily lost weight and they have not. They started complaining how unfair it is because they work out in the gym etc. however while at work I observe them making really poor food choices. Not as in I don't think they should eat that specific food, but rather in a course of 12 hours, eating 2000-3000 calories or more (no they are not so heavy set that their bmr would be that high). I tried to gently suggest that maybe they should take a look a the food they it and got a response of: well my trainer says I should eat every 3-4 hours because that is how you speed up your metabolism (I honestly doubt he meant eat 1k calories every 3-4 hours). It is kind of frustrating because I have to listen to how their trainer kicked their butt, how sore they are, etc. and how they should be losing weight because they are seeing said trainer.
Have other people dealt with people like that? If so, how did you handle it? Simply tuning them out is not an option (we work in a vehicle together for 12+ hours).
Have other people dealt with people like that? If so, how did you handle it? Simply tuning them out is not an option (we work in a vehicle together for 12+ hours).
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I once worked with someone who was completely into pseudoscience... "cleanses", naturoapathy, healing crystals, you name it. She was basically like the real life equivalent of Tim Minchin's Storm, if you know what I'm talking about.
I just smiled and nodded a lot, and then used her increasingly weird concepts as fodder for good stories.
Like you said, it's their business, not yours. If you're stuck in a car for 12+ hours with him, just shut down that topic of conversation with some useless platitude ("different things work for different people, I guess") and change the subject. Eventually they'll eventually get the hint.0 -
That's a tough one.
Are they calorie counting at all? I'd be talking up MFP a lot - encouraging without bossing to track what they eat.
Or just punch him
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Personal trainers [can] be fantastic. But as you are seeing - the person being trained needs to be accountable for what they eat, or all that hard work won't pay off. I listen to people all the time about how they are trying this or that or this diet to lose water weight, blah blah blah. I just smile and nod.
Show by action, not words.0 -
Perhaps gently suggest that a personal trainer is not the same as a nutritionist, and that your colleague might benefit from seeing both. If the trainer is still God in the person's eyes, maybe suggest your colleague track all food and beverages consumed (honestly, no cheating and leaving stuff out) for two weeks and take that info to the trainer for feedback.
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Punching and laughing are good ideas. ;-)
If someone else has a problem and you get upset about it, then you have a problem. And your problem has nothing to do with theirs.
So, it's probably best not to discuss it unless you like getting bent out of shape.
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I think honesty is the best policy. It might be better to just say, "You can't eat like that and lose weight dude".0
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Probably best to discredit the personal trainer. Ask if they have any degrees in nutrion/kinesology. And by degrees I mean bachelors or greater. CC does not count. There is no eating regime that will work to lose weight unless it contains the term "eat less". I don't care if you eat once or 10 times a day. If your calories are more than you lose then you are going to maintain/gain weight. End of story, the science is more than settled on it.0
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Stay out of it. There's a lot u might not know. Maybe their workouts justify those cals. Maybe they dont eat later. Maybe they are trying to build muscle. Etc. Just be hapoy with your sucess and instead of trying to tune out someone who is in the car with you, just turn on the radio after saying something banal, like "hey, thats cool!" Its a coworker ur not in charge of thwir weigt loss, u just have to get along. Yer paycheck dep2nds on it.0
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I usually don't say anything!
I know someone who is really into this plant-based diet but has gained about 15 - 20 lbs in the last few years of eating said plant diet. This person is all about cleanses and smoothies and pills and vitamins and blah blah blah.
I have lost 70 lbs by monitoring what I eat, eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly. I eat meat and this person is always complaining about how bad meat is for you and so on. It's easier for me to keep my mouth shut. This person, while gaining weight, is still "small" so a lot of people listen to them and expect they know the answer but yet they're not any healthier than me PLUS they have deficiencies from this plant diet life thingy. They have made their children give up dairy, too.
I know someone else who I saw the other day eating a chocolate bar. I said to them I thought they were on a health kick because I always saw them at the gym, and their response was well I didn't have anything at my desk to eat. I always, ALWAYS, have apples and oranges sitting around so I said next time, come by and grab something you're always welcome to have one. Their response? Well an apple has just as much sugar in it as this chocolate bar so I'll just eat this chocolate bar.
I know many people have the debate about natural vs. refined sugar but I couldn't believe they thought eating the chocolate bar was no worse for you than eating an apple. I am pre-diabetic so I am following a diabetic meal plan and it suggests I have an apple daily, it does not suggest I have a chocolate bar. The misinformation out there is really shocking!
Because I'm still "big" not many people take what I have to say seriously when it comes to weight loss. It's unfortunate that so many people are filled with misconceptions about diet and exercise.0 -
Smile, nod, then complain about how you have to buy new pants again and you're glad you saved money on a trainer.0
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I'll just add this: It sounds like your question should be "how do I deal with an annoying coworker?" instead of "how do I deal with someone who doesn't understand weight loss?"
Your problem isn't that they're dumb. There are lots of dumb people in the world and they have no impact whatsoever on your life, nor do you feel compelled to educate or enlighten them all.
No, your problem is that you have to work with this person, and they're annoying. Treat it the same way you would any annoying coworker situation: Suck it up, don't make waves, and chalk it up to the fact that sometimes we don't get to choose our colleagues.0 -
Oh I got my answer now. Just change the subject every time he brings up weight loss. He'll get the hint and you don't have to be rude OR give advice he doesn't want!
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When I disagree with people I always try to put out there that we have different opinions/ideas and that is life and that is ok. Not everyone is going to think/feel the same way. I would let them know that you respect their ideas and hope they will respect yours, wish them the very best on their weight loss, and agree to not get into anything more detailed.0
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I'd be nice and let them vent. Then change the subject.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »That's a tough one.
Are they calorie counting at all? I'd be talking up MFP a lot - encouraging without bossing to track what they eat.
Or just punch him
I actually have brought up calorie counting and mfp before (they see me enter everything I eat). Lol I'm pretty sure my boss would frown upon that. Besides I don't want to do the extra paperwork that would entail lol.MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Stay out of it. There's a lot u might not know. Maybe their workouts justify those cals. Maybe they dont eat later. Maybe they are trying to build muscle. Etc. Just be hapoy with your sucess and instead of trying to tune out someone who is in the car with you, just turn on the radio after saying something banal, like "hey, thats cool!" Its a coworker ur not in charge of thwir weigt loss, u just have to get along. Yer paycheck dep2nds on it.
Not exactly possible. For one we can't have the radio too loud because we have to be able to hear the dispatcher and computer dispatching system. Not really a car anyway. I wish it were that easy, but as soon as we get a job, I get to listen to them complain about how sore they are as we walk up 5 flights a stairs. Granted I'm am not in amazing shape, but try to hold back on complaining when carrying all of our gear up stairs (elevators- architects have you hear of them). Also- obviously the amount of food is more than the deficit if they are complaining about not losing/gaining weight.obscuremusicreference wrote: »Smile, nod, then complain about how you have to buy new pants again and you're glad you saved money on a trainer.
Funny you should say that because the other day my partner goes.... "Uhh did you grab the wrong size pants today?" I asked why, and they responded "because they look so much more baggy then usual." Lol. I was on cloud 9 for hours.I'll just add this: It sounds like your question should be "how do I deal with an annoying coworker?" instead of "how do I deal with someone who doesn't understand weight loss?"
Your problem isn't that they're dumb. There are lots of dumb people in the world and they have no impact whatsoever on your life, nor do you feel compelled to educate or enlighten them all.
No, your problem is that you have to work with this person, and they're annoying. Treat it the same way you would any annoying coworker situation: Suck it up, don't make waves, and chalk it up to the fact that sometimes we don't get to choose our colleagues.
The thing is: a) other than this issue they are not annoying at all, b) they are actually a wonderful partner to work with and c) we did choose to work the same shift together. During shift trades that happen every few months, you can ask for a permanent shift with someone who you wish to work with.
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I usually give advice or opinion if asked for it. If I am not asked for it then I keep my mouth shut. They will(hopefully) figure it out.0
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Agree. In my experience people don't want to hear that it's hard & they'll have to change their lifestyle...forevah... They think they're paying a trainer to provide motivation & as long as the check clears they can take what they want from the (sometimes good) advice & leave the rest. Just lose your weight & let them do their thing. I have girlfriends & co-workers who are on the more cardio no weights bandwagon & even done HCG. I'm supportive of their efforts, but make it clear it's not something I have any interest in doing.0 -
I really appreciate everyone's advice. I think I may just bring it up next shift and say "hey, I get your have a personal trainer and I think that is awesome, and I enjoy hearing about the workouts (which I do, they give me ideas) but can we make complaining about the scale an off limit topic? It has been bothering me lately" and see what they say.
Also I am using gender neutral pronouns for a reason. 0 -
To be honest, if that's the worst thing your coworker does, thank your lucky stars. I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
I will not get started on how they behaved when I had three relatives pass away within a short period.0 -
So often people really aren't happy with what they are doing with regards to weight loss. They can also get jealous of someone else's weight loss. So when you try and offer advice, they feel justified in shutting you down. The best thing I would say do is just say, really? and let it go. Don't offer advice unless specifically asked. If they ask then you can say well, My Fitness Pal has worked for me and let it go.
Your right it's not your business but this person is trying to make it your business.
If you really want to say something then tell them, 'Look, I get your all into this fitness trainer and that is fine. I've tried to offer you some sound advice of additional ways to help you with your weight loss. Clearly your not interested in what I have to say. So, let's not talk about your weight or my weight because I'm done." And then change the subject.
Hope these help.0 -
I would just respond to their whining with "hmmm...yeah...that sucks...hmmm...ok...mmmhmmm..."
Eventually they'll get the hint that you don't care and shut up. After 50 "hmmm" responses, people realize they should just be quiet. Obviously they aren't trying to hear any advice from you because they think their training knows best. It's sad for them but maybe after a few months of no progress, they'll get a clue or just give up. I wonder if it's not the trainer as much as it is your coworker incorrectly applying the trainer's advice. He probably say 5-6 small meals and you're coworker has an incorrect view of small lol. You could give the perfect advice and they'd still say you were wrong.0 -
I agree that it's probably the coworker, not the trainer. While the whole eating frequently to fire up your metabolism thing is wrongity-wrong, it's a common enough myth.
At this point, I'd do nothing, but just sigh sympathetically. Your coworker's journey is their own. At some point, they'll go looking for solutions, and they might ask how you lose steadily. You can mention CICO and MFP when they ask.
I firmly believe that people have to have their heads in the right place to succeed at weight loss and getting fit and healthy. I'm just starting out myself! To me, it doesn't sound like your coworker has exactly gotten there yet, but they are on their way. You're further along and get the whole deal better than they do. Try to remember that.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »I agree that it's probably the coworker, not the trainer. While the whole eating frequently to fire up your metabolism thing is wrongity-wrong, it's a common enough myth.
It also doesn't do anything to prevent weight loss, as long as the calorie goals are being met. Compared to much of the nonsense floating around out there, it's pretty innocuous.
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If they're not bothering me, what does it matter? Not hurting me any.0
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Just break up already......
oh wait, not that type of thread.....
If they bring it up, just something like "I don't know, must be something different. Check with your trainer" or something like that0 -
Usually like this
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herrspoons wrote: »I really appreciate everyone's advice. I think I may just bring it up next shift and say "hey, I get your have a personal trainer and I think that is awesome, and I enjoy hearing about the workouts (which I do, they give me ideas) but can we make complaining about the scale an off limit topic? It has been bothering me lately" and see what they say.
Also I am using gender neutral pronouns for a reason.
They're a transsexual?
Not exactly. They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day.
obscuremusicreference wrote: »To be honest, if that's the worst thing your coworker does, thank your lucky stars. I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
I will not get started on how they behaved when I had three relatives pass away within a short period.
Oh I know. I have had horrid work partners before. It was basically a counting game until the shift ended. Thankfully all 3 of my permanent partners (based on day of week) are absolutely amazing. For the most part we get along great although there have been times where I have seriously, but playfully told them that I would throw them under the next moving vehicle we encounter if they kept a specific thing that was irritating up lol (like continuously turning off a light I turn on to do paperwork).I would just respond to their whining with "hmmm...yeah...that sucks...hmmm...ok...mmmhmmm..."
Eventually they'll get the hint that you don't care and shut up. After 50 "hmmm" responses, people realize they should just be quiet. Obviously they aren't trying to hear any advice from you because they think their training knows best. It's sad for them but maybe after a few months of no progress, they'll get a clue or just give up. I wonder if it's not the trainer as much as it is your coworker incorrectly applying the trainer's advice. He probably say 5-6 small meals and you're coworker has an incorrect view of small lol. You could give the perfect advice and they'd still say you were wrong.
Lol, I wish that were true but even when I ignore a specific whine, they still carry on lol. Not so sure subtle hints have much effect lol.mamapeach910 wrote: »I agree that it's probably the coworker, not the trainer. While the whole eating frequently to fire up your metabolism thing is wrongity-wrong, it's a common enough myth.
It also doesn't do anything to prevent weight loss, as long as the calorie goals are being met. Compared to much of the nonsense floating around out there, it's pretty innocuous.
I agree and when it was brought up by them, I did say something along the lines of I'm not sure that makes a difference (so it didnt sound like I was trying to correct them). I guess it could be worse and they could be believing some more ridiculous and out there lol.Hearts_2015 wrote: »
When you continuously complain about a certain topic to another person, you are kind of involving them.Just break up already......
oh wait, not that type of thread.....
If they bring it up, just something like "I don't know, must be something different. Check with your trainer" or something like that
I could be completely wrong, but I'm pretty sure the things they keep talking about are actually told to them by the trainer. They keep saying "well my trainer says..." My initial reaction was I wanted to smack them and say why are you paying for someone to give you bad advice, but kept quiet.0
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