How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
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i didnt read any responses but i'm sure this will be a repeat.
i dont.0 -
I think most people aren't reading the whole thread. The OP should say "How do you deal with someone that you have to work with closely who literally will not shut up about a topic that he/she is very wrong about when I know the right answers and this person brushes off everything I say with 'WELL MY TRAINER SAID...'?"
Poison dart.0 -
Normally I deal with it by avoiding the food and nutrition sub-forum....
... then I don't have to deal with it.0 -
MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Stay out of it. There's a lot u might not know. Maybe their workouts justify those cals. Maybe they dont eat later. Maybe they are trying to build muscle. Etc. Just be hapoy with your sucess and instead of trying to tune out someone who is in the car with you, just turn on the radio after saying something banal, like "hey, thats cool!" Its a coworker ur not in charge of thwir weigt loss, u just have to get along. Yer paycheck dep2nds on it.
+1 You can't risk creating work-enemies out of them. If their way don't work they will see it after some time.0 -
i treat it like people who have different political or religious beliefs than me, cause that's how sacred my body temple thing is.
^This.
For many people, beliefs about food are like religion to them, as in, something totally sacred and unshakable even with evidence. They're dogmatic, evangelical, entirely convinced that their way is "right" and your way is "wrong", and obsessed with following certain arbitrary beliefs about food and purity based on some sort of false messiah like a self-described guru or trainer. They are also usually convinced that the mainstream scientific world is engaged in a conspiracy to silence the "truth", but they have "seen the light" and know that of course meat/dairy/gluten/GMOs/non-organic produce/soy are bad for you and nobody should eat them, ever.
You can't logic someone out of a mistaken food belief any more than you can logic them out of a mistaken religious belief.0 -
I'll second the "yeay, OP, for respecting coworkers preferred pronouns," and add actual advice on the question at hand.
It depends. (Aren't I helpful?) Is coworker venting or bringing up a topic that invites your comment? For Example:
(Through mouthful of one of 5 daily full portioned meals) "It's driving me nuts that I can't lose a pound!"
To that, you can try one of the following:
"That sounds frustrating."
or, if you want to placate or angle away from the complaints:
"Well, you are lifting a lot, perhaps you're building muscle mass."
Now, if the coworker is actually inviting you to comment or looking for you to in some way affirm that there are magic beans at work somewhere?
"I'm working my butt off and can't lose a pound, how come you get to be lucky and drop all that weight?"
Try one of these:
"Well, I'm no expert on your physiology, but I personally been having good results from reducing my calorie intake and increasing my cardio workouts and doing some light strength work."
or
"Does your trainer monitor your food intake and/or body fat % as part of your training?"
or, the all time shut down
"Everyone's experience is different, I guess. How 'bout them Mets?"
And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."
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because beliefs are unique to us, our perspective and our brain.
they start inside and they evolve as our brains do. it's not something you can just convert to or from in under a minute.
if a person changes from democrat to republican or reverse, that change happens over time.
if a person changes from JW to Athiest, they don't convert on the spot, it's a change in thinking that happens gradually.
So there's no point arguing beliefs. You can share experiences and some of it may take seed in their brain, but that's best case scenario.
There IS a point in staying out of conversations about what two different people believe in differently.0 -
Haters gonna hate0
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Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.0 -
I know that other people weight loss journeys really are none of my business, however I have a work partner that is constantly discussing some very disillusioned ideas about weightloss. They are seeing a personal trainer (which is their business, not mine) but he has given them some really bad broscience ideas about weightloss. The past few weeks I've steadily lost weight and they have not. They started complaining how unfair it is because they work out in the gym etc. however while at work I observe them making really poor food choices.
My response would probably be to describe what I've done to lose the weight and finish it off with "As you can see, this has worked for me. Maybe you can look into it and see if it would work for you."0 -
How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
Last time? Knowing that the people I was tired of listening to couldn't pass up even mediocre cupcakes... I bought a dozen cupcakes for the two of them.
Boom. Headshot.0 -
I just smile brightly and change the subject to the weather. Everyone has to follow their own path.0
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When I hear things like that from people, I suggest MFP to them, lol. If they don't try it, then I don't really have much to say aside from "that sucks" from that point forward.0
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Even my children, if they keep bringing up an endless problem after ignoring the obvious solution, I cut off. I tell them I'm bored of that subject and change the topic.
I also agree with the smile and nod, "That's nice".
http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Thats_Nice0 -
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mustloseweight2015 wrote: »
Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.
actually, in the original post, the problem is that the person actually WONT STOP ASKING
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And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."
I stand corrected!
It is kind of a jerky thing to do, saying "No offense, but..." really doesn't make whatever you say next inoffensive. And it is kind of a wimpy, passive-aggressive way to insult someone.
It is a lot like saying,"I'm not a racist, but..."
The person who says it does knows there is something wrong with what they about to say, fools nobody and comes off as a bit of a jerk.
OP, maybe you shouldn't do that, after all. Wouldn't want to seem like some kind of loser!
Thanks, MFP, for helping me to see the light. 0 -
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That's rude, and completely inappropriate. I would have had a word with HR about them creating a hostile work environment.obscuremusicreference wrote:I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss.They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
WTF. So people who are rude about religious beliefs are wrong but it's okay to judge someone's gender identity? That has to be the worst response I've read on here EVER. You just blew GayleHawkins right out of the water with that one.
Have a nice day.
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So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss.
That is completely uncalled for. Just because they choose to identify as something you may not agree with does not mean they have "mixed-up" ideas about gender. In fact, I would say they are very confident in their choice of gender identity to be open about it.
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mustloseweight2015 wrote: »
Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.
actually, in the original post, the problem is that the person actually WONT STOP ASKING
Exactly. I feel like people keep missing that.0 -
Devil's advocate: What makes your coworker's trainer's methods 'the wrong way'? Could it be too soon to tell? Or the scale might be the wrong tool to measure?
I would tell my coworker my honest feelings: That making a huge change to your fitness routine ('zero to sixty', especially) can result in MONTHS of water retention and other non-fat weight gain. So even if he/she is losing fat, the scale is probably not showing it.
I might also add that if I ate over 24 hours how much he/she seems to eat in 12, I couldn't lose weight. But I'd have to be pretty sure he/she was eating that much in 12 to say that. And if I only spent one day a week with him/her, I might ask if it was a typical food day.
I'd leave it at that.0 -
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss."obscuremusicreference wrote:They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
Really just have to break in here and say that there's no need for intolerance. Gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with someone's (right or wrong) concepts of weight loss. And kudos to OP for respecting your colleague's gender-fluidity and preferred choice of pronoun.
totally exactly right. if someone is transgendered, they go by their true gender, not the sex they were born with (note there is a difference between sex and gender). if someone is transsexual, they have physically transitioned their sex to match their gender (surgery). and if someone is gender fluid, you call them what they want to be called. "they" is common. good job OP for the respect it takes to do exactly that.
as for the question, i would listen intently about what they were saying - eat 6 small meals a day? i've heard about that! good that you're giving it a try. how much do you eat for each meal, the portions must be half the usual size. (got the statement in there inoffensively).
and i would ask them if they were consulting a registered dietitian, a holistic nutritionist, etc. say that trainers know a lot about what works for THEM but nutritionists know a lot more about what works for MANY people.0 -
this too. "no offense but" just means you're going to say something they'll take offense to, and you bloody well know it.
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Don't have the conversation. You don't agree, so change the subject. You may even have to actually state, "We have different viewpoints on this so perhaps it's best we talk about something else."0
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So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss."obscuremusicreference wrote:They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
Really just have to break in here and say that there's no need for intolerance. Gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with someone's (right or wrong) concepts of weight loss. And kudos to OP for respecting your colleague's gender-fluidity and preferred choice of pronoun.
totally exactly right. if someone is transgendered, they go by their true gender, not the sex they were born with (note there is a difference between sex and gender). if someone is transsexual, they have physically transitioned their sex to match their gender (surgery). and if someone is gender fluid, you call them what they want to be called. "they" is common. good job OP for the respect it takes to do exactly that.
as for the question, i would listen intently about what they were saying - eat 6 small meals a day? i've heard about that! good that you're giving it a try. how much do you eat for each meal, the portions must be half the usual size. (got the statement in there inoffensively).
and i would ask them if they were consulting a registered dietitian, a holistic nutritionist, etc. say that trainers know a lot about what works for THEM but nutritionists know a lot more about what works for MANY people.
Seeing as they respect my relationship status, so it would be hypocritical to expect them to accept me and for me not to accept them.
As for the issue, I think just a straight forward conversation might be the way to go.0 -
I have a coworker who kind of does this...we've talked about it and she knows that it's more about the calories (or she does WW points, which works for her when she tracks it).
I just say (gently) "You can't out-train a bad diet" and she laughs.
HOWEVER...I consider her a personal friend, we've talked about our struggles in the past, and she has said the same thing to me when I'm being naughty. And I laugh.
If you do not have that kind of relationship with your coworker, I would not say anything, unless specifically asked. Then explain it. Gently.
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I was at my men's bible study & fellowship last night. Twice during the night, at the top of the meeting, and during pizza eating afterward, weight loss came up. The usual came up; carbs make you fat, don't eat after a certain hour, so on and so forth. I just kept my mouth shut. Most of the people here have no idea I've lost over 100 pounds. I've found, in most cases, it's just not even worth it to try and educate people on this stuff. Not worth the debates unless you have a real, genuine chance to educate somebody who is open to hearing.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-Id_fuXFA
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