How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
Replies
-
I had a lady obese in my office who was always obsessed with me especially my weight and as soon as I worked out a lot and started to look good she just went bananas. She would bug me every time I saw her and I ignored her. She later died of a massive heart attack. The last time we saw her alive at work I decided I ignored her too much and took her out for lunch, doing some sales work together on Friday and she told me it was the funnest day she had , had in years. The next Monday she wasn't at work and we found out she had died. She was in denial, she lied to everyone about her working out, how much she consumed. I'd try talking to the person in a very fact like way, don't get personal and if they don't hear you , you know they are just set in their way. You could offer to work out, eat with them I've done that before and then the person sees what it really takes.0
-
karenlwashburn wrote: »I had a lady obese in my office who was always obsessed with me especially my weight and as soon as I worked out a lot and started to look good she just went bananas. She would bug me every time I saw her and I ignored her. She later died of a massive heart attack. The last time we saw her alive at work I decided I ignored her too much and took her out for lunch, doing some sales work together on Friday and she told me it was the funnest day she had , had in years. The next Monday she wasn't at work and we found out she had died. She was in denial, she lied to everyone about her working out, how much she consumed. I'd try talking to the person in a very fact like way, don't get personal and if they don't hear you , you know they are just set in their way. You could offer to work out, eat with them I've done that before and then the person sees what it really takes.
Oh gosh! That is really really sad. I am so sorry to hear that. I would work out with them, but our goals in that area are slightly different right now. They seem to be mostly focused on extreme strength exercises (at least I have never heard them talk about cardio). I am more into cardio right now with some light strength exercises. Unfortunately we wouldn't be able to eat together outside of work because of how severe my food allergies are (I won't eat anything I haven't myself prepared). We don't get actual lunch breaks though, so while working we have to eat with each other lol.0 -
+1
You have NO idea what their journey is.
0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
+1
You have NO idea what their journey is.
Except they talk about it all the time.0 -
So? So lets say you tell him everything you know about how he should diet. And he's not happy. You still have to see him all day every day. Fun times that will be.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
+1
You have NO idea what their journey is.
Except they talk about it all the time.0 -
Keep letting them know you don't approve.
Just say, "No offense, but..." first. When you say, "No offense, but..." people always understand that you're quite charming and will never think you're saying something that you darn well intended to be offensive.
That should work quite well.
Also, tell them how many calories are in whatever they're eating. Every time they open a pop, unwrap a burger, or munch a mid-day snack, announce the calories.
They might act like it bugs them, but it might help.
Just don't forget the, "No offense, but..." first!
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
So? So lets say you tell him everything you know about how he should diet. And he's not happy. You still have to see him all day every day. Fun times that will be.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
+1
You have NO idea what their journey is.
Except they talk about it all the time.
Uh no. I work with them only 12 hours, one day a week.Keep letting them know you don't approve.
Just say, "No offense, but..." first. When you say, "No offense, but..." people always understand that you're quite charming and will never think you're saying something that you darn well intended to be offensive.
That should work quite well.
Also, tell them how many calories are in whatever they're eating. Every time they open a pop, unwrap a burger, or munch a mid-day snack, announce the calories.
They might act like it bugs them, but it might help.
Just don't forget the, "No offense, but..." first!
No offense but..... That would get my butt kicked.
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Part of life is having to learn from your own mistakes.
In this case, your work friend is just going to have to walk the path on their own and learn for themselves. That's life.
As for you, smile, nod, offer encouragement and keep going your own direction.0 -
So what answer do you want?Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
So? So lets say you tell him everything you know about how he should diet. And he's not happy. You still have to see him all day every day. Fun times that will be.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
+1
You have NO idea what their journey is.
Except they talk about it all the time.
Uh no. I work with them only 12 hours, one day a week.Keep letting them know you don't approve.
Just say, "No offense, but..." first. When you say, "No offense, but..." people always understand that you're quite charming and will never think you're saying something that you darn well intended to be offensive.
That should work quite well.
Also, tell them how many calories are in whatever they're eating. Every time they open a pop, unwrap a burger, or munch a mid-day snack, announce the calories.
They might act like it bugs them, but it might help.
Just don't forget the, "No offense, but..." first!
No offense but..... That would get my butt kicked.
0 -
Next time the person says "My trainer says", respond with "Well, you keep complaining about gaining weight, so maybe your trainer is full of *kitten*".
Me, I'd go with honesty and ask them to shut up about it.1 -
herrspoons wrote: »Laughter usually.
That's my favored way.
More seriously, people who complain about not getting results - and bitching that I eat more than they do - has always been "I can eat more because I work my *kitten* off."0 -
Complain about how sore/worn out you are too, whether or not it's true. Sometimes the best way to deal with a complainer is to commiserate a little; some people relate well by sharing their troubles.
You still have to work on changing the subject, though. It's no different with friends or family who don't agree with you or who talk about things you don't want to hear--you have to just get away from that issue and move on. We all have friends/coworkers who go on about religious and political stuff, and yes, it can get pretty ridiculous. I'll try to find common ground or sympathize wherever possible and see if I can move the conversation toward a related topic on which we do agree. If that fails, I distract myself and ignore them.0 -
Those people are everywhere and also make up about 80% of the population here.0
-
Not my business.0
-
Respond to the specific complaints. "What did your trainer say when you asked about the weight gain? Did the trainer say how much to eat every 3-4 hours? Why do you think it's not working?" Don't argue, just have a conversation based on what your coworker is bringing up. Your partner will figure it out soon enough. If your friend says it's not fair that you've lost weight, say something like, "Yeah, (whatever you're doing) is really working for me."
Just loosen up about it. You don't have to save your friend from his bad trainer or take responsibility for her weight loss.
Or just scream CICO repeatedly at your partner.0 -
Say "You're wrong, stopp being an idiot. Be just like me, 'cos I'm perfick" in their face
or don't <shrugs>
I'm of the nod and smile sweetly, but seethe inwardly school of thought - I learnt this when my mother started giving me parenting advice :
0 -
I'll just add this: It sounds like your question should be "how do I deal with an annoying coworker?" instead of "how do I deal with someone who doesn't understand weight loss?"
Your problem isn't that they're dumb. There are lots of dumb people in the world and they have no impact whatsoever on your life, nor do you feel compelled to educate or enlighten them all.
No, your problem is that you have to work with this person, and they're annoying. Treat it the same way you would any annoying coworker situation: Suck it up, don't make waves, and chalk it up to the fact that sometimes we don't get to choose our colleagues.
And wear earphones.
0 -
That's rude, and completely inappropriate. I would have had a word with HR about them creating a hostile work environment.obscuremusicreference wrote:I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
There is that approach...Respond to the specific complaints. "What did your trainer say when you asked about the weight gain? Did the trainer say how much to eat every 3-4 hours? Why do you think it's not working?"
You're gaining weight, I'm losing. Which approach do you think is working better, mine or your trainer's?
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss.They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
-3 -
in for no offense.0
-
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss."obscuremusicreference wrote:They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
Really just have to break in here and say that there's no need for intolerance. Gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with someone's (right or wrong) concepts of weight loss. And kudos to OP for respecting your colleague's gender-fluidity and preferred choice of pronoun.
0 -
I'd say tune them out in general. But if they keep up with the complaining, and insist on trainer-knowledge: suggest they discuss their food log with said trainer. Don't make the coworker your responsibility, that could hurt your success.0
-
Easy!
Since it's the workplace, we have lots of etiquette that can keep this from happening!
"I understand you are frustrated because your methods aren't working as well or as fast as you would like them to. Remember that it is all up to you to make the changes. As for me, I follow a very different program than you, so I can't help you with yours. I do get that you are frustrated, but this is something you are going to have to deal with on your own. Our workplace isn't really the platform for this."
Unless you enjoy talking to her about weightloss and fitness stuff, in which case - eventually you will look her in the eyes and say - 'well - maybe if you were doing anything correctly, it would be working.'NerdieMcChub wrote: »If they're not bothering me, what does it matter? Not hurting me any.
did you read the post? they are bothering her.
(*) for your contribution.
0 -
herrspoons wrote: »I really appreciate everyone's advice. I think I may just bring it up next shift and say "hey, I get your have a personal trainer and I think that is awesome, and I enjoy hearing about the workouts (which I do, they give me ideas) but can we make complaining about the scale an off limit topic? It has been bothering me lately" and see what they say.
Also I am using gender neutral pronouns for a reason
.
They're a transsexual?
Not exactly. They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day.
obscuremusicreference wrote: »To be honest, if that's the worst thing your coworker does, thank your lucky stars. I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
I will not get started on how they behaved when I had three relatives pass away within a short period.
Oh I know. I have had horrid work partners before. It was basically a counting game until the shift ended. Thankfully all 3 of my permanent partners (based on day of week) are absolutely amazing. For the most part we get along great although there have been times where I have seriously, but playfully told them that I would throw them under the next moving vehicle we encounter if they kept a specific thing that was irritating up lol (like continuously turning off a light I turn on to do paperwork).I would just respond to their whining with "hmmm...yeah...that sucks...hmmm...ok...mmmhmmm..."
Eventually they'll get the hint that you don't care and shut up. After 50 "hmmm" responses, people realize they should just be quiet. Obviously they aren't trying to hear any advice from you because they think their training knows best. It's sad for them but maybe after a few months of no progress, they'll get a clue or just give up. I wonder if it's not the trainer as much as it is your coworker incorrectly applying the trainer's advice. He probably say 5-6 small meals and you're coworker has an incorrect view of small lol. You could give the perfect advice and they'd still say you were wrong.
Lol, I wish that were true but even when I ignore a specific whine, they still carry on lol. Not so sure subtle hints have much effect lol.mamapeach910 wrote: »I agree that it's probably the coworker, not the trainer. While the whole eating frequently to fire up your metabolism thing is wrongity-wrong, it's a common enough myth.
It also doesn't do anything to prevent weight loss, as long as the calorie goals are being met. Compared to much of the nonsense floating around out there, it's pretty innocuous.
I agree and when it was brought up by them, I did say something along the lines of I'm not sure that makes a difference (so it didnt sound like I was trying to correct them). I guess it could be worse and they could be believing some more ridiculous and out there lol.Hearts_2015 wrote: »
When you continuously complain about a certain topic to another person, you are kind of involving them.Just break up already......
oh wait, not that type of thread.....
If they bring it up, just something like "I don't know, must be something different. Check with your trainer" or something like that
I could be completely wrong, but I'm pretty sure the things they keep talking about are actually told to them by the trainer. They keep saying "well my trainer says..." My initial reaction was I wanted to smack them and say why are you paying for someone to give you bad advice, but kept quiet.
At this point, I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. I have a couple coworkers who like to mention diets or exercise programs they plan to do. Usually I keep my mouth shut, smile and nod, basically just keep out of it. They don't force me into discussing anything and sometimes ask my advice but they never blow off what I have to say with "well, but my TRAINER SAID..." If I had to deal with someone who was constantly trying to engage with me in that manner I would just tell them "obviously, you have a bad trainer" and leave it at that. If they don't want to be chummie with me any more because of that, w/e. This person seems to be really annoying by OP's count. No big loss. You don't have to be best friends with your coworker.0 -
Honestly I take mild offense in situations like that...but just refuse to discuss the topic further.
I have a few friends who have very very strong "beliefs" when it comes to what they eat, and most of it is a bit of this, bit of that (theories and paranoia if you ask me)...but at the end of the day, what they want is to feel good and lose weight, and that is not happening for them and they don't get it.
0 -
i treat it like people who have different political or religious beliefs than me, cause that's how sacred my body temple thing is.0
-
Let your results speak for itself. When you're asked "how do you did it", let them know. Don't hold back. If they want to accept the info then great, if not, it's no skin off your back. Been in the situation too many times.0
-
Unless he's asking you for advice, I'd simply ignore it. If you want to give it a try, you could tell him what i working for him... I used to work with a woman who lost weight tracking her calories using MFP for a little while. Then her trainer friend started giving her "advice" - told her she could eat "whatever she wanted" as long as she was fueling her body. She understood that to mean she could eat Popeye's every day. Then she gained weight, which she was ok with...then gained more...eventually she realized eating Popeye's every day was not what her trainer meant by fueling her body. I said nothing throughout all of this, and just continued eating my healthy lunches and snacks. Eventually she caught on. So...maybe this guy will come around.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions