How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?

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  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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    i didnt read any responses but i'm sure this will be a repeat.

    i dont.
  • levitateme
    levitateme Posts: 999 Member
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    I think most people aren't reading the whole thread. The OP should say "How do you deal with someone that you have to work with closely who literally will not shut up about a topic that he/she is very wrong about when I know the right answers and this person brushes off everything I say with 'WELL MY TRAINER SAID...'?"

    Poison dart.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
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    Normally I deal with it by avoiding the food and nutrition sub-forum....



    ... then I don't have to deal with it.
  • Spocky
    Spocky Posts: 62 Member
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    MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
    Stay out of it. There's a lot u might not know. Maybe their workouts justify those cals. Maybe they dont eat later. Maybe they are trying to build muscle. Etc. Just be hapoy with your sucess and instead of trying to tune out someone who is in the car with you, just turn on the radio after saying something banal, like "hey, thats cool!" Its a coworker ur not in charge of thwir weigt loss, u just have to get along. Yer paycheck dep2nds on it.

    +1 You can't risk creating work-enemies out of them. If their way don't work they will see it after some time.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    yoovie wrote: »
    i treat it like people who have different political or religious beliefs than me, cause that's how sacred my body temple thing is.

    ^This.

    For many people, beliefs about food are like religion to them, as in, something totally sacred and unshakable even with evidence. They're dogmatic, evangelical, entirely convinced that their way is "right" and your way is "wrong", and obsessed with following certain arbitrary beliefs about food and purity based on some sort of false messiah like a self-described guru or trainer. They are also usually convinced that the mainstream scientific world is engaged in a conspiracy to silence the "truth", but they have "seen the light" and know that of course meat/dairy/gluten/GMOs/non-organic produce/soy are bad for you and nobody should eat them, ever.

    You can't logic someone out of a mistaken food belief any more than you can logic them out of a mistaken religious belief.
  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
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    I'll second the "yeay, OP, for respecting coworkers preferred pronouns," and add actual advice on the question at hand.

    It depends. (Aren't I helpful?) Is coworker venting or bringing up a topic that invites your comment? For Example:

    (Through mouthful of one of 5 daily full portioned meals) "It's driving me nuts that I can't lose a pound!"

    To that, you can try one of the following:

    "That sounds frustrating."
    or, if you want to placate or angle away from the complaints:
    "Well, you are lifting a lot, perhaps you're building muscle mass."


    Now, if the coworker is actually inviting you to comment or looking for you to in some way affirm that there are magic beans at work somewhere?

    "I'm working my butt off and can't lose a pound, how come you get to be lucky and drop all that weight?"

    Try one of these:

    "Well, I'm no expert on your physiology, but I personally been having good results from reducing my calorie intake and increasing my cardio workouts and doing some light strength work."

    or

    "Does your trainer monitor your food intake and/or body fat % as part of your training?"

    or, the all time shut down

    "Everyone's experience is different, I guess. How 'bout them Mets?"


    And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    because beliefs are unique to us, our perspective and our brain.

    they start inside and they evolve as our brains do. it's not something you can just convert to or from in under a minute.

    if a person changes from democrat to republican or reverse, that change happens over time.

    if a person changes from JW to Athiest, they don't convert on the spot, it's a change in thinking that happens gradually.

    So there's no point arguing beliefs. You can share experiences and some of it may take seed in their brain, but that's best case scenario.

    There IS a point in staying out of conversations about what two different people believe in differently.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."

    +1
  • johnnylakis
    johnnylakis Posts: 812 Member
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    Haters gonna hate
  • mustloseweight2015
    mustloseweight2015 Posts: 78 Member
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    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    I know that other people weight loss journeys really are none of my business, however...

    Stop right there.

    If you truly understand it's none of your business, there is no "however".

    Unless they specifically ask, just stay out of it - that's my suggestion.

    Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.
  • peter7361
    peter7361 Posts: 20 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    I know that other people weight loss journeys really are none of my business, however I have a work partner that is constantly discussing some very disillusioned ideas about weightloss. They are seeing a personal trainer (which is their business, not mine) but he has given them some really bad broscience ideas about weightloss. The past few weeks I've steadily lost weight and they have not. They started complaining how unfair it is because they work out in the gym etc. however while at work I observe them making really poor food choices.

    My response would probably be to describe what I've done to lose the weight and finish it off with "As you can see, this has worked for me. Maybe you can look into it and see if it would work for you."
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?

    Last time? Knowing that the people I was tired of listening to couldn't pass up even mediocre cupcakes... I bought a dozen cupcakes for the two of them.

    Boom. Headshot.
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
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    I just smile brightly and change the subject to the weather. Everyone has to follow their own path.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."

    I think the poster who wrote that meant it to be taken ironically.
  • JazzFischer1989
    JazzFischer1989 Posts: 531 Member
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    When I hear things like that from people, I suggest MFP to them, lol. If they don't try it, then I don't really have much to say aside from "that sucks" from that point forward.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Even my children, if they keep bringing up an endless problem after ignoring the obvious solution, I cut off. I tell them I'm bored of that subject and change the topic.

    I also agree with the smile and nod, "That's nice".
    http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Thats_Nice
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    bwogilvie wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."

    I think the poster who wrote that meant it to be taken ironically.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-Id_fuXFA
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    mustloseweight2015 wrote: »
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    I know that other people weight loss journeys really are none of my business, however...

    Stop right there.

    If you truly understand it's none of your business, there is no "however".

    Unless they specifically ask, just stay out of it - that's my suggestion.

    Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.

    actually, in the original post, the problem is that the person actually WONT STOP ASKING :)

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    edited December 2014
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    And, seriously, "No offense, but" does NOT work at making people not offended. It's actually a red flag of Incoming Jerkface, up there with "To be perfectly frank" and "I'm not a bigot, BUT...."

    I stand corrected!

    It is kind of a jerky thing to do, saying "No offense, but..." really doesn't make whatever you say next inoffensive. And it is kind of a wimpy, passive-aggressive way to insult someone.

    It is a lot like saying,"I'm not a racist, but..."

    The person who says it does knows there is something wrong with what they about to say, fools nobody and comes off as a bit of a jerk.

    OP, maybe you shouldn't do that, after all. Wouldn't want to seem like some kind of loser!

    Thanks, MFP, for helping me to see the light. :)
  • scrittrice
    scrittrice Posts: 345 Member
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    rybo wrote: »
    Those people are everywhere and also make up about 80% of the population here.

    Exactly. Nod, say, "Uh huh" or something equally noncommittal, and change subject.

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