Cutting out Sugar and Sweets Need Help
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It's a little out of line to pester people to disclose things they don't wish to disclose.Lourdesong wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.
I know I can't..which is why I stated that I had to stop eating sweets. I know the difference between have to and choose to.
I guess I needed to say "this" or "I agree" with the post I had quoted before posting the comment that lead to you questioning my reasons for knowing (not thinking..) I'm not able to do something.
How do you know you can't though? You so far haven't given any reasons, which leads me to believe that it's more that you FEAR you can't eat sweets in moderation. Do you feel guilty when you eat sweets? Do you feel bad about yourself? I've been there. I felt ashamed because I almost always binged. I'd tell myself "just one piece" and then that turned into "just one bar" and then within the span of an hour I'd consumed 3-4 large chocolate bars. Or on saturdays, I work in retail and I used to buy an armful of chocoalte and eat it all on my shift. I wasn't even hungry. It was a combo of binging and a bad relationship with food that made me feel like *kitten* about myself. Once I got rid of the bad relationship with food and simply realized that no food will stop or prevent weight loss, I had no trouble working sweets into my daily caloric intake goals. If I don't have room for a whole candy bar, I will log and eat half. Or I'll have a small piece instead of the actual amount i'd like and I'll still be satisfied.
Why do I need to give you a reason? Why can't you take my comments about knowing I have to cut sweets and leave them be? I'm not the one asking for advice on the subject. I didn't say I needed help deciding. I said I know I can't have them.
And no, I don't fear sugar.
Providing a reason would make it a lot easier to provide advice. It'd be like.. if I went to a psychologist and she asked me why I felt depressed and I just said "I just feel depressed because I do" and refused to tell her why, it'd be very hard to help me out.
Also discussing the reasons why you believe you cannot eat sweets and having others comment on how you might be able to reverse your beliefs so you can enjoy sweets would likely be helpful for any other lurkers who stumble across this, also saying "I can't eat sweets" and then see "hey, her reasons are just like mine, but now I'm seeing others provide ideas about how she might be able to successfully practice moderation" and then that might give others hope in learning how to eat foods they enjoy eating and still lose weight.
You responded to my original post saying that you had to cut out sweets. OP seems to think she needs to cut out sweets as well, so if you were to discuss why you feel the need to cut out sweets (is it for weight loss purposes? Because you have a bad relationship with food?) then it might help OP make better dietary decisions.
I never asked for advice. I'm not wasting anymore of the thread going on and on about this with you. My reasons are valid. I have an understanding for how this whole food thing works.
Most people with depression don't have a reason...so that's a bad comparison.
If the op wants to cut sweets out and thinks it will create a sustainable lifestyle for her, then she should. If she doesn't think she will be able to sustain cutting them out, she should work on moderation. Either way, all that matters for weight loss (sans a medical condition) is a calorie deficit and a sustainable way of eating.
I have suffered from depression since I was in elementary school, and there generally are reasons for being depressed. One doesn't just wake up depressed for no reason. Of course, there are many different causes of depression (mine are genetic and chemical, as well as stemming from general anxiety, PTSD as of 2.5 years ago, experiences with rejection... loneliness and extreme anxiety/stress can pretty much instantly trigger an episodic bout for me), much like there are different causes behind someone thinking they can't eat x food.
I guess if you didn't want to discuss why, you shouldn't have responded to a public forum in which people generally try and get people to be as honest and informative as possible in order to provide the best advice/help as possible, or you should not have replied to and quoted my pro-moderation/sugar post.
ETA: my above "fear" comment related to fear of not being able to successfully practice moderation, not fear of sugar. So do you fear that you cannot practice moderation? Is this something you've tried? And more importantly, do you have a healthy relationship with food? This could be a reason as to why you feel you cannot eat sweets successfully while moderating your intake.
Since the threads already off on a slight tangent I suppose I'll continue..
Thats the great thing about a public forum.. I can post whatever I want and not answer whatever I want as long as it's within the rules.
The funny part is..i never disagreed with your post. I stated that if I didn't HAVE to give up sweets I would not. Why it turned into you needing my reasoning..I will never know.
I highly doubt my reasons align with the OP. If she comes on and gives reason that I have experience with, I will be more than happy to share.
I suspect ana has been digging for more information from you because you essentially said you would eat sweets in moderation if it were up to you, if you had a choice in the matter... but it's apparently not up to you, you know you can't. Therefore, you don't. But if you could, then you would. Right? Or no?
It is not out of line whatsoever for ana or anyone else to wonder why, what reason do you have to not be able to do what you otherwise want to do? Is it psychological, medical? What? Why not elaborate on what you mean by "can't"?
You don't have to, of course. But it would be helpful.
It's way, way, WAY out of line to say she shouldn't post here unless she answers every question people demand be answered.
There is no rule that says anyone has to answer anything.
"None of your business" is sufficient.
^^Agree ,
Also agree on the ignore button. Sure need that back.
edited: deleted part of my original post.0 -
your post makes so much sense...But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals.
Perhaps she cannot personally control her intake of sweet things, which is not a rare situation. Others can't regulate their intake of crackers, ice cream etc. In these cases the individuals concerned do better by eliminating those things and not having them in the house thereby meeting their goals.
Not everyone has your self control to allow them eat a bit less of all the stuff they ate before. They got fat eating all the stuff, and ate to satisfaction, so down-regulating the satisfaction level can be a problem. If you eat your daily calories in (say) ice cream by lunch time you can't un-eat them and that day is blown, repeat until...
As for "medical issues", there's a lot of insulin resistance, impaired glucose tolerance, elevated fasting blood glucose etc around in the overweight population.
I don't really understand why a support forum can't help someone with advice on doing what they want to do, rather than telling them they got it wrong and should "Do it my way".
To those that just can't seem to drop it...why bully someone into doing it in a manner that might work for you. Truly where is the support if someone doesn't want to eat sweets, whatever their reason is.... let it go already! If someone doesn't choose to drink... why do you care?
As the poster I've quoted shared... some of us have issues dealing with moderation, we know that.. so why do you continue to push food on us? Eat your pizza, poptarts, icecream and whatever else you like to eat daily but not everyone enjoys eating that way or finds it best to eat that way. Why continue post after post to push... just let it go already. If someone wants to expound they will.
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^I can only add to this that there are physiological reasons why one can't stop eating sugar or junk food. They can be addictive, especially to sensitive individuals, and override people's reasonable mind. Just because YOU can do whatever you want and be fine, GREAT for YOU! But that is YOU! You are not 100% of the world population and should not be poking, prodding, discouraging people from doing what they feel they need to do. I have no reasonable idea why so many people on MFP defend eating junk to the death because it is "moderation" when someone tries to do better for themselves. I will never understand all this bashing of others on a HEALTHY LIVING site! People have different opinions, and different things that work for them. I am sorry, but if you consult every medical, diet, chiropractic, nutritionist and any other medical professional in your area, not ONE will say "OH NO!! DON'T CUT BACK SUGAR!! That candy and donut provide valuable nutrients!!"
perfect fit!!!but then why would she not be able to control the intake?
That's her issue, not mine. There are plenty of things she can do to help "Cutting out Sugar and Sweets" that aren't going to cause her problems or harm. Many find it effective.
"Now I do not believe you wanted to do that, did you?" can be tiring, even if well intended.
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Some people, such as myself, find the idea of moderation to be liberating. TBH, the "off-limits" and and that's "bad/evil/processed/sugar-carbs/McDonalds/etc, therefore, avoid it or else you're a big fat failure" is a ubiquitous line of reasoning.
It's liberating and refreshing to know moderation is possible, even for someone like me who thought it wasn't. Who thought that one 135 calorie Twinkie would wreck everything.-1 -
Sometimes it takes staying away from some of the foods to learn moderation on them. Least that's how it's worked for me on certain foods, I've learned I can take it or leave it on some foods I couldn't control before. Some I still have issues with... we all relearn our food habits in different ways. I don't think of cookies as evil...not even sure what that means, evil cookies?Lourdesong wrote: »Some people, such as myself, find the idea of moderation to be liberating. TBH, the "off-limits" and and that's "bad/evil/processed/sugar-carbs/McDonalds/etc, therefore, avoid it or else you're a big fat failure" is a ubiquitous line of reasoning.
It's liberating and refreshing to know moderation is possible, even for someone like me who thought it wasn't. Who thought that one 135 calorie Twinkie would wreck everything.
I'm not fond of twinkies myself but am glad you can eat them and not feel like "you're a bit fat failure". I'm not sure what would make you think that after eating your twinkie.
I'm glad your way works for you.
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Well I think Oreos are evil ! A bag of them crawled in my bed last night and kept whispering eat me, eat me. I finally had to get up and eat the whole bag to make them shut up.
Now I gotta work all week to work em off. Little buggers.
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I'll swap out sweets for fresh fruit. Like instead of eating candy at work I'll eat mango or strawberry slices. It's a nice trade out because it's still very sweet and tasty and you're still satisfying the sugar craving, but it's healthier and lower in calories.0
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Hearts_2015 wrote: »
Sometimes it takes staying away from some of the foods to learn moderation on them. Least that's how it's worked for me on certain foods, I've learned I can take it or leave it on some foods I couldn't control before. Some I still have issues with... we all relearn our food habits in different ways. I don't think of cookies as evil...not even sure what that means, evil cookies?Lourdesong wrote: »Some people, such as myself, find the idea of moderation to be liberating. TBH, the "off-limits" and and that's "bad/evil/processed/sugar-carbs/McDonalds/etc, therefore, avoid it or else you're a big fat failure" is a ubiquitous line of reasoning.
It's liberating and refreshing to know moderation is possible, even for someone like me who thought it wasn't. Who thought that one 135 calorie Twinkie would wreck everything.
I'm not fond of twinkies myself but am glad you can eat them and not feel like "you're a bit fat failure". I'm not sure what would make you think that after eating your twinkie.
I'm glad your way works for you.
What would make me think Twinkies are evil is if I believed sugar is evil, and processed food is evil, and carbs are evil, and anything I delight in eating is somehow proof that it's evil. Any food that isn't vitamin rich and whole and organic and grass-fed and local is evil.
Or, that I had 2 choices: No Twinkies. Or a whole box of Twinkies in one sitting on the floor in my shame-closet.
This kind of thinking did not help me whatsoever.
However, the discovery that I could have one Twinkie, (or whatever off-limits food) whenever I fancied one, and as long as I stayed within my calorie goals, for weightloss it really doesn't matter if I have a Twinkie or a bag of broccoli or whatever... was liberating.
So, when I see a zeal for irrational restriction, it appears to me like a zeal for chains and bars and self-flagellation. It also seems to me to be rare that someone is a super special circumstance where moderation is not possible.
I guess I find it a little annoying when some posters assume that their desire to binge and pig out on the foods they find palatable is "super special unique." As if most people don't have the same desire to consume their most favorites to excess.
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I've lost 64lbs in 6 months practicing moderation. Eating less, moving more.
Boring, I know. Not as exciting or sexy as losing 64 lbs by casting out the evil sugar demon from my life.-3 -
I have a treat daily and have given up nothing. It's about learning moderation, not deprivation (to me my chocolate). Pre-log your day, as it helps tremendously.0
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Lourdesong wrote: »I guess I find it a little annoying when some posters assume that their desire to binge and pig out on the foods they find palatable is "super special unique." As if most people don't have the same desire to consume their most favorites to excess.
You are right -- many people think their desire to pig out is unique, when it isn't. Bingers especially feel they are unique because when they say "I can't stop eating" they are told "just eat in moderation!" and when they try to eat in moderation, and fail, they feel like everyone else can do it but them. The advice "just eat in moderation" actually creates the environment that makes them feel special.
And Ana and you are right in that many people demonize a certain food they love, and end up in a struggle with it, when if they just accepted it, they could have a normal relationship to it.
For people like me, the binging cycle is both so short (binging every or every other day) and so fierce (binging on 4,000 - 6,000 calories at a time) that I could never escape the food fog (comatose on the couch, mind not sharp) enough to have the time to develop the healthy relationship with food that you and Ana are talking about.
If, when I was binging, I tried your method and limited my snacking to fitting within my calories, I would either 1. snap and binge, or 2. be viciously angry until I did get to binge. I do remember my shortest diet -- 2 hours before I cracked. And LA Weight Loss? I was supposed to eat 2 candy bars a day. I ate the entire box of candy bars -- a month's worth -- in a week, even though I was also eating a nutritious breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The candy bars were supposed to be the moderation part.
After I eliminated the desserts, I was finally able to develop a healthy relationship with food. Instead of being afraid of the kitchen and hating grocery shopping, I learned to cook and to shop. I learned what a serving size actually looks like. I learned what a balanced meal looks like, and I learned how much I loved vegetables, which I always thought I hated. I learned to say no to overeating, no matter how tasty the last 2 inches of that sub or steak might be.
It's quite possible that I could do the same with desserts. You may be absolutely right, I could have one or two bites of pumpkin pie and be quite capable of pushing the plate away.
However, two things make me pause. One, I've had a spoonful of this or that over the years. My husband is an inventive baker, and he makes interesting pies all the time. I've tasted the more unusual ones, and the second that pie hits my mouth, I feel all kinds of *kitten* start happening in my tastebuds, my saliva glands, and my brain that doesn't happen that quickly and that strongly with any other food.
The second thing that makes me pause is my history with dessert. I was once at a point where I would throw cookies away, then fish them out of the garbage and eat them. I don't ever want to go back to that shame and humiliation.
I really really really appreciate the point you and Ana are making about developing a healthy relationship with food, but not everyone's healthy relationship looks the same. For some people, eating all foods in moderation is a healthy relationship with food. For me, eliminating desserts is what allowed me to finally have a healthy relationship with food.0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.
I know I can't..which is why I stated that I had to stop eating sweets. I know the difference between have to and choose to.
I guess I needed to say "this" or "I agree" with the post I had quoted before posting the comment that lead to you questioning my reasons for knowing (not thinking..) I'm not able to do something.
How do you know you can't though? You so far haven't given any reasons, which leads me to believe that it's more that you FEAR you can't eat sweets in moderation. Do you feel guilty when you eat sweets? Do you feel bad about yourself? I've been there. I felt ashamed because I almost always binged. I'd tell myself "just one piece" and then that turned into "just one bar" and then within the span of an hour I'd consumed 3-4 large chocolate bars. Or on saturdays, I work in retail and I used to buy an armful of chocoalte and eat it all on my shift. I wasn't even hungry. It was a combo of binging and a bad relationship with food that made me feel like *kitten* about myself. Once I got rid of the bad relationship with food and simply realized that no food will stop or prevent weight loss, I had no trouble working sweets into my daily caloric intake goals. If I don't have room for a whole candy bar, I will log and eat half. Or I'll have a small piece instead of the actual amount i'd like and I'll still be satisfied.
Why do I need to give you a reason? Why can't you take my comments about knowing I have to cut sweets and leave them be? I'm not the one asking for advice on the subject. I didn't say I needed help deciding. I said I know I can't have them.
And no, I don't fear sugar.
Providing a reason would make it a lot easier to provide advice. It'd be like.. if I went to a psychologist and she asked me why I felt depressed and I just said "I just feel depressed because I do" and refused to tell her why, it'd be very hard to help me out.
Also discussing the reasons why you believe you cannot eat sweets and having others comment on how you might be able to reverse your beliefs so you can enjoy sweets would likely be helpful for any other lurkers who stumble across this, also saying "I can't eat sweets" and then see "hey, her reasons are just like mine, but now I'm seeing others provide ideas about how she might be able to successfully practice moderation" and then that might give others hope in learning how to eat foods they enjoy eating and still lose weight.
You responded to my original post saying that you had to cut out sweets. OP seems to think she needs to cut out sweets as well, so if you were to discuss why you feel the need to cut out sweets (is it for weight loss purposes? Because you have a bad relationship with food?) then it might help OP make better dietary decisions.
I never asked for advice. I'm not wasting anymore of the thread going on and on about this with you. My reasons are valid. I have an understanding for how this whole food thing works.
Most people with depression don't have a reason...so that's a bad comparison.
If the op wants to cut sweets out and thinks it will create a sustainable lifestyle for her, then she should. If she doesn't think she will be able to sustain cutting them out, she should work on moderation. Either way, all that matters for weight loss (sans a medical condition) is a calorie deficit and a sustainable way of eating.
I have suffered from depression since I was in elementary school, and there generally are reasons for being depressed. One doesn't just wake up depressed for no reason. Of course, there are many different causes of depression (mine are genetic and chemical, as well as stemming from general anxiety, PTSD as of 2.5 years ago, experiences with rejection... loneliness and extreme anxiety/stress can pretty much instantly trigger an episodic bout for me), much like there are different causes behind someone thinking they can't eat x food.
I guess if you didn't want to discuss why, you shouldn't have responded to a public forum in which people generally try and get people to be as honest and informative as possible in order to provide the best advice/help as possible, or you should not have replied to and quoted my pro-moderation/sugar post.
ETA: my above "fear" comment related to fear of not being able to successfully practice moderation, not fear of sugar. So do you fear that you cannot practice moderation? Is this something you've tried? And more importantly, do you have a healthy relationship with food? This could be a reason as to why you feel you cannot eat sweets successfully while moderating your intake.
Since the threads already off on a slight tangent I suppose I'll continue..
Thats the great thing about a public forum.. I can post whatever I want and not answer whatever I want as long as it's within the rules.
The funny part is..i never disagreed with your post. I stated that if I didn't HAVE to give up sweets I would not. Why it turned into you needing my reasoning..I will never know.
I highly doubt my reasons align with the OP. If she comes on and gives reason that I have experience with, I will be more than happy to share.
I suspect ana has been digging for more information from you because you essentially said you would eat sweets in moderation if it were up to you, if you had a choice in the matter... but it's apparently not up to you, you know you can't. Therefore, you don't. But if you could, then you would. Right? Or no?
It is not out of line whatsoever for ana or anyone else to wonder why, what reason do you have to not be able to do what you otherwise want to do? Is it psychological, medical? What? Why not elaborate on what you mean by "can't"?
You don't have to, of course. But it would be helpful.
Right. I know I can't. I've said that multiple times already. And as I've already stated, my reasons are probably not the OPs reasons. If she decides to answer with hers and they happen to be the same (which I doubt), I will provide help for her.
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blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.
I know I can't..which is why I stated that I had to stop eating sweets. I know the difference between have to and choose to.
I guess I needed to say "this" or "I agree" with the post I had quoted before posting the comment that lead to you questioning my reasons for knowing (not thinking..) I'm not able to do something.
How do you know you can't though? You so far haven't given any reasons, which leads me to believe that it's more that you FEAR you can't eat sweets in moderation. Do you feel guilty when you eat sweets? Do you feel bad about yourself? I've been there. I felt ashamed because I almost always binged. I'd tell myself "just one piece" and then that turned into "just one bar" and then within the span of an hour I'd consumed 3-4 large chocolate bars. Or on saturdays, I work in retail and I used to buy an armful of chocoalte and eat it all on my shift. I wasn't even hungry. It was a combo of binging and a bad relationship with food that made me feel like *kitten* about myself. Once I got rid of the bad relationship with food and simply realized that no food will stop or prevent weight loss, I had no trouble working sweets into my daily caloric intake goals. If I don't have room for a whole candy bar, I will log and eat half. Or I'll have a small piece instead of the actual amount i'd like and I'll still be satisfied.
Why do I need to give you a reason? Why can't you take my comments about knowing I have to cut sweets and leave them be? I'm not the one asking for advice on the subject. I didn't say I needed help deciding. I said I know I can't have them.
And no, I don't fear sugar.
Providing a reason would make it a lot easier to provide advice. It'd be like.. if I went to a psychologist and she asked me why I felt depressed and I just said "I just feel depressed because I do" and refused to tell her why, it'd be very hard to help me out.
Also discussing the reasons why you believe you cannot eat sweets and having others comment on how you might be able to reverse your beliefs so you can enjoy sweets would likely be helpful for any other lurkers who stumble across this, also saying "I can't eat sweets" and then see "hey, her reasons are just like mine, but now I'm seeing others provide ideas about how she might be able to successfully practice moderation" and then that might give others hope in learning how to eat foods they enjoy eating and still lose weight.
You responded to my original post saying that you had to cut out sweets. OP seems to think she needs to cut out sweets as well, so if you were to discuss why you feel the need to cut out sweets (is it for weight loss purposes? Because you have a bad relationship with food?) then it might help OP make better dietary decisions.
I never asked for advice. I'm not wasting anymore of the thread going on and on about this with you. My reasons are valid. I have an understanding for how this whole food thing works.
Most people with depression don't have a reason...so that's a bad comparison.
If the op wants to cut sweets out and thinks it will create a sustainable lifestyle for her, then she should. If she doesn't think she will be able to sustain cutting them out, she should work on moderation. Either way, all that matters for weight loss (sans a medical condition) is a calorie deficit and a sustainable way of eating.
I have suffered from depression since I was in elementary school, and there generally are reasons for being depressed. One doesn't just wake up depressed for no reason. Of course, there are many different causes of depression (mine are genetic and chemical, as well as stemming from general anxiety, PTSD as of 2.5 years ago, experiences with rejection... loneliness and extreme anxiety/stress can pretty much instantly trigger an episodic bout for me), much like there are different causes behind someone thinking they can't eat x food.
I guess if you didn't want to discuss why, you shouldn't have responded to a public forum in which people generally try and get people to be as honest and informative as possible in order to provide the best advice/help as possible, or you should not have replied to and quoted my pro-moderation/sugar post.
ETA: my above "fear" comment related to fear of not being able to successfully practice moderation, not fear of sugar. So do you fear that you cannot practice moderation? Is this something you've tried? And more importantly, do you have a healthy relationship with food? This could be a reason as to why you feel you cannot eat sweets successfully while moderating your intake.
Why was this flagged? Is being mildly annoying flag worthy?0 -
It's easy to get rid of simple carbs - Just stop buying them - No cane sugar, no honey, no fruit, no maple syrup, no golden syrup, no chocolate! Cutting back is a common path to failure - total abstinence is the best way to success. Throw out all the simple carbs that you have and substitute stevia only when sweetness is absolutely necessary. On occasions where you would normally eat sweets, try savouries instead.
Getting rid of simple carbs leaves space in your calorie count for more nutrient rich foods.
Guess I didn't actually lose 25lbs while still eating my fruit, honey, maple syrup, chocolate, also GF baked goods and other simple carbs.
just cuz
No one said you didn't. oh all knowing one.0 -
Duh! SHE HAS TO (she thinks). Therefore everyone does. :laugh:
Do you have any sources for this idea of yours that everyone must include junk food or else they'll binge and gain weight?blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.0 -
OP: you may find that after you recalibrate (by taking a couple of weeks of no sweets), you can easily control your sweet tooth. If that's you, awesome! All the better.
Also, I find that if my "sweet treat" is a small piece of dark dark chocolate (like 1/3 of a candy bar) I don't feel the need to eat more. It hits the spot perfectly.
Good luck finding what works for you, and ignore the folks who demand that you MUST eat junk food and sweets (it's a rather odd form of pressure, that in the real world would definitely be deemed socially unacceptable, but for some reason is A-OK on this "fitness" website).0 -
+1 ana's posts are rather off putting, but perhaps she's still working through those food demons.
You don't.blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.
I know I can't..which is why I stated that I had to stop eating sweets. I know the difference between have to and choose to.
I guess I needed to say "this" or "I agree" with the post I had quoted before posting the comment that lead to you questioning my reasons for knowing (not thinking..) I'm not able to do something.
How do you know you can't though? You so far haven't given any reasons, which leads me to believe that it's more that you FEAR you can't eat sweets in moderation. Do you feel guilty when you eat sweets? Do you feel bad about yourself? I've been there. I felt ashamed because I almost always binged. I'd tell myself "just one piece" and then that turned into "just one bar" and then within the span of an hour I'd consumed 3-4 large chocolate bars. Or on saturdays, I work in retail and I used to buy an armful of chocoalte and eat it all on my shift. I wasn't even hungry. It was a combo of binging and a bad relationship with food that made me feel like *kitten* about myself. Once I got rid of the bad relationship with food and simply realized that no food will stop or prevent weight loss, I had no trouble working sweets into my daily caloric intake goals. If I don't have room for a whole candy bar, I will log and eat half. Or I'll have a small piece instead of the actual amount i'd like and I'll still be satisfied.
Why do I need to give you a reason?
(perhaps she's a budding undergrad psych major lol)0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »OP: you may find that after you recalibrate (by taking a couple of weeks of no sweets), you can easily control your sweet tooth. If that's you, awesome! All the better.
Also, I find that if my "sweet treat" is a small piece of dark dark chocolate (like 1/3 of a candy bar) I don't feel the need to eat more. It hits the spot perfectly.
Good luck finding what works for you, and ignore the folks who demand that you MUST eat junk food and sweets (it's a rather odd form of pressure, that in the real world would definitely be deemed socially unacceptable, but for some reason is A-OK on this "fitness" website).
LOL and the restrict whole food group makes sense too …
If OP is already losing weight eating sugar then what is the point of cutting it out?0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
+1 ana's posts are rather off putting, but perhaps she's still working through those food demons.
You don't.blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »blktngldhrt wrote: »Honestly I would not cut them out, just factor them into your calorie allotment for the day.
Yep. I always try to make room for some ice cream in my calories.
Third. Unless there are medical reasons for cutting out sweets (diabetes namely) then there is no reason to not eat them. Know your goals, log what you are interested in eating, and if it fits your goals then eat it. If it doesn't then change the serving until it does, or just eat it tomorrow.
If I didn't HAVE to give up sweets, I wouldn't have.
But why you you believe you have to give them up? Is the reason due to a medical condition? Or do you just think that eating sweets = gain weight/not lose weight? Is this OP's reasoning as well?
Because sweets don't cause or hinder weight loss; caloric surplus hinders weight loss, and caloric deficit causes weight loss. I've been eating sweets since before I started losing weight, I binged on sweets frequently too. Chocolate was my vice. Now? I know my caloric goals and I have no problem logging x amount of chocolate and just eating that. I ate chocolat etonight and sure, I'd be down for eating more, but I have no problem with not eating more of it because I know it doesn't fit my goals for today.
So again, unless there are medical reasons, there is no 'have to' for cutting out any foods. I don't eat gluten, but this is because if I do eat it I have very bad digestive symptoms. So for me it's a "have to" situation. But eating the GF alternatives doesn't cause issues, so I eat those. Any food can be worked into one's diet and caloric goals if the person enjoys the food. I have had the "i can't eat this because I'll get fat" mindset, didn't work. Also had the "I can just exercise this off" mindset. That was back when I thought exercise = weight loss, though.
I can't eat sweets. I would eat them, in moderation, if I could.
But WHY do you think you cannot eat sweets? Is it because you have a medical condition? Or is it because you simply don't think that you can eat them within your caloric needs? If you are successfully able to eat every other type of food within your caloric goals then there is no real reason that you cannot try eating sweets within your goals. I went from eating 3-4 boxes of chocolate in a sitting to eating a few pieces, and the only difference is that I now actually understand my caloric goals and I don't put limits on anything (i.e. I don't say "I can only eat chips on special occasions/once a month/etc"). Where I once used to hate myself and feel guilty for eating chocolate because I would binge on it, I now can log two pieces without blinking an eye and just... eat it. I just enjoy food now. So there is no "can't" with food unless there are medical reasons behind this reasoning. It's really just about developing a healthy relationship with food, which will ideally enable you to enjoy food in moderation without resorting to binging.
I know I can't..which is why I stated that I had to stop eating sweets. I know the difference between have to and choose to.
I guess I needed to say "this" or "I agree" with the post I had quoted before posting the comment that lead to you questioning my reasons for knowing (not thinking..) I'm not able to do something.
How do you know you can't though? You so far haven't given any reasons, which leads me to believe that it's more that you FEAR you can't eat sweets in moderation. Do you feel guilty when you eat sweets? Do you feel bad about yourself? I've been there. I felt ashamed because I almost always binged. I'd tell myself "just one piece" and then that turned into "just one bar" and then within the span of an hour I'd consumed 3-4 large chocolate bars. Or on saturdays, I work in retail and I used to buy an armful of chocoalte and eat it all on my shift. I wasn't even hungry. It was a combo of binging and a bad relationship with food that made me feel like *kitten* about myself. Once I got rid of the bad relationship with food and simply realized that no food will stop or prevent weight loss, I had no trouble working sweets into my daily caloric intake goals. If I don't have room for a whole candy bar, I will log and eat half. Or I'll have a small piece instead of the actual amount i'd like and I'll still be satisfied.
Why do I need to give you a reason?
(perhaps she's a budding undergrad psych major lol)
hmmm and yours are so enlightening….0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »OP: you may find that after you recalibrate (by taking a couple of weeks of no sweets), you can easily control your sweet tooth. If that's you, awesome! All the better.
Also, I find that if my "sweet treat" is a small piece of dark dark chocolate (like 1/3 of a candy bar) I don't feel the need to eat more. It hits the spot perfectly.
Good luck finding what works for you, and ignore the folks who demand that you MUST eat junk food and sweets (it's a rather odd form of pressure, that in the real world would definitely be deemed socially unacceptable, but for some reason is A-OK on this "fitness" website).
LOL and the restrict whole food group makes sense too …
If OP is already losing weight eating sugar then what is the point of cutting it out?
Well, captain, she wants to reduce her intake of sweets. It's not a dangerous, unhealthy thing to do, so I offered her my thoughts on it. As did you.
ps: "sweets" isn't really a "food group".0
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