Let's be nice to the newbies

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  • AKDonF
    AKDonF Posts: 235 Member
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    One of the easiest ways to get someone hurt is ego lifting. Ego lifting is all about what others think. No need to fuel the fire. In the gym it is ME against ME.

    Help newbies understand that and you will be doing them a service.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    stumblinthrulife wrote: »
    dbmata wrote: »
    stumblinthrulife wrote: »
    JoRocka wrote: »
    I'd say also given how often someone cries "unsupportive" or 'bullying' because people disagree- that their sense of persception about what someone being an "*kitten*" really means.

    Agreed. Though I can see their side. I'm quite a self-conscious person, and when you are self-conscious it is easy to be absolutely convinced that everyone is staring at you and judging you. Thankfully over the years I've also developed a good degree of self-awareness and I can silence that treacherous voice in my head that says everyone is laughing.

    It can take a while to learn that in reality, no one really gives a darn what you are doing.

    I am looking at you and judging you.

    So what. Did that change a single thing in your life? No.

    You are right, no denying it. Sticks and stones, and all that. However, a little empathy would go a long way in this discussion.

    The point is that highly self-conscious people struggle with social phobia and fear of public humiliation every day. There's nothing rational about it, just as there is nothing rational about any other phobia that thousands of people have. However it is real, and just smugly telling people that the judgement of others has no impact on them never helped any one get over it.

    I find the projecting you did to be quite interesting. I can empathize, but I won't patronize you and tell you that it's totes cool brah.

    Unless you're someone of name and resource, you're no one, and no one cares about you. So their judgement is what? Oh look at those glasses. BFD.

    It's not a matter of sticks and stones, it's a matter of nutting up and not giving a fig about the thoughts of the irrelevant.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    AKDonF wrote: »
    One of the easiest ways to get someone hurt is ego lifting. Ego lifting is all about what others think. No need to fuel the fire. In the gym it is ME against ME.

    Help newbies understand that and you will be doing them a service.

    Or use it as a weapon against the really annoying guys. "Oh nice, when are you going to do your main set?"
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    AKDonF wrote: »
    One of the easiest ways to get someone hurt is ego lifting. Ego lifting is all about what others think. No need to fuel the fire. In the gym it is ME against ME.

    Help newbies understand that and you will be doing them a service.

    Or use it as a weapon against the really annoying guys. "Oh nice, when are you going to do your main set?"

    I don't know what you are talking about. 20 pounds over my 1 rep max done for 1 partial rep with help from a spotter is my main set.

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