Does Anyone Notice The Rampant Negativity Here?

dale530

cwlsr wrote: »

I will keep it short! As a fairly new user of MFP I don't mind the negative comments as much as I do the child like or immature comments when someone has asked a serious question or made a serious remark. I just shoot past those comments when I see that they are not serious.

THIS!!!

999tigger

lindsayforlife wrote: »

Just because I don't post much doesn't mean I'm not an active member - I have numerous friends and such that I support through MFP and they support me in return through private messaging.

And really look at my original posting. All I was saying was that there is a ton of negativity on the boards and this thread proved that point. Instead of respondents agreeing or disagreeing in an appropriate way, offering suggestions for how to improve the status quo - my post has been met with attacks. Maybe I'm not adept at the forum concept but it seems really counter-intuitive to make the message boards so unwelcoming.

Just appears to me you are having a swipe at everyone, especially the people who do take the time to answer other peoples threads and the same old questions time and again. Have to say 80 posts in 4 years doesnt strike me as the most active poster, just helping your friends isnt helping the vast majority and encouraging the newcomers or one off posters. If you are going to take a swipe at many of the people who day after day help answer the same questions, then its hardly suprising people arent impressed.

Hopefully we will now see you setting the example and being a very active forum member taking the time to advise not just your closed circle of friends but anyone posting on the forum. Whilst there is some negativity on the forum from some posters, then what do you expect from a site that has hundreds of thousands of members? What I did find irksome about your post was that you failed to recognise or acknowledge the hard work and support that does come from these boards all the time because it didnt fit your message or you simply dont look or appreciate much of the good advice that is given here.

Sarauk2sf

lindsayforlife wrote: »

Just because I don't post much doesn't mean I'm not an active member - I have numerous friends and such that I support through MFP and they support me in return through private messaging.

And really look at my original posting. All I was saying was that there is a ton of negativity on the boards and this thread proved that point. Instead of respondents agreeing or disagreeing in an appropriate way, offering suggestions for how to improve the status quo - my post has been met with attacks. Maybe I'm not adept at the forum concept but it seems really counter-intuitive to make the message boards so unwelcoming.

You have an issue with people not agreeing with you, but no issue with the poster who agreed with you and cussed someone out?

Also, your logic is a bit awry here. If people are saying they do not really see it, or do not see it as a problem, then why would they offer suggestions to improve the status quo?

Disagreeing =/= attack.

I am not saying that there are not some posts that are unnecessarily snarky on these forums, just explaining that your logic is off.

Sinistrous

^
Perhaps to the user being active means keeping up with their diary and their friends. Not a lot of people frequent forums, as it is hard for them to keep up with different people and/or they may not have a PC?

I tried to view forums on my phone. Big no no. Disaster. Those of you that are able to. POWER TO YA! The threads are so difficult to follow, my goodness.

Sinistrous

OP: Also, the tone in which someone types a post cannot be heard, so a good policy would be to ask and assume that they typed what they said with the best intentions if they are not directly attacking what was originally said.
You can ask for clarification if you do not get their tone, perhaps. If you feel they are being rude, say okay and move on. Don't give into it. Some people need drama in their lives to function, as I said earlier.

Jacwhite22

lindsayforlife wrote: »

Ya, maybe the problem is me.

Maybe...

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Sinistrous

_ronrob_ wrote: »

How can I detect the color and tone of someone's words when they've already taken care of coloring and toning them?

And don't they know that toning isn't a real thing?

Your words are impossible. :grumble:

How dare you judge my spot reduction! I'm telling mom.

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lindsayforlife

For anyone that is interested, I have created a private group called "Rainbows, Kittens and Glitter Farts" - for those of us that want a softer approach to support. Judging by the 43 friend requests and 16 emails from like minded people I had this morning, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks everyone for the, er...feedback.

skullshank

lindsayforlife wrote: »

For anyone that is interested, I have created a private group called "Rainbows, Kittens and Glitter Farts" - for those of us that want a softer approach to support. Judging by the 43 friend requests and 16 emails from like minded people I had this morning, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks everyone for the, er...feedback.

jofjltncb6

lindsayforlife wrote: »

For anyone that is interested, I have created a private group called "Rainbows, Kittens and Glitter Farts" - for those of us that want a softer approach to support. Judging by the 43 friend requests and 16 emails from like minded people I had this morning, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks everyone for the, er...feedback.

Not surprising at all. There seems to be a very strong desire for those who find "meanness" everywhere to want to find others who agree with them. That's true of most people though...to want to find those with common beliefs.

What will be interesting in your group is to watch the dynamics. In the absence of those willing to call others out when what they say is bogus, you'll have more and more Very Bad Ideas™. Inevitably, a few people will feel compelled to speak out. Sure, they'll couch it in warm fuzzy words and feelings and glitter and rainbows, but they'll say something...and when their advice is rejected and the VBIs continue, they'll have a choice to make: either stay and try to make a difference or leave the group entirely.

Alternatively, the group will be dormant in a month...because what people want isn't a lack of "meanness", but an opportunity to claim to be a victim of it.

Crazy talk, right? Wouldn't possibly happen, right? What do I know about any of this, right?

Make a note in your calendar to give us an update a few months from now. Maybe you'll be able to tell me that I was completely wrong.

snowflake954

lawlifehanna wrote: »

bennettinfinity wrote: »

It sounds like you had a choice and chose to focus on what you perceived to be the 'negative'. In public forums you need to learn to glean what you want and leave the rest behind... unless you like the drama.

You are correct, that's what I did and that's what I need to learn. However, it doesn't change the fact that calling other people stupid or hypocrites is mean, and that's what this thread is about. I realize that threads being "stolen" is just the way of the internet, but that's still the original point. It's not about how the people react to name-calling, it's about the name-calling itself. Oh, and I did also take the advice. I just didn't put it to use until last week, when I decided to start learning exactly what you suggested and make a comeback.

I'm confident that most people in MFP are actually really nice people. We just need to remember that we're all exactly that. People.

Yes, I'm the kind of girl who believes in love and peace and probably farts rainbows and fairy dust.

If that's true

---

then you'll fit in just fine. Wecome back to MFP.

WinoGelato

Perfect opportunity to post the link to this very helpful clarification about what constitutes bullying... Thanks Jof!


http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/30775761#Comment_30775761

Is it Bullying? What is It?

jofjltncb6 wrote: »

Interesting communication from local elementary school. (And yes, the bolded part was actually bolded in their original communication.) Glad to see that they are addressing the inappropriate application of certain words. I wonder if the children will be able to understand these distinctions better than many adults here seem to do.

Is it Bullying? What is It?
When incidents are reported to us we address them with students within the framework of the Fab 4 or our Core Values: Respect, Responsibility, Caring and Trustworthiness. After looking into some incidents reported to us as Bullying, we find the word Bullying is overused or misused.
At [school name], we want students to understand the differences among: Teasing, Conflict, a Mean Moment and Bullying. In assemblies and in classes with their Buddy, students are learning:

Teasing occurs when everyone is having fun, no one gets hurt and everyone is participating equally,

Conflict occurs when no one is having fun, there is a possible solution to the disagreement and there is an equal balance of power,

Mean Moment is when someone is being hurt on purpose and it is an isolated event (does not happen regularly), and

Bullying occurs when someone is physically, socially or emotionally attacked, and being hurt on purpose. It happens more than once over a period of time and there is an unequal balance of power.

Please use these terms at home with your child to help reinforce their meanings.