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Does Anyone Notice The Rampant Negativity Here?
Replies
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emily_stew wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.
I made a new account and don't remember the title anymore, so unfortunately I don't think I can find that anymore, drowned in months of new threads on top of it. I do still remember the day, though: I came back home from somewhere, excited to see if somebody had answered my question with some advice. To the credit of many in this forum, there were several people with actual, helpful answers, and even people telling those who were mean to back off. Still, the mean people were so mean I no longer wanted anything to do with it, so I don't know how that ended and whether the people calling me names got some repercussions or not, since I never went back to that thread.
So you're saying you got some good advice, some not-good advice, and some junk thrown in there too? I'm not seeing what's so terrible about that. It sounds like just about every other life experience.
I see that so often in threads, and it frustrates me no end. Someone asks a question, a bunch of people give well thought out answers, others may be more harsh, the OP comes back, loses their *kitten* over the harsh posts, COMPLETELY ignores the well thought out ones, rage quits and poof. Makes you not want to bother with the well thought out answers, sometimes. If we're all adults, how about people learn to ignore the posts they don't like and appreciate the "nice" ones (nice is in quotes because I'm not inferring that the harsh ones aren't just as useful), rather than focussing on what they percieve as negative and completely negating the ones that they go on to admit were helpful?0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »It's been my experience that every single helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will eventually be called out as a mean, hateful, negative bully at some point or another no matter how many smilies they add to their posts.
Seriously, I've been called mean/troll for: using copy/paste advice posts, suggesting that someone who feels sick after eating breakfast doesn't need to eat breakfast, linking people to the sexypants thread, asking people further questions about what their routine looks like when they ask for help, because I called someone out when they implied that asking someone to open their diary is bullying.
Because the accusation gets thrown around so often, threads like this actually add to the negative atmosphere instead of helping it. When everyone on the boards gets called mean on a regular basis, any post that calls out the "mean people" without specifying who they are talking about will end up attacking everyone.
There is some negativity and aggressiveness on these boards that goes above and beyond what should be here. But it's not the norm and is often called out when these regulars that you seem to dislike see it. Report it (use the actual report function, not the flags that no one pays attention to) or call it out where you see it, but posts like this are never going to solve the problem that you think exists.
Very well said0 -
LOLwut?
:huh:
Ooooh...or the other option, of course. Troll.
Are you new here?
And in what way is calling me names for not understanding your post an example of the positivity you wish to see in others?
You claim the negativity is a problem. I disagree and ask that you provide examples because I haven't seen them. Your response is to say I must be new because I haven't seen these examples you claim are so widespread.
Which reminds me...that I believe a common problem in disagreements in the forums here is a failure to use basic logic (in addition to an inability/unwillingness to provide support for even the most basic assertions).0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »It's been my experience that every single helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will eventually be called out as a mean, hateful, negative bully at some point or another no matter how many smilies they add to their posts.
Seriously, I've been called mean/troll for: using copy/paste advice posts, suggesting that someone who feels sick after eating breakfast doesn't need to eat breakfast, linking people to the sexypants thread, asking people further questions about what their routine looks like when they ask for help, because I called someone out when they implied that asking someone to open their diary is bullying.
Because the accusation gets thrown around so often, threads like this actually add to the negative atmosphere instead of helping it. When everyone on the boards gets called mean on a regular basis, any post that calls out the "mean people" without specifying who they are talking about will end up attacking everyone.
There is some negativity and aggressiveness on these boards that goes above and beyond what should be here. But it's not the norm and is often called out when these regulars that you seem to dislike see it. Report it (use the actual report function, not the flags that no one pays attention to) or call it out where you see it, but posts like this are never going to solve the problem that you think exists.
Very well said
Aww, thanks. The same post earned me an abuse flag on a previous mean people thread :drinker:
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diannethegeek wrote: »It's been my experience that every single helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will eventually be called out as a mean, hateful, negative bully at some point or another no matter how many smilies they add to their posts.
Seriously, I've been called mean/troll for: using copy/paste advice posts, suggesting that someone who feels sick after eating breakfast doesn't need to eat breakfast, linking people to the sexypants thread, asking people further questions about what their routine looks like when they ask for help, because I called someone out when they implied that asking someone to open their diary is bullying.
Because the accusation gets thrown around so often, threads like this actually add to the negative atmosphere instead of helping it. When everyone on the boards gets called mean on a regular basis, any post that calls out the "mean people" without specifying who they are talking about will end up attacking everyone.
There is some negativity and aggressiveness on these boards that goes above and beyond what should be here. But it's not the norm and is often called out when these regulars that you seem to dislike see it. Report it (use the actual report function, not the flags that no one pays attention to) or call it out where you see it, but posts like this are never going to solve the problem that you think exists.
Very well said
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
Checks number of posts made by jof... *laughs hysterically*
Then asking for examples of people being bullies, trolling, etc...is a rather silly thing to ask for. If you're not new to the forums, then you should know that the forums are full of trolls and "my new vegan diet is the only way to eat" know it alls...
I believe the point is... and jof is more than welcome to correct me here.... that IF there was bullying actually happening, then it's against the TOS and should be reported to the mods as such... OTHERWISE, it's all the perception of the reader... I personally, rarely see actual bullying around here... in fact, I can't even list an example that has happened in the general forums... but I see a lot of posters that get corrected and get all butthurt about it because it's not what they want to hear and then call those that challenged their preconcieved and misguided notions "bullies/haters/mean/etc.".... just because you precieve it to be doesn't mean it was actually happening...0 -
You must be new here...jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
Checks number of posts made by jof... *laughs hysterically*
Then asking for examples of people being bullies, trolling, etc...is a rather silly thing to ask for. If you're not new to the forums, then you should know that the forums are full of trolls and "my new vegan diet is the only way to eat" know it alls...
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sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Classy.
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Typical forum long-timer. Happens on every social media website.
Fact is, in most cases the forums are about the same, but the user is disenchanted and bored with status quo.0 -
sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Hypocrisy. Delicious hypocrisy.0 -
sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Now *there's* the positivity that's been missing from the forums.... NICE!0 -
sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Really? Was this necessary? You are whining about mean people and then cuss out another? Hypocrite much? You should not use Lamby's image in vain....0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Classy.
And highly ironic.
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sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Tsk
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sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Complains about meanness... is the first person in the thread to tell people to **** off and call names.0 -
This content has been removed.
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bennettinfinity wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Now *there's* the positivity that's been missing from the forums.... NICE!
She must have reached her goal then and be a regular apparently.0 -
It gets more difficult to be really supportive when OPs (some trolls, some not) ask such silly questions - things they could easily answer in two minutes with a google search. It's also tough with so many off the wall "chit-chat" posts that come up in the feed. I try to be really nice and supportive...but there is a limit to the amount of stupidity I can take.0
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oh oh
this will not end well 0 -
Ypu keep replying to what im saying with bs . What do you expect ?-5
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Dontcha think?TheVirgoddess wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Calliope610 wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?
*kitten* off bit ch
Classy.
And highly ironic.
A little tooooo ironic...
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Debate club. Keep your cool.sexymonicat wrote: »Ypu keep replying to what im saying with bs . What do you expect ?
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It's like rain on your wedding day...0
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sexymonicat wrote: »Ypu keep replying to what im saying with bs . What do you expect ?
You*
And cussing people out only shows your level of conversation.... that of a 6th grader... No one was calling names or cursing... until you did it..0 -
sexymonicat wrote: »Ypu keep replying to what im saying with bs . What do you expect ?
Basic human decency?
But yeah, that's my own character flaw that I'm still working on.0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »It's been my experience that every single helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will eventually be called out as a mean, hateful, negative bully at some point or another no matter how many smilies they add to their posts.
Seriously, I've been called mean/troll for: using copy/paste advice posts, suggesting that someone who feels sick after eating breakfast doesn't need to eat breakfast, linking people to the sexypants thread, asking people further questions about what their routine looks like when they ask for help, because I called someone out when they implied that asking someone to open their diary is bullying.
Because the accusation gets thrown around so often, threads like this actually add to the negative atmosphere instead of helping it. When everyone on the boards gets called mean on a regular basis, any post that calls out the "mean people" without specifying who they are talking about will end up attacking everyone.
There is some negativity and aggressiveness on these boards that goes above and beyond what should be here. But it's not the norm and is often called out when these regulars that you seem to dislike see it. Report it (use the actual report function, not the flags that no one pays attention to) or call it out where you see it, but posts like this are never going to solve the problem that you think exists.
^^yep0 -
simplydelish2 wrote: »It gets more difficult to be really supportive when OPs (some trolls, some not) ask such silly questions - things they could easily answer in two minutes with a google search. It's also tough with so many off the wall "chit-chat" posts that come up in the feed. I try to be really nice and supportive...but there is a limit to the amount of stupidity I can take.
hahaha now there's some nice honesty.0 -
Who woulda thought if figggerred.0
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Cranquistador wrote: »It's like rain on your wedding day...
That's not ironic! That's just bad planning. Now maybe if you were marrying a weatherman, and he set the date...0
This discussion has been closed.
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