Does Anyone Notice The Rampant Negativity Here?
Replies
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sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
hi! that is exactly what i interpreted from your post even when i might or not agree with you, that's why ask her how did she pmx i believe is her name got to the conclusion that you said that losing 100lbs and your opinion it's not valid anymore
If you've lost weight great. Thats no reason to be mean to people just because they dont know the first thing about getting healthy. I know not every person here is rude because theyve met their goals, in fact I have a few on my friends list . And If you find yourself exhausted from explaining then dont come on here so often or when ypure irritated
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yeah an people need to learn to agree to disagree a lot 0 -
lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.0 -
Im sure the poster isnt talking about cleasing pills that make ypu piip blood that dr oz reccomends . Shes talking about all the smart a** comments and constant arguments0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »What I do notice a lot is people starting threads with unsustainable, unneccesary, unhealthy, or even downright foolish ideas on how to lose weight, and then crying "bully" when people tell them that their idea is unsustainable, unneccesary, unhealthy, or even downright foolish.
Yeah this is pretty much the only thing I've noticed. Or if someone posts a crazy diet/ fad/ or weight loss "secret" and people post articles and studies to explain how they don't work - people posting the articles get labelled as a bully
I definitely agree with the above. People have made posts about things like using "waist trainers", eating only coconut oil, taking phen-phen or other drug etc. When they get responses like "this isn't needed for weight loss or it may have negative effects" the poster responses that people are being negative or bullying. It doesn't occur to them that people may be trying to be helpful, are concerned about them making a mistake and/or offering constructive criticism. Not saying that there isn't rudeness at times but the number of false accusations of rudeness and negativity is much more commonplace.0 -
My cat has decided that I have had enough of this mean people thread, so I'm off to bed.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.
Sysiphus, is that you?0 -
sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
hi! that is exactly what i interpreted from your post even when i might or not agree with you, that's why ask her how did she pmx i believe is her name got to the conclusion that you said that losing 100lbs and your opinion it's not valid anymore
If you've lost weight great. Thats no reason to be mean to people just because they dont know the first thing about getting healthy. I know not every person here is rude because theyve met their goals, in fact I have a few on my friends list . And If you find yourself exhausted from explaining then dont come on here so often or when ypure irritated
i would agree on that,don't know the type of response that you've had but i've being here for years and haven't lose my patience but if it happens i would take soome time off of the forum i guess , plus we were all new at some point0 -
Lasmartchika wrote: »redheaddee wrote: »As grown ups, we do have the ability and the option to ignore people. I recommend exercising that option in addition to your normally scheduled work out program.
Now, this is what I see people can't do. So the threads go on and on in circles. It gets me dizzy. If people ignored without needing an ignore button, threads would be shorter and even more to the point. That is all.
I'm just going to ignore that you said that... 0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.0 -
lindsayforlife wrote: »I've been on this site for over 4 years, and it's really starting to bother me how negative a lot of responders are to people's questions/comments. It hasn't always been this way - I assure you.
I remember several years ago, posters would ask any manner of questions and were met with kind, pleasant and encouraging responses. I find it very discouraging that even simple questions are met with bullying, offense and sarcasm. This is not what this site was created for.
I miss the kind, generous and patient responses to all types of questions. We are all here for a common goal - to better our health and in turn, our lives. Please join me in continuing the MFP tradition that has been all but lost and provide a safe, encouraging and non-judgemental place for people from all backgrounds, all weights, all levels of knowledge and all levels of success. Not everyone is the same, but as a community we should all be welcoming and kind.
You have 79 posts. Please tell me how much you contribute to a kind, pleasant and encouraging atmosphere.
I'm not even disagreeing with you - but it's more than a little hypocritical to chastise people for not behaving a certain way when you're not putting any effort in.0 -
Iron_Feline wrote: »
My cat has decided that I have had enough of this mean people thread, so I'm off to bed.
Lmao! CUUUUTE!!0 -
Ganging up? Where?sexymonicat wrote: »Attack after attack. If you're not mean and what I said isnt true why does it get to you so bad ?? I was just sharing how I see it. Screw this site. I am tired of all the ganging up on people for no reason.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.
I made a new account and don't remember the title anymore, so unfortunately I don't think I can find that anymore, drowned in months of new threads on top of it. I do still remember the day, though: I came back home from somewhere, excited to see if somebody had answered my question with some advice. To the credit of many in this forum, there were several people with actual, helpful answers, and even people telling those who were mean to back off. Still, the mean people were so mean I no longer wanted anything to do with it, so I don't know how that ended and whether the people calling me names got some repercussions or not, since I never went back to that thread.0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
LOLwut?
:huh:0 -
bennettinfinity wrote: »Lasmartchika wrote: »redheaddee wrote: »As grown ups, we do have the ability and the option to ignore people. I recommend exercising that option in addition to your normally scheduled work out program.
Now, this is what I see people can't do. So the threads go on and on in circles. It gets me dizzy. If people ignored without needing an ignore button, threads would be shorter and even more to the point. That is all.
I'm just going to ignore that you said that...
But I'm one of the nice ones!! Don't ignore me!! Hahaha!!
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[/quote]
LOLwut?
:huh:[/quote]
Ooooh...or the other option, of course. Troll.
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sexymonicat wrote: »sexymonicat wrote: »Yes I notice it. It seems like regular posters have met their goals and have developed a gang member mentality to attack any outsiders . If theyve met their goals and are feeling the need to be mean they should try to do it in real life and see what kind of response theyd get. They may make someone cry or get a much needed punch in the face. Lol sorry was that mean ?
So, someone who has lost 100+ pounds and reached their goal no longer has value here?
do you actually by heart even if i my self don't agree with her opinion think that that was what she meant ? really?...
No im saying if you've been sucessful then you shouldnt be so hard on new members . Otherwise wtf are you doing here ????
I haven't been successful. Can I continue to be "hard on new members"?0 -
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
LOLwut?
:huh:
iunno.. Just roll with it.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
Checks number of posts made by jof... *laughs hysterically*
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Sinistrous wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
LOLwut?
:huh:
iunno.. Just roll with it.
Omg that's so adorable
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0
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lawlifehanna wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.
I made a new account and don't remember the title anymore, so unfortunately I don't think I can find that anymore, drowned in months of new threads on top of it. I do still remember the day, though: I came back home from somewhere, excited to see if somebody had answered my question with some advice. To the credit of many in this forum, there were several people with actual, helpful answers, and even people telling those who were mean to back off. Still, the mean people were so mean I no longer wanted anything to do with it, so I don't know how that ended and whether the people calling me names got some repercussions or not, since I never went back to that thread.
It sounds like you had a choice and chose to focus on what you perceived to be the 'negative'. In public forums you need to learn to glean what you want and leave the rest behind... unless you like the drama.0 -
It's been my experience that every single helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will eventually be called out as a mean, hateful, negative bully at some point or another no matter how many smilies they add to their posts.
Seriously, I've been called mean/troll for: using copy/paste advice posts, suggesting that someone who feels sick after eating breakfast doesn't need to eat breakfast, linking people to the sexypants thread, asking people further questions about what their routine looks like when they ask for help, because I called someone out when they implied that asking someone to open their diary is bullying.
Because the accusation gets thrown around so often, threads like this actually add to the negative atmosphere instead of helping it. When everyone on the boards gets called mean on a regular basis, any post that calls out the "mean people" without specifying who they are talking about will end up attacking everyone.
There is some negativity and aggressiveness on these boards that goes above and beyond what should be here. But it's not the norm and is often called out when these regulars that you seem to dislike see it. Report it (use the actual report function, not the flags that no one pays attention to) or call it out where you see it, but posts like this are never going to solve the problem that you think exists.0 -
lawlifehanna wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »lawlifehanna wrote: »I tried to make a comeback to MFP a few months ago. I asked a simple, honest question in the forums (something about going to the gym). I went away for a few hours, and when I came back there was 3 pages of comments that started out nice, attempting to actually answer my question, and then it turned mean. I'm fine with people being blunt and telling me I'm incorrect, but there are several different ways to do that. Calling someone a stupid hypocrite (I was literally called both stupid and a hypocrite) isn't helpful to them, and if it's helpful to you, then do it to a pillow or a painting on the wall, not another person. I got so discouraged I actually quit and gained another 10lbs before coming back. I'm not blaming that on anybody but myself specifically, but considering that this is a place where people come to look for support and advice, often in a very weak moment in their lives, being mean and discouraging them by calling names and bullying them (yes, despite what some people in this chain have said, there is bullying, although thankfully to a lesser extent than in many other places) when they're just starting to figure these things out isn't helpful or friendly.
Finally an example. Please provide a link so we can see who violated the ToS without any repercussions.
I made a new account and don't remember the title anymore, so unfortunately I don't think I can find that anymore, drowned in months of new threads on top of it. I do still remember the day, though: I came back home from somewhere, excited to see if somebody had answered my question with some advice. To the credit of many in this forum, there were several people with actual, helpful answers, and even people telling those who were mean to back off. Still, the mean people were so mean I no longer wanted anything to do with it, so I don't know how that ended and whether the people calling me names got some repercussions or not, since I never went back to that thread.
Wait.
So your post was met with helpful answers...but a few people said something mean but were called out on it by other members...and that was a failure of the system? It sounds like the system worked perfectly.
But more practically, what would you have the MFP collective do then? Eliminate all potentially "mean" responses? I don't know how that is even possible. And I'm really curious if the responses were truly mean or if it was in your interpretation of the "tone"...but without an actual example, it's all just speculation and assumptions.
Yeah, I've seen a few threads over the years where someone said something inappropriate *and was then called out on it*...often by those who I assume to be part of this always-undefined group of "mean people".0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »I know what you mean. Even legitimate questions are met with sarcasm, trolling, etc...unfortunately that's the forums for you (as they are now). Other forums spark debate and problems because as someone said earlier, many buy into diet myths or the same topics get posted over and over (which is inevitable due to new users coming to the forums...people who are new to dieting, etc.)
Examples. Please.
Even one example would be a great start. Even. One.
LoL-you MUST be new to the forums...seriously must be. If you haven't seen it yet, you must be new or never go on the forums...
Patience, young padawan. Go forth-peruse the forms...many examples you shall find.
Checks number of posts made by jof... *laughs hysterically*
Then asking for examples of people being bullies, trolling, etc...is a rather silly thing to ask for. If you're not new to the forums, then you should know that the forums are full of trolls and "my new vegan diet is the only way to eat" know it alls...0 -
Maybe some people are hangry?0
This discussion has been closed.
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