We broke up because...

sw33tp3a15

She only wanted my affection on Tuesday and Wednesday

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always nowhere to be found on Tuesdays and Wednesdays!

47Jacqueline

Our schedules were incompatible.

Thisnameischosen

She stayed in that pose all the time. We couldn't go anywhere.

handyrunner

Whenever we went somewhere she would loudly proclaim her next activity in the bathroom

Thisnameischosen

He liked pina coladas and dancing in the rain. I like blue sky's and vodka. Meh. Didn't work out.

sw33tp3a15

She kept on stealing my red lipsticks

g44219

came home with her red lipstick smeared

slimgirljo15

Red lipstick all over his collar..

g44219

Thought she had lipstick on but turned out to be blisters!

slimgirljo15

I saw the blisters on his *kitten* and realised where the blisters come from

g44219

hahahaha whaaa???? you did not! she spread rumors about me that weren't true

slimgirljo15

I went to his place of work and saw a bed in there..I quickly realised what his work was

47Jacqueline

Just slept all the time.

Darklords

wouldn't let me sleep when I wanted to

handyrunner

Kale it was always about kale!!!

Darklords

always complained about the kale

handyrunner

The kale flavored underwear was a bit much

Darklords

always complaining about something

handyrunner

Wouldn't let me whine

Darklords

all he did was whine when all I wanted was WINE!!

JSurita3

Never left any wine for me.

Darklords

because @handyrunner drank it all

Callme_Jer

She couldn't handle the beard

JSurita3

refused to shave.....EVER.

Timshel_

She kept saying the strapon was normal.

ItsMeGee3

Normal was no fun.

ImOneStepCloser

It got too weird.

jbuzzed

She was too flashy

Thisnameischosen

She beat me at everything. Hurt my pride