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We broke up because...
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She only wanted my affection on Tuesday and Wednesday0
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She was always nowhere to be found on Tuesdays and Wednesdays!0
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Our schedules were incompatible.0
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She stayed in that pose all the time. We couldn't go anywhere.0
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Whenever we went somewhere she would loudly proclaim her next activity in the bathroom0
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He liked pina coladas and dancing in the rain. I like blue sky's and vodka. Meh. Didn't work out.0
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She kept on stealing my red lipsticks0
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came home with her red lipstick smeared
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Red lipstick all over his collar..0
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Thought she had lipstick on but turned out to be blisters!
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I saw the blisters on his *kitten* and realised where the blisters come from 0
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hahahaha whaaa???? you did not! she spread rumors about me that weren't true0
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I went to his place of work and saw a bed in there..I quickly realised what his work was 0
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Just slept all the time.0
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wouldn't let me sleep when I wanted to0
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Kale it was always about kale!!!0
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always complained about the kale0
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The kale flavored underwear was a bit much0
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always complaining about something0
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Wouldn't let me whine0
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all he did was whine when all I wanted was WINE!!
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Never left any wine for me.0
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because @handyrunner drank it all0
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She couldn't handle the beard0
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refused to shave.....EVER.0
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She kept saying the strapon was normal.0
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Normal was no fun.0
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It got too weird.0
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She was too flashy0
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She beat me at everything. Hurt my pride
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