We broke up because...

Sinistrous

I kept trying to pin a tail on their donkey. I thought their neighbor was the donkey. That neighbor happened to be their landlord. I nearly got them kicked out.

maeld51

I kept telling her: NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!

My_Mind_Is_My_Cage

She hated my taste in music

lisalips30

he wouldn't let me braid that hair,

My_Mind_Is_My_Cage

every time we'd kiss, I'd get stuck on those giant beautiful lips

carolinagirl543

He wouldn't get a haircut

assthetikk

was OCD about body hair..wouldnt let me near herself before a thorough inspection

carolinagirl543

He inspected well on the body hair... but was into too much talk, not enough action.

kendall916

Hanging out with the girls

tibo1783

she took better care of the dog

assthetikk

wouldnt take care of our dog

tabata_king

Starves himself

anadoesit

I couldn't keep up at the gym!

SwitzEngine

she gave up too fast

anadoesit

He was too into his own training to help me!

determined_ella

she left me because she wanted someone that would give her an unlimited credit card....which the person below provided

assthetikk

she was so ignorant she thought credit cards were adult toys and tried to swipe it on my butt

determined_ella

assthetikk wrote: »

she was so ignorant she thought credit cards were adult toys and tried to swipe it on my butt

your butt is deceiving!...

he just couldn't keep up with my libido...

keith0373

She kept sexting all of my friends

determined_ella

he was telling his friends I wanted an orgy

keith0373

Because it was true!

slimgirljo15

He preferred our neighbour

determined_ella

^
because he can't share!

ckmnacln

She loved her selfie stick more than me

determined_ella

a selfie stick? what's that?

she always found ways to confuse and scare me

keith0373

She kept taking Selfies with her selfie stick

Unknown

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determined_ella

he just wasn't satisfiable

JackKopCh

Was way too wild for me ;P

needernt

She slapped me in the face.