We broke up because...

Darklords

refused to wear the bikini and run around on the beach

DiviturLabimur

She couldn't keep up

dozensofthreads

Flirted with too many ladies

Darklords

to many restrictions on me

Darklords

he wanted to run around naked in the restricted areas

kchuskey

She was too new to me..

FabulousFantasticFifty

He tried to lure me in with wine

finny11122

She gave me the flu

RunTimer

wet the bed

night sweats due to flu

Darklords

he keeps spilling my coffee

RunTimer

she had cold feet....literally


(and she hogs the covers)

FabulousFantasticFifty

Every time I asked him to share the covers he'd make hog sounds at me!

jbuzzed

She dumped me

JSurita3

Cried for her ex

RunTimer

called me a crybaby

JSurita3

Couldn't handle the truth

RunTimer

she nicknamed her ****** 'truth'

and said I couldn't handle it

FabulousFantasticFifty

That is true!!!

Unknown

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RunTimer

she insisted I wear the restraints

FabulousFantasticFifty

Had no sense for adventure!

RunTimer

two words

BungeeSex

JSurita3

Made me laugh out loud everywhere.....even at funerals

FabulousFantasticFifty

Got us thrown out of Uncle Chester's funeral

Darklords

Uncle Chester was not even her Uncle

FabulousFantasticFifty

She found out uncle Chester was really my sugar daddy

Darklords

pfft then got mad at me when she found a "friend" hidden in my closet

FabulousFantasticFifty

Her "friend" was my Father!

Darklords

got mad when she found out her Father was my sugar daddy

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was getting sugar from my daddy!