We broke up because...

Darklords

she caught me cheating on her daddy with a younger man

FabulousFantasticFifty

That younger man was my brother!

Darklords

she ahd way to many family members I keep getting caught

GDLAZ

I wasn't a member of the family...

Mizzaf

He wouldn't get rid of the beard!

house101292

She kept whipping me in the face with her hair.

Timshel_

Got as big as a house

JSurita3

Called me fat

pixlikesitcrazy

Because he wouldn't let me wear red lipstick

RunTimer

jealous

he spent all day kissing his biceps

vivimarie2015

I was jealous of his butt.

slimgirljo15

He smelt like 6 different perfumes none were mine

erinnboberinn

She didn't like my new mix of 6 different perfumes

RunTimer

she tossed out my mix tape

slimgirljo15

Came home with an STD

RunTimer

she wet the bed

SugarBabyGirl

he ate the last oreo

slimgirljo15

Was always eating......biscuit crumbs in our bed

La_Malfaisante_

She never let me eat in bed...

handyrunner

She never let me eat

I want pie damnit

slimgirljo15

I had lots of things for him to eat..he just said he wasn't hungry..too hard to please

JSurita3

He wanted to eat peanut butter off me even though he was aware of my allergies.

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

We were stuck on an island and I had to eat him.

handyrunner

Would never let me drive the bat mobile

RunTimer

Confused @jimmybanks for @handyrunner

HappilyDistracted

Couldn't take a hint

finny11122

She lived on top of a mountain. I had to rappel into her house for the first date

HappilyDistracted

No sense of adventure

slimgirljo15

She said she was going on an adventure and never came back

HappilyDistracted

That's not out of the realm of possibilities...

She was always waiting around like a lost puppy