We broke up because...

jbuzzed

Only wanted me for my money

qxana1969

fronted she had money but we lived in the car

BoogeyBrat

Spent too much time working on his car.

Noelv1976

Gave me the extra finger...wasn't expecting it, so I felt violated

BoogeyBrat

Never wanted to try anything new.

Noelv1976

Brought in a cow to bed...saying she wanted to lick all the nipples. gross!

qxana1969

knew bestiality was a hard limit - always pushing the limits

BoogeyBrat

Never wanted to go outside his comfort zone.

Noelv1976

Drank Southern Comfort like it was sweet tea

jessicaromrell699

Super judgy about my drinking habits

capnrus789

She farted during coitus. I'm the only one allowed to do that.

BoogeyBrat

Had to spend all the rent money on air freshener.

Noelv1976

Tried to summon the dead last night, scared the crap outa me. Had to leave

BoogeyBrat

Prejudiced against dead people.

Noelv1976

She has her "time of the month" on my days off. Not cool yo

BoogeyBrat

He had perpetually bad timing.

qxana1969

he surprised me by taking days off - woops, caught with my pants down

Noelv1976

She only had sex when I was away. Saying long distance relationship helped strengthen our relationship. NOT!

qxana1969

he was away ALL the time - once a year ain't going to cut it.

chimptron

She was two-timing me. I can't stand when my mistresses do that!

nicolethompson0715

He looked better then me with suspenders on

chimptron

nicolethompson0715 wrote: »

He looked better then me with suspenders on

She was mistaken. She would DEFINITELY look better with suspender on!

iTim__

She always wins at Mario Kart

qxana1969

My only real success and he stomps on it.

iTim__

She stomps a lot.

Wonderwomanvik

He rained on my parade?

slimgirljo15

She ran off with her ex .

iTim__

Because she could save 15% or more on her car insurance.

synchkat

He didn't like how I drove

JordanTerry516

Because her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard