We broke up because...

GDLAZ

The motorcycle pipes burned her shoes.

iTim__

Was shocked to learn he's a dude.

qxana1969

believed in electrical shock for behavior modification

SugarBabyGirl

I couldn't get him to change his Superman Underoos

iTim__

Her panties were labeled "Wednesday" and it was Sunday.

synchkat

he had no undies

Noelv1976

Were old ladies undies

iTim__

Was actually an old lady.

synchkat

he was really a 65 year old man living in his mom's basement.

Alfit88

she was mean

mulecanter

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Was Ab Normal.

qxana1969

spray painted abs before going to the beach

Kvm11628

He kept telling me every beach we went to was a nude beach. The fines for indecent exposure were getting extreme.

slimgirljo15

She wouldn't apply sunscreen to my bits for me...mean ..

Kvm11628

Only gave me bits of her affection

iTim__

Couldn't keep her hands off my bits.

Kvm11628

I couldn't find his bits.

slimgirljo15

She wanted man bits

iTim__

She couldn't tell bits from grits.

Kvm11628

He wasn't gritty enough in the bedroom.

slimgirljo15

He was too shy..virginal..pure..

HappilyDistracted

She was too brash... Experienced... Erotic

BoogeyBrat

Overdosed on self-tanner

Just_J_Now

Didn't want an experienced woman

tc1333

She wouldn't let me experience her.

HappilyDistracted

He was a stalker

_fitness4life_

Kept experimenting with everyone but me. Was feeling left out.

RunHardBeStrong

She didn't understand why I watched her with binoculars

synchkat

Took her binoculars everywhere. So embarrassing

HappilyDistracted

It was the telescope that bothered me