We broke up because...
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She didn't appreciate my style of "people watching"0
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Stalker!!!0
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It got old having chairs in the bedroom for spectators. I needed some alone time, but she always kept the seats filled.0
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It wasn't the chairs in the bedroom that bothered me so much, as when she moved in a set of bleachers!0
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Never...ever...we're a shirt0
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She kept hiding my shirts!0
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She liked her dates short and male0
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She short changed me0
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Embarrassed me at our family's Thanksgiving dinner by getting drunk, climbing on top of the table and singing Rick Astley into a turkey leg.0
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Was so smashed ..didn't realise this story was what she did..the pastor will never come to thanksgiving again ..after she jumped on his lap and said "ride me cowboy"
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Didn't support my aspirations of being a professional cowgirl-themed lapdancer.0
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She never made any money being a cowgirl inspired lapdancer..she kept giving them for free
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Had to give up clergy parking because of her.0
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Parked in my front yard all the time, and I got ticketed by the city.0
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Wouldnt share her happy pills0
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Had a pill problem0
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She thought I had a pill problem0
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Liked streaking in CVS0
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She didnt like my life time ban from CVS0
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Wasn't into girls..preferred cowboys 0
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Stalked me across five continents with a boombox over her head looping 'Baby Come Back'0
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Awkward!0
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Did we??0
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Didn't take me trick or treating. Said I was too old.0
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Wanted to steal the kids' candy0
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Didnt like candy stealing thieves0
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He put his candy in the wrong lolly jar0
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She wouldn't stop licking his peppermint stick0
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Eating the filling out of Oreos, licking them and sticking them back together for the next person.0
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