We broke up because...

bdgfn

Kept following @slimgirljo15 around town feeling them to see if they really were real!

slimgirljo15

Jealous of my "real" breasts

bdgfn

They intimidated me!

slimgirljo15

Intimidated by breast..enough said

bdgfn

LOL....

Always trying to feed me breast meat, I wanted thighs...

cmDaffy

I always wanted him to go a little higher, but he stopped at my thighs

bdgfn

Carpet did not match the drapes

cmDaffy

(want to check?)

Had no drapes...

bdgfn

(I'd love to!)

Spoke in tongues

slimgirljo15

His tongue wasn't that good

bdgfn

(I beg to differ with you on that...)

Only wanted tongue

Wonderwomanvik

He said my thighs could feed an army

bdgfn

I wanted more than just thighs

slimgirljo15

He decided he like sausage better

RunHardBeStrong

she ran off with the butcher

synchkat

Didn't share his cake with me

synchkat

His thong go to be a bit much

Kvm11628

Had a thing for camels

Kvm11628

Accused me of attempted murder

RunHardBeStrong

He told me he was at work but really he was scouting out the prison yard for his next girlfriend

Kvm11628

Kept telling me, "But, baby, orange is the new black..."

Kvm11628

Was always tearing apart the food I made him looking for contraband.

RunHardBeStrong

Was always looking for ways to escape

RunHardBeStrong

Kept me locked in a box under the bed

Wonderwomanvik

Stole my lockbox with all my valuables and treasures!

RunHardBeStrong

you don't want to know what she considered treasures!

Wonderwomanvik

I know what she did last summer.... And I told everyone!

RunHardBeStrong

She told everyone my personal business

Sniper_Chick

hated when I always wore uptight business suits

RunHardBeStrong

He was always hitting on my secretary