We broke up because...

synchkat

her secretary was hot...how could I not hit on him

Peter_Brady

It's complicated

Wonderwomanvik

He was always having hot flashes and sweating uncontrollably

RunHardBeStrong

Everything was complicated even that 70's stache...

Wonderwomanvik

She said I have a mustache

velocityc6

She didn't like my stache

qxana1969

he wanted me to have a mustache, even tried gluing cat hair to my upper lip

kjm3579

Was allergic to my cats

RunHardBeStrong

was a member of the cat of the month club

qxana1969

cat was a code name for "playmate" of the month - I couldn't handle that much rotation

cmDaffy

She wanted to play with others

qxana1969

he knew I liked a man in a tool belt but he wore it endlessly

cmDaffy

lol!!! There was nothing hammer-ish about him

nitroalley

Would come home hammered and fall asleep

cmDaffy

all he did was sleep when I wanted to have fun

qxana1969

singing "girls just wanna have fun" ALL the time was more than I could handle

qxana1969

never stopped reading my mind - no secrets to be had

nitroalley

Only wanted to do it in the bedroom at 3AM

qxana1969

not true, it was the only time he was awake

Wonderwomanvik

She slept during sex

__Sparkles__

She kept calling me crazy eyes!

FabulousFantasticFifty

I came to discover that she was slipping Rohypnol into my tea!

Wonderwomanvik

She wanted to be tea bagged. I couldn't do it

__Sparkles__

Wonderwomanvik wrote: »

She wanted to be tea bagged. I couldn't do it

Lmao (actually just spat my drink out!)

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always spitting at me when she talked!

Wonderwomanvik

She hated that I always swallowed

FabulousFantasticFifty

I dont know what shes always talking about swallowing and I really dont want to!

RunHardBeStrong

buried me in the sand... and left me there

nitroalley

Left me outside during Hurricane Sandy

clh72569

He was an abusive alcholholic that told me everything was my fault.