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We broke up because...
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Truer to act like Chevy Chase.0
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lol she started calling me Clark0
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Found Superman Underoos in his laundry. Strange superhero fetish.0
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she said I was faster than a speeding bullet. I wasn't that quick0
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His insults were more powerful than a locomotive0
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she wanted to wear boots to bed with spurs on them0
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Nothing I did spurred him into action0
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She was always about action. Sometimes talk was nice too.0
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I couldn't shut her up. 24/7. Even in her sleep.... Talk talk talk0
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she always gave me the silent treatment.0
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He would never be silent. Talk talk talk all the time.0
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her routine was come home, hold hand up for me to shut up, shoot down a shot of bourbon, then say "ok you can talk now"
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Wait. Have you been spying on me?0
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She thinks he's stalking her so she was up all night with a gun0
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haha called the cops saying I was peeking in her window. I was trying to serenade0
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Nobody serenades with binoculars.0
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She said nobody was calling her0
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Your nobody called today, and she hung up when I asked her name!0
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She wants to know everyone's name0
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She never remembered any of our friends names.0
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She hates when I forget someones name I mean she has too many u cant remember all of them0
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They don't like the name game0
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Um tells lies about me even ask his parents they know that he farted0
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Her ex was a creepy stalker0
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She's bothered by my stalker0
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He Shaved!!0
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He shaved me0
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He refused to support my kombucha addiction... and makeup addiction... and amazon shopping addiction.0
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She didn't like my mom's food0
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