We broke up because...
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He kept me tied up all day0
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Wouldn't obey my instructions0
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He meant sub sandwiches.. always wanted me in the kitchen0
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Shed never cook on her night!0
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Her cooking made me sick but I had to eat it anyway0
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Shed purge her dinner and sneak off to Taco Bell!0
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Her tacos were not so hot!0
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He had lunch with strange statues and when I asked who they were he'd laugh at me0
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She had the attention span of a guppy0
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He thought he was a Yuppy!0
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She never said yup it was always nope0
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He would never bring me coffee to bed0
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Some strange Guy was walking in our bedroom bringing her coffee!0
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I found out her legs were fake ..0
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She faked it with me.
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There were some things that I just couldn't fake!
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Always with the coffee. Too much coffee0
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She never drank coffee because the coffee machine broke.0
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Stayed up late and did arts and crafts - never came to bed0
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Pencils everywhere. Those things hurt when you sit on one by mistake0
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She never put the pencil in the pencil holder!0
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He kept calling me daddy0
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She kept beating me at FIFA on the Playstation. She never once let me win....1
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He just wasn't good at video games...I could only pretend to be so bad0
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