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We broke up because...
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She had this mole on her forehead shaped like a flag...She got upset when I stared at it...honest that thing was weird..0
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I found out she was a black widow, one that marries people then kills them for money.0
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Realized she had no money...wasn't worth the trouble of hiding the body0
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She threatened to kill me0
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She was on the crack pipe0
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Dumped me for not sharing said crack0
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Her jeans were so low that every time she bent over I could see her crack0
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She loved my crack..just didn't want me to share it at the supermarket...a lot of groceries down low ya know0
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She got caught stuffing a Ham under her skirt!0
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She didn't like pork/ham.0
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Caught her her "porking" the Grocery Delivery Boy!0
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She wanted to have me arrested for porking a youngster.0
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Objected to my method for getting free groceries.0
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She has to stay 1000 yards away from a school and I live right next door to one!0
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Wouldn't relocate0
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Relocated my trailer to Dog Patch when I was at work!0
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She was so picky! Nothing pleased her! Hated my surprises.0
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Her surprises always ended with me not having clothes on in public.0
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Surprised me one day with a Rash!0
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She always had suspicious rashes0
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