We broke up because...
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She'd hold my mouth & nose at night and said it was the snoring until I found the Life Insurance Policy that Paid double for Death by Suffocation!0
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^^^^ said I was far too kinky for her
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His idea of kinky was Necrophilia!
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She slept like the dead0
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She thought playing dead during luvins was a turn on0
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Once I lost consciousness after coming out of the shower and she thought since I was Nekked that it was to seduce her!0
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He was posing himself off as Rick Astley but he was just a Counrty Bumpkin from Hobunk!0
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Made fun of my family0
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Her family had to be involved in every thing we did... sometimes it was very "awkward"0
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Ya she wasn't being truthful. I don't care for that.0
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Called me a liar and spat in my face!
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She chewed tobacco - all that spitting!0
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she kept a spittoon by her bed0
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Freaked when I told him I had morning sickness!1
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But it wasn't, again not truthful smh0
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she got morning sickness and Maury said I was NOT the father0
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But the tests were wrong and he still denies0
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Tried to pay off the Polygrapher0
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claimed she caught cooties from a public restroom0
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Insinuated that I was scrappy!0
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she had night terrors0
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She was always loaning out my power tools!0
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Scrappy is what scrappy is. Don't deny it!0
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she was the Queen of denial!0
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She scrapped all of my Scooby Doo Memorabilia!
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she didnt understand that adults shouldnt play with kids toys0
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