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We broke up because...
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Kept insisting I ate off paper plates.0
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The plate in her knee set off my hearing aids0
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She would turn up her hearing aids whenever the neighbors were doing it.0
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She had selective hearing0
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She kept believing a date for two meant she got to bring a "friend"0
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She would always make me pay when we went out0
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I heard her muttering under her breath that she wanted to "make them pay."0
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She always ordered the most expensive item on the menu, even if she did not like it or was allergic.0
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She was a gold digger0
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Kept digging holes
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She found out I was hiding bodies0
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Did not understand I would help hiding the bodies0
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She never knew I had no bodies it was just a game0
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Got too upset when I found out I was rotting in prison and there were no bodies!!
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Heard about all the conjugal visits she received when she was incarcerated.0
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He would never visit ...heard he was busy w the holes0
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She was always mumbling something about her Ex and his ho ho hos!0
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She switched teams while in prison0
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Found his Miley Cyrus collection. I just couldn't look him in the eye after that.1
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His moves came at me like a wrecking ball0
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He was a wreck!
I had a better one but thought I might end up in MFP jail!
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She was a ball breaker . I can only imagine Linda. 1
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He was always imagining linda
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She always thought I was fantasizing about other women.0
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He was fantasizing about Blonde Women!
Wha??? 0 -
I wanted to find out if blondes have more fun0
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He was never happy ...bored w me and my hair0
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She was too friendly with the neighbour0
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She didn't like me laughing and sharing recipes w the neighbor0
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She shared the recipe for edible body paint ..and ate a gallon off him1
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