We broke up because...

Unknown

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FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always coming home sticky

Justpeachy02

She stayed gone all the time

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always nagging me for going to work

candiinprogress

She expected me to be a stay at home mum. To our 5 miniature ponies

BreezyPeezy5

She was in love with a man named Sam, not me

Crissypanda

She loved someone else

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always yelling out Keanu in her sleep

Crissypanda

She listened to my sleep talking

FabulousFantasticFifty

She sleep walked into some guys bedroom

candiinprogress

She tried to smother me in my sleep

Bonny132

She Dutch ovened me one times too many, her backside should be considered a weapon of mass destruction.

candiinprogress

She tried to eat my dog. I caught her salting him and placing him on an oven tray. He was still alive

Bonny132

It was either the cat or the dog, the dog was bigger. Still not sure why she got so upset?

candiinprogress

Cheated on me with the elderly lady next door

Bonny132

It wasn't a lady but a transvestite. Was just not open minded.

candiinprogress

She kept using frozen sausages as a strap on...

Bonny132

candiinprogress wrote: »

She kept using frozen sausages as a strap on...

Hate wasting food, besides made breakfast quicker to prepare.

She was a vegetarian.

candiinprogress

She was a vegan

Bonny132

Cut her toe nails in the livingroom.

candiinprogress

Chewed her toenails in the bedroom

Bonny132

Collected toe nail clippings, sorting them out by colour.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Always taking leg selfies

Bonny132

Kept stealing my selfies

FabulousFantasticFifty

Sold my selfies as her own

Bonny132

Kept filling my memory card up with her bum pics.

Bonny132

Was too insecure.

Nitroalley2

Was always chafing at the bit.

Bonny132

Never bought any lube.

Bonny132

Never replaced any of the used batteries.