We broke up because...
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Had too many Sister Wives0
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Wasn't into polyamory but more into swinging0
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She ran off with the neighbour and our life savings0
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She was heart broken and broke, too much baggage!0
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He was simply a douche.... cheater, liar, untrustworthy.0
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She was really a 'he'.
Or I thought 'she' was a 'she'?
Shoot, what's my gender identity?0 -
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Could never figure out which restroom he felt comfortable in0
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His nipples kept poking me in the back at night0
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Stole all the little free toys from the cereals
Whist he was doing the weekly shop0 -
He was to vulgar to every lady we came across.0
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Keep standing on my toes when we danced0
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He was always blocking my good side!0
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i couldn't find her good side0
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She complained that I never gave her flowers or gave her breakfast in bed0
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He fed me Cyanide with my eggs and dug a grave in the backyard and filled it with carnations0
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She did not like the flower I gave her0
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She gave me flowers stolen from the Cemetary
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did not appreciate the flowers I gave her0
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Her night terror kicks ruptured my spleen0
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Cuz he Puts ketchup on shepherds pie0
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Took her shepard's crook with us everywhere we went.0
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Kept putting the decorative shams on the bed incorrectly0
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Although she loved the fact that I was an athlete, she didn't appreciate the athletes foot that came with it...0
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He didn't like me wearing his basques0
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insisted the world IS flat and spent our life saving trying to prove it0
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We fell off the end of the world0
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He thought the world was flat0
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