We broke up because...

Masyn88

She kept stealing my clothes - ain't no wife of mine wearing MY pants!

hankpick77

Caught her siphoning gas it of my truck, even if I did use her card to pay for it

Masyn88

He rigged a Rube Goldburg machine that was triggered by arrows..... in the kitchen..... it served him beers

davedoubleu

His arrow was for someone else

Taylor076097

He thought he was cupid

hankpick77

She hid my arrows

NewlifeinNW

Kept trying to poke me

davedoubleu

We were a couple in a jigsaw and when it was finished......

ChrissyDomer

He was "jigsawin" with someone else lol

hankpick77

Stole my motorcycle and rode off into the sunset

Masyn88

Drove my four wheeler into a swamp that, no, you CAN'T make it through - snapped the winch trying to haul it back out

hankpick77

Cause she dared me to go thru the swamp and when I got stuck left with my truck and I had to walk home

NewlifeinNW

He would not stop singing let it go. C'mon man, let it go already, its over.

laura_zavaleta

We dated for 10 years and one day he woke up and decided that he didn't love me anymore

hankpick77

Loved watching Jerry springer more than me

NewlifeinNW

He was not the father

hankpick77

Cause after 30 people couldn't tell me who the father was

NewlifeinNW

Always imposing limits on me, I needed to spread my freak wings

hankpick77

His wings flew him all over the country, never knew where he was

MJFSH

Carried a tape measure in his pocket to measure everyone's imaginary wings

FabulousFantasticFifty

Every time she touched me I got electrocuted

MJFSH

was claiming to be elecrocuted constantly.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was s heart stopper

TonyBurnitt

Kept saying she didn't want any fires but then kept stealing some of mine

takingitslow38

He was clingy

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mrwineismybf

He always had to hold hands when eating pizza

Backonthehorse77

She ate pizza with a fork

MzIrish

I liked leg day at the gym and he didn't

Backonthehorse77

I couldn't handle her leg day