We broke up because...

xzsharp

she could not take half of my balls into her mouth

kq1981

He did not like my small mouth

Lioness_1978

He was fixated on cotton candy. It was like cat nip. To much for me

lqqkingatu

Why do I keep thinking about deflategate?

xzsharp

ahaha

Lioness_1978

Because I couldn't do cats with beenies

xzsharp

she wasn't into cats..

Lioness_1978

Because we didn't want the same things in life at the end of the day

xzsharp

wow very adult and boring reason

xzsharp

hits you like a hammer.. lighten up kitty!

Lioness_1978

Because he continually picked on me in the mornings before I had my coffee

maeld56

Coz he couldn't keep up

handyrunner

She went to fast

xzsharp

couldn't pick up enough girls together

maeld56

He wouldn't go fast enough!

xzsharp

she would pull my hair very hard

jbirdgreen

He kept using my comb on his beard.

subcounter

she kept changing my shampoo with Nair. Something about her liking bald guys...

Lioness_1978

He didn't like that I wanted to shave my head

rogerlamar6

I kept catching her with her finger in a *kitten*.

Shoebacha1

She didnt like my hairy kitten

subcounter

I told her its me or the horses, she asked me when I could finish packing

xzsharp

he didn't count fast enough ;(

Lioness_1978

He didn't want to hold hands

Shoebacha1

she kept naming my body parts

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Rax1974

Said I reminded him of weird Al too much

Timshel_

He kept twerking while brushing his teeth.

FabulousFantasticFifty

I always caught him staring at my arsse when I brushed my teeth

Shoebacha1

She thought it was weird that I spoke whale