We broke up because...

Carbkiller1970

He pissed his pants more than what I find to be acceptable

Egger29

She didn't let me wear adult diapers

jfrancis89

He says Das and frankly... Das not cool

Egger29

His beard conditioner gave me the worst skin rash

slimgirljo15

He liked beards..I didn't have one

DSwales11

I finally learned how to escape handcuffs

DasItMan91

He tried to put me in handcuffs

Carbkiller1970

Imma nickelback fan

A_MariposaDream

Because she glued a nickel to my back while I was sitting by the fan lol

Muscle_for_Fitness

Things got weird when she accidentally swallowed a nickel and pooped out 5 pennies

FabulousFantasticFifty

She didnt like my Love Songs

lqqkingatu

She never slept - kept shaking me and yelling, trying to wake me up!

kinetixtrainer2

Bridge_marie wrote: »

His high pitched squeals

Stop punishing him

slimgirljo15

Never..he's tied to my bed ..

FabulousFantasticFifty

I came home and found a Cop wearing his own Handcuffs in our Bedroom!

Dazzler21

Found her with a handcuffed cop in her bedroom

slimgirljo15

Had a problem with the extra person in our bed

FabulousFantasticFifty

I shouldn't have told her about that one time!

Carbkiller1970

If I were you I would just take advantage if that situation

Dazzler21

She took advantage too many times and not in the fun way.

FabulousFantasticFifty

His snake was too big and it scared me!

Nitroalley2

She only liked to pet snakes.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Until that snake tries to squeeze the life out of me and swallow me whole!!!

lqqkingatu

She couldn't explain her collection of boas....

DSwales11

Her legs were like boas, sent me to the hospital

FabulousFantasticFifty

Everything was going great until that time he called me Thunder thighs!

iTim__

She didn't like my constant ThunderCats references.

Carbkiller1970

I don't wanna talk about it , it's too painful

iTim__

She had a low pain tolerance level.

RunHardBeStrong

His safe word was unicorn poop