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We broke up because...
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He pissed his pants more than what I find to be acceptable0
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She didn't let me wear adult diapers0
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He says Das and frankly... Das not cool0
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His beard conditioner gave me the worst skin rash0
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He liked beards..I didn't have one0
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I finally learned how to escape handcuffs0
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He tried to put me in handcuffs0
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Imma nickelback fan0
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Because she glued a nickel to my back while I was sitting by the fan lol0
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Things got weird when she accidentally swallowed a nickel and pooped out 5 pennies0
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She didnt like my Love Songs0
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She never slept - kept shaking me and yelling, trying to wake me up!0
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Never..he's tied to my bed ..
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I came home and found a Cop wearing his own Handcuffs in our Bedroom!
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Found her with a handcuffed cop in her bedroom0
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Had a problem with the extra person in our bed
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I shouldn't have told her about that one time!0
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If I were you I would just take advantage if that situation0
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She took advantage too many times and not in the fun way.0
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His snake was too big and it scared me!
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She only liked to pet snakes.0
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Until that snake tries to squeeze the life out of me and swallow me whole!!!0
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She couldn't explain her collection of boas....0
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Her legs were like boas, sent me to the hospital0
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Everything was going great until that time he called me Thunder thighs!0
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She didn't like my constant ThunderCats references.
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I don't wanna talk about it , it's too painful0
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She had a low pain tolerance level.0
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His safe word was unicorn poop0
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