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We broke up because...
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He was always off on his own, roaming in the closet.0
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You don't even want to know what I found in her closet. Nightmares for days.1
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I told you that clown was gonna get you!0
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She was always clowning around0
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he didn't like my version of clowning foreplay0
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A red squeaky nose does not belong down there!0
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She didn't like my bedroom games0
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He was all abt bedroom games0
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he didn't like my version of bedroom games.0
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Her bedroom games involved too much foreplay.0
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All talk no action0
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I tried to take action and she fell asleep0
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I fell asleep because he was boring0
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I fell asleep on top of her.0
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He fractured my rib when he slept on top of me0
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She was too fragile0
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She didn't like kneeling.0
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Ugh he just didn't understand!!0
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She wouldn't try new positions.0
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He wanted to try impossible positions0
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she only liked 2 positions0
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... And she knew only one @LonniJay0
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She wasn't too limber. She couldn't put her ankles behind her head.0
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Wouldn't let me show him other positions0
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Couldn't touch her ankles!0
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she wouldn't try the whole Kama Sutra0
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I'm very flexible, he just wouldn't look away from the TV1
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Always wanted to watch the porn on TV instead of me.0
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He would just lay there so I had to watch porn0
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Was obsessed with porn0
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