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We broke up because...
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Pffft..we talking cremated food..not spices0
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She drugged me and tried to have me cremated!0
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So paranoid..it was a campfire0
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She tried to make it look like an Accident when we were on a trip!0
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Would perform that sharon stone..basic instinct move of crossing and uncrossing her legs..no panties..did not go down well at church0
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She's always trying to Pimp me out and would whisper "Dont give it away for free!"
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he laid around all the time, what choice did I have?0
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She tried to lay down the law, but I wanted to be in charge.0
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His best line was, "I carried a watermelon."0
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Wanted me to wear a coconut bra in a big show.0
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Didn't like the fuzzy balls in my car0
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Had no appreciation for different kinds of balls0
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wanted to mate in the bouncy ball pit0
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Force fed me rum balls. Think he wanted me to get drunk.0
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He couldn't hold his liquor0
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She wouldn't hold my hand0
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His beard scratched me too often0
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her fingernails left scars0
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She forgot the safe word0
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I woke up with bruises she couldn't explain0
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