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We broke up because...
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Tried to use the sex ed toy on me.0
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He didnt like the rabbit, said it jumped too much0
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She preferred naked mole rats over gerbils0
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Her and her rodents0
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She was afraid of my rat Master Splinter...0
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She shaved her rat so it looked slimmer.0
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He preferred my rat shaved. Said it's smoother0
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Got mad when I fed her rat to my snake0
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Got mad when I made her snake stew but didn't tell her it was her snake till she ate the last bite...0
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He moved to another country but left the children behind. Deadbeat!0
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She had too many kids... I already have two what's ten more she says0
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I was supposed to receive a closet, but she was delivered at my door, in a wooden box, with two toothpicks and some gum.
I'm sorry, I needed the gum.0 -
She tried to sell my children to weird Rich people0
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She objected with how I made money0
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He messed up multiple times but we are all humans and make mistakes right?
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Too forgiving0
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He never had a jacket to loan me.0
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She looked better without a jacket0
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He was always watching sports0
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He thought he had wings & could fly0
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He tried to curse me with voodoo0
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She wanted me to poke her with needles instead of the doll0
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He was freaked out by my love of pain0
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She said I was an unbearable pain in the *kitten*.0
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His idea of poking was not the same as mine0
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I like a lot of different kinds of poking, I must have been confused as to what she wanted, so she left.0
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She didn't poke hard enough0
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She kept poking me in the eye with a stick.0
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He kept poking the neighbor with his stick0
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He didn't like my poker face0
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