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We broke up because...
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Cause I was an Old Hippie0
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His long hair kept getting in my food0
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Her eyes distracted me a lot
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She smoked too much pot.0
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he was trying to grow it in the front yard for the neighbors to see.0
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She cut my plants down and smoked them all.0
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People thought I was dating a peacock.0
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She always left the toilet seat down.0
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He always left the toilet seat up0
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She always crop dusted me when I was showering0
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She kept doing a dutch ovens when I was sleeping.0
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He'd lift more weight than me and it made me feel inadequate0
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He mixed almonds into my pistachios, that just won't do.0
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She has a mixed nut phobia0
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He was always touching my nuts0
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He didn't like getting Adventurous with props0
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We were to much like a 70's R&B song, it was never meant to last.0
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She kept eating all of my nuts.0
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His nuts weren't good0
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i'm allergic to nuts.0
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She was allergic to me0
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He had a sneezing fetish0
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She was far too vanilla0
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His hands are small and weak and he could never strangle me hard enough1
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She was a deviant and always tried to get me to do all this .. stuff. I have PTSD from it now. The nightmares never stop.0
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He pushed me out of bed during several of nightmares. I had enough.0
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Wouldn't let me lick her feet anymore, said it got "too much" .. was only every few hours. She's selfish.0
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He was selfish and didn't care about what I wanted.0
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