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We broke up because...
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she confused smoking with vaping0
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I don't do either. He wanted me to smoke nasty shiit
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she knew i was gross0
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My instincts were right on0
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Apparently to her, fidelity was a necessity to maintain a healthy relationship...1
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Apparently infidelity was a necessity to maintain a healthy relationship0
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She preferred to date within her own race...0
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He didn't like that I'm a Heinz 570
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She didn't like that I am 57 and obsessed with ketchup0
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I never understood when she spoke in code..0
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She uses all my ketchup0
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I was more partial to mustard0
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She never called me by my name...0
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He never told me his name. So I called him Todd he didn't like that0
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Our addictions were incompatible...0
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Our incompatibility was addicting requiring rehab0
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She was too dominant or I was not submissive enough...
#OneOfThose0 -
He's a little confused0
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Kept leaving her weapons all over the house2
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Always played with her swords0
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She didn't have a penis...2
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She thought I needed a penis0
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She hated my hammer toe0
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Her sword wasn't long enough0
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She went crazy and thinks she super woman!!! She tried to fly people and take me with her!!
CuCU stay away0 -
she found out i had another love - Heinz real Yellow Mustard0
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Heinz ketchup was better than mustard...0
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she couldnt handle the tang0
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U had to bring that up!
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She always claimed "Top!"0
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