We broke up because...
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All good things must come to an end...0
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I got pregnant0
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I wasn't the father...0
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He was the mother
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He didn't believe I was carrying the messiah!0
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Of her inability to keep secrets...0
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I found out all his dirt from his Ex0
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She was best friends with my ex0
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She preferred body over brains...
#IHadNeither0 -
All he had was money, and when that was gone... well...0
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I was poor.0
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She was a mooch0
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She smelled of cat nip and tuna0
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She found my special hiding place where I keep my hundreds of kitties0
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She wanted us to grow old together and be Cat Ladies0
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She didn't like my dreams0
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She got violent in her sleep!0
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She didn't like it rough0
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She despised my warts0
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She gave me an std1
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She had a rash ..0
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She had face herpes and got mad when I stared0
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She came home with a bunch of cold sores0
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She kept calling the leftover fruity pebbles on my face cold sores...0
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She was a slob!
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Apparently I had a smell...
Not my fault I'm busty and lose food in my boobs that I sometimes don't find for a week.
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She was storing food for the Apocalypse0
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She didn't believe my "squirrels will take over the world" theory and mocked my acorn stash0
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Her acorns scratched my *kitten*.0
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She couldn't tell Acorns from Chestnuts!
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