We broke up because...

liftorgohome

He would finish before I began

Keto_N_Iron

he was obsessed with his own nipples

liftorgohome

She didn't like my nipples.

bigjuicy1234

Had 3 nipples

Keto_N_Iron

he was so judgy

TEQWAR

It got so I dredd-ed coming home.

bigjuicy1234

She wouldn't let me motor boat her

TEQWAR

Even though I've no cleavage, tried to motorboat me.

liftorgohome

When I said let's motorboat I meant in the real boat. He was so slow we broke up.

Keto_N_Iron

he liked is blow up alligator a little too much...

liftorgohome

She wouldn't blow it, I mean my alligator.

Keto_N_Iron

there you have it... nothing left to say about him

TEQWAR

Had nothing to say.

bigjuicy1234

Said smurfette sat on his face and turned his hair blue

TEQWAR

Couldn't handle the deep abiding love that Smurfette had for me.

ladychris29

Found out he was calling multiple women Smurfette

liftorgohome

She wouldn't register all the vehicles, deal with any repairs, do the baking, clean the house, go shopping or take care of the kids. She just sat on the couch.

TEQWAR

ladychris29 wrote: »

Found out he was calling multiple women Smurfette

You'll always be Numero Uno Smurfette!

ladychris29

Lol Got me confused with one of his side chicks

bigjuicy1234

Was one of @liftorgohome 's side chick

ilfaith

He stayed out in the sun too long...got dehydrated...and turned into bigjerky1234

mandipandi75

Doesn't take ANY risks

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mandipandi75

Had an obsession with Skippy peanut butter and his dog Skipper

ilfaith

Was always just a moment too late

mandipandi75

Said no guy ever! Obviously not who I thought he was..

TEQWAR

Couldn't handle me being always spot on time.

mandipandi75

Was oblivious to where my spot was

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FabulousFantasticFifty

He was a smartassssss!!!