We broke up because...
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Your mom is a psycho0
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You often mistook my dad for my mom...0
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You wanted me to call you daddy.0
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You were a Cowboys fan. GO EAGLES!!!0
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She didn't let me wear my spurs around the house. Said they jingle jangle jingled too much0
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She apparently has too many friends and doesn't have time for me anymore.🙄0
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He is a fan of my enemy.0
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She grew tired of me
Speaking only in the form
Of “useless” haiku...0 -
He kept telling me no0
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We agreed to disagree one too many times...0
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You never laugh0
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I considered laughter to be overrated - used only to mask and disguise life’s realities. She didn’t agree...0
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He found someone new0
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She became aware of all 3 of my addictions...0
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His addictions weren't conventional and in couldn't handle all the cotton balls, smurfs and liquid dish soap0
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Our combined stress levels exceeded that of a healthy relationship...0
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That wasn't stress but I let him believe it was because he was stressing about it0
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She kept introducing me as her next ex-husband.0
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We were too similar, particularly when it came to genitalia...0
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because he always saw things in black & white0
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He was a private dancer0
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she didn't like to dance in private0
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He tried to dance on my privates0
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I walked in and saw a guy attempting to dance on his privates0
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I told her either it was going to be Mickey Mouse or me... well... we see which way that went.0
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He can get me in the parks for free, it was a no brainer!0
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She kept wanting to role play with us as cartoon characters.0
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Regular season of football started, so I never saw him anymore0
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He told me he liked the Browns0
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She wanted to make all the play calls1
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